Consequences
by SummersRain04
Summary: Buffy's been gone for five years as far as most of them know. The need to be alone, to heal, too strong to ignore after they beat back the First. When they find her again she's in hospital and fighting for her life. Secrets, old enemies, old friends and the consequences of what they have done, good or bad, over the years has come back to bite them, some harder than others. AU
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or the name of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer. they all belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, WB etc.**

 **This is only me having some fun with what Joss created.**

 **Rating: T/M throughout. Will warn you if it is an explicitly Mature theme**

 **A/N: This is an amalgamation of a couple of works in my hard drive that had started to stagnate. I re-read them and decided to mix them together and see what happened. This is the result. I'm not going to lie, this looks as if it's going to be another long one but I have to get this out of my head before I can go back to my other stories.**

 **So enjoy and thanks for reading :)**

Chapter 1

Buffy heard Willow, Faith and Dawn asking her what was next and how it felt to not be the one and only chosen and she couldn't help the thought that popped into her head – _three days ago you kicked me out of my own house because I was reckless and now you wanna know what I think? Pfft._ She smiled as she realised the irony of that and decided to keep her thoughts to herself.

Instead she turned to face them, avoiding Giles' searching gaze, and shrugged her shoulders, "Don't know about you guys but I think we should really be getting the injured somewhere other than that bus to treat them plus I would like to get as far away from this nightmare shithole as I can" she said as she walked through them towards the door at the back of the bus. She kept her arms crossed over her stomach holding her jacket closed over her wound, hoping they wouldn't realise the cut in the back was from a weapon.

Dawn watched her sister scale the side of the bus and jump onto the roof, retrieve the scythe then drop through the back door, shutting it firmly behind her before pressing her hand to her side and walking towards the front of the bus, checking the girls as she passed them.

"What's wrong? Why is she mad at us?" she asked looking from Giles to Willow, Xander and Faith then back to Giles, confusion plain on her face.

Faith snorted, "Ya kidding right?" she asked incredulously looking at the others in surprise when they looked as hurt and confused as Dawn, "Wow you're really not. Okay, do you even remember what you all did to B three days ago?"

Willow squeaked and looked at Faith with a guilty but shocked expression, "But she spoke to us like she used to, she didn't say anything, we planned and talked and hugged" she babbled as she looked at each of her friends.

"Yeah I mean she even joked about my eye and asked me to take Dawn away from the fight" Xander said his voice betraying the panic and hurt that was barely contained in his eyes.

"We are all so very stupid" Giles said as he pulled his glasses off of his face and pinched the bridge of his nose. Turning away from them, he stared over the crater that Sunnydale had become and cursed himself a fool for the hurt that he had seen in her eyes, _I wondered why the bond was urging me towards her,_ he thought, _that hasn't happened since she came back to me. I ignored it then and look where that got us._ _I'm not bloody likely to make the same mistake twice._

"Can we fix this?" Dawn asked shakily as tears began to form in her eyes.

Faith shook her head in disbelief and kicked a rock into the crater, "Not fucking likely" she said harshly watching it sail through the air, "I saw her face not thirty seconds after you lot shoved those knives in her back and let me tell ya I have never seen pain like that, not even in the mirror. That last night we were in the house she still thought she only had Spike as a friend and she even felt guilty sleeping in the same bed as him coz of what he said to her" she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at them, "there's not enough tea, cookies or grovelling in the world for you guys to make up for what you did"

"Yeah, well, you were right there with us and you didn't say anything," Dawn said angrily, lifting her head from Willows shoulder, "Why do you come out of this without the guilt? And what did Spike say to her?"

"Because, Dawn," Giles said stiffly, turning back to them as he put his glasses back on, "she didn't betray her. She didn't expect her to…to carry the weight of the world, again, and, most importantly of all, she didn't judge her for making a mistake"

"But she was right though wasn't she G" Faith said with a smirk as he turned back to the crater with a scowl on his face, "Caleb did have something of hers at the vineyard and she went back there _by herself_ and took it from him, managing to get to us in that sewer to save the day as well even though we really didn't deserve it. Imagine what would have happened to us if B had been seriously injured or even killed by Caleb when she didn't have her scoobies backing her play? Just a thought" she said with that same smirk on her face. She knew she would never be the Slayer Buffy was and she had made her peace with that long ago, now she just had to be as good as she could be and hope that was enough.

She turned to Dawn and, still smirking, looked at her speculatively, "Spike told her he loved her" she said not missing the way Giles stood slightly stiffer, "he also said that she was a hell of a woman and that she amazed him along with a few other things"

"Did she tell him she loved him?" Willow asked still not entirely on board with the whole Spike thing.

"She probably did before he went poof but she wouldn't have meant it, she ended up loving him the way she loves you guys, well some of you anyway" she said staring at Giles with a smug look on her face when he turned to glare at her again.

Giles glared at her for a few seconds before she turned her back on them and sauntered back to the bus to see how Robin was doing. Dawn followed her footsteps a few seconds later to see if she could help, more subdued and thoughtful than she'd been since Buffy had died after saving her from Glory.

"Oh Goddess what have we done?" Willow asked breathlessly, a hand clamped tightly over her stomach.

"We can fix this right?" Xander asked them, tears beginning to form in his eyes as the gravity of the situation finally sunk in.

"I very much doubt it" Giles muttered still distracted by Faiths words, "For seven years she fought for us, however reluctantly she accepted her calling, she died for us twice, and we've paid her back by turning on her, breaking her trust….I don't know if we could ever…." he trailed off and shook his head before turning back to the bus.

"But we have to try" Xander said a little desperately, "we can't not try...right?"

"Of course we try Xand" Willow said tearfully, "We have to, she's our family"

Twenty minutes later they were on their way to find somewhere to stay while the more seriously injured, like Rona and Robin, could rest until they could withstand a longer journey.

Buffy sat at the back of the bus watching everyone through slitted eyes as she pretended to doze. Faith had told her that she had clued the guys in about what was wrong, warning her that they were hoping to fix it. So she watched silently as Xander and Willow would cast furtive but hopeful glances back at her as they tended to the various injured newbie Slayers.

She wasn't sure how she felt about them yet, she knew she didn't hate them but she didn't want to forgive them yet either. They were wary of her, avoiding eye contact when they had climbed back on the bus, and it made her want to laugh in a weary oh-my-God-what-the-fuck-has-happened-to-us kinda way. It was why she had used the connection she had with Faith and shared a dream with her, she had needed to talk without the judgement or frown-y faces she would have gotten from the gang.

Dawn on the other hand had walked onto the bus not long after Faith and wrapped her arms around her, sobbing into her neck and muttering, 'I'm so, so sorry, I love you, I don't know why I did that, please don't hate me' over and over until Buffy had relented and told her she loved her back, that she was forgiven. She was asleep now, sitting in the chair in front of her, her head gently bouncing against the window where she had rested it. Buffy had suggested finding their father and Dawn had dismissed the suggestion with a sneer telling her she wanted to stay with the gang.

She shifted on the seat a little so she could see Giles as he drove the bus, her memory automatically flashing back to the Knights of Byzantium and the spear he took to the gut and she flinched away from the image. She could feel the bond pulling at her, nudging her to take him, claim him again like she did after Adam and the nightmare that had been the whole year and judging by the spikes in her heart rate he could feel it too.

Should she ignore it like he did after she had been brought back from the dead? Like they both have since he showed up on her doorstep all doomsday prophet, neither one wanting to open themselves up to that with everything else going on. Or should she let him be the one to decide?

Shifting uncomfortably at the rush of arousal she felt remembering the times they had given in to the almost primal urge to claim each other, she thought back to the times the bond was satisfied with less contact, a hug or a simple holding of hands, and wondered why it had started to demand their joining.

Giles, who she saw shifting in his seat too, had a theory of course, something to do with her longevity as the Slayer. The longer she was alive the stronger their bond got and eventually it had demanded a coupling from them, a claiming he had called it. Apparently they were matched by the Powers long ago and that the Councils decision to pair the Untrained Slayer and the Renegade Watcher, in the hopes that she wouldn't last, had actually had nothing to do with them.

That fact, once Giles had unearthed it, had pleased both of them. Knowing that no matter what the Council tried to do to them, or how much they tried to split them up, wouldn't make a difference had calmed something inside of her; she was his and he was hers.

Buffy smiled slightly at the memory and saw his eyes flick to her in the rear-view mirror, the same small smile playing on his lips as was on hers and she scowled at him causing him to look away with a sigh. She wasn't going to let him be gentle and sweet like he had been before, no she wanted angry sex. Not violent like it had been with Spike, never again would she delve that deep into her dark side, just a good hard fuck would be exactly what she needed right now.

She thought back to laying in Spikes arms the night before and how she had felt comforted by his presence but at the same time realising that he had become as dear to her as Xander had in the beginning. She had felt their connection and had used it to draw the comfort and strength she needed from him but at the back of her mind she had thought of Giles and how she had felt the last time she had fallen asleep in his arms.

She swallowed as she imagined what they would do when they next had the chance, the strange popping sensation she felt in her head was ignored when she clamped down on a moan as the images became more vivid.

 _God Buffy, please stop_ she heard him beg her and she sat straight up startling Vi who had been dozing in the chair across from Dawn.

 _How did you do that?_ She thought back at him and saw the surprise in his eyes just as she heard Faith shout out that she could see a motel in the distance.

Swallowing heavily Giles focused back on the road and squinted at what Faith was pointing at. It was a two story Spanish style hotel with balconies and lush green plants in large terracotta pots bordering the courtyard. Bonus was that it seemed to be completely deserted. He pulled in and parked in front of the main entrance, turning the engine off he looked at Buffy through the review mirror,

 _Should we scout out the interior first before unloading the injured?_ He asked, his eyes widening in surprise when she nodded and stood up.

"Faith with me," she called out as she made her way down the bus, "The rest of you wait here until we give the all clear"

"Vi, Shannon, keep on your guard just in case" Faith said as she stuffed a stake in her waist band and slid a small hand axe out from a weapons bag that had been tucked under a seat. Buffy didn't look at anyone and just strolled off the bus and into the motel, scythe in hand with Faith following right behind her.

"Expecting any bad guys?" Faith asked once they were inside the cool lobby.

Buffy shook her head as she looked around the lobby. Seeing the extra large potted ferns and big wide leafy plants swaying slightly in the breeze that was blowing in from the open patio doors at the back she made the decision to start upstairs then work their way back down hoping it wouldn't take more than twenty minutes.

Walking behind the reception desk she took all the keys out of their little slots and handed half to Faith "Not really but you can't be too careful" she said in a whisper as they made their way up to the second floor.

"Gotcha" Faith whispered back then lapsed into silence sensing that Buffy wasn't in the mood for their usual banter.

Once they reached the second floor they turned left and checked every door on the way down the hall, extending their Slayer sense and giving each room a quick visual once over before moving on. They tiptoed up a small flight of stairs at the other end of the hallway and opened a door on what must have been the VIP/Honeymoon suite. Buffy called dibs on it, smiling a genuine smile for the first time in days when Faith shoved her shoulder in annoyance.

"Hey you snooze you lose" she said locking the door after her, wincing and pressing her hand to her side as she turned back down the hallway, "Besides I want as far away from everyone else as I can get to be honest, I'm not in the mood to deal with their drama right now"

"No I get it and Robin probably couldn't make it up the stairs anyway," Faith grumbled, glancing at Buffy with concern from the corner of her eye as they made their way back down, "but man that was a pretty sweet crib B and the shower with all those nozzles…." Faith groaned in bliss as she imagined being buffeted by the hot water.

"Let's just hope the electric stays on while we're here or no one will get to enjoy light or microwaves or hot water even" Buffy said sarcastically, a small smile teasing her lips as they started on the rooms downstairs.

Once they had checked every room, Faith sighing with longing when they found the hot tub and the pool, and found nothing but a few lone vamps waiting out the day, they went back to the bus. Buffy told her she would head to the kitchens to see what food they had and to look for any first aid supplies to replenish their rapidly shrinking supply while she sorted out the rooms. Faith nodded her agreement as they pushed through the front doors, watching her as she stumbled slightly.

"All clear everyone off" Buffy called then handed the keys over to Faith, turned and headed back into the motel.

"Where's she going?" Willow asked as she stepped off the bus.

"The kitchen to see if there's any food and probably the laundry room to see if they have any clothes coz she's got a hole in her top and blood on her jeans" Faith said giving Vi and Rona a key assuming they'd be staying together.

"Buffy's hurt?" Giles asked popping up behind Willow with Dawn on his heels.

"Oh boy is she" Vi said as she put a supporting arm around Rona, "How she's still standing after that blow has gotta be a miracle"

"What blow?" Giles asked and Faith could see the panic rising in his eyes.

"I don't know I didn't see it happen but I did see her go down and she's been favouring her right side" she said gently, indicating on herself where she thought it might be, "but man, when she got up I swear I felt a surge of power flow through me, gave me the strength to kick out from under the pile of Uber Vamps I was under"

Vi, Shannon and a few others nodded in agreement, "Same here," Vi said shifting Rona slightly, "It was like an energy boost and the fight turned in our favour"

Before Giles could say anything they heard a surprised yell from inside and Andrew came running through the doors, "Mr Giles come quick it's Buffy!" he shouted at them and Giles was gone before any of them could even react.

Dawn quickly followed him, running through the lobby and skidding to a stop at the sight of Buffy laying on the floor with some food, a first aid kit, a polo shirt and a pair of sweats scattered around her. Giles was on his knees beside her with his fingers on her throat and his other hand twisting a towel tightly around her abdomen, the end of it trailing in the small pool of blood that had gathered underneath her.

"Giles?" Dawn asked weakly, worry and fear evident in her voice as she stared down at her sisters pale face.

"Not now Dawn," Giles said softly as he looked up at the gathering crowd. Seeing Faith push her way to the front he beckoned her over with a flick of his head.

"Faith, which room is hers?" he asked her after she told the girls to get settled and leave this to them.

"Key's in her back right pocket and it's the Honeymoon suite" she said watching as he lifted her gently into his arms, "Want a hand G?" she asked as she gently lay a few medical supplies on top of the towel around Buffy's stomach.

"Uh..no, thank you, but if you could make sure everyone has everything they need and the injured are taken care of that would be very helpful" he said with a strained smile before walking towards the elevators.

"Sure, not a problem" Faith said before turning to Xander, "Help me get Robin to our room Xand?"

"Sure" he mumbled, watching the elevator doors close on the sight of Giles bending his head to Buffy's and touching his forehead to hers.

"Dawnie?" Willow called to her as she began picking up the scattered objects on the floor, "What are you doing?"

"Gonna take this up to Buffy" she said woodenly, "Faith, can I have a key to a room next to Buffy's?" she called after her as she and Xander walked towards the front entrance.

"Uh...no, sorry squirt but B wants alone time," Faith called back to her without stopping, "besides there is no room next to Buffy's so you're gonna have to find someone to share with if you don't wanna stay on your own, all the keys are on the counter at the front desk, help yourself"

"Okay" Dawn said sadly looking at the pile of things in her hands.

"Come on Dawn let's get these up to Giles and then we can find a room for you as close to Buffy as we can" Willow said gently, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Dawn nodded sadly watching the others smiling and laughing as they moved off towards their rooms or the gift shop or kitchen. She gripped the things in her hands tighter and followed Willow up the stairs towards the Honeymoon suite.

After Giles had gotten her into her room he lay her on the bed, gently removed her clothes then cleaned and dressed her wound before using a damp cloth to wash away the majority of the dirt and grime she was covered in. He then took the time to have a shower and clean himself up before getting comfortable by her side to wait until she regained consciousness.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Giles?" she asked, shaking off the confusion she felt at waking in a strange place.

"Buffy thank the Gods" he said rising quickly out of the doze he had slipped into. He sat forward and took her hand in his.

"How'd I get here?" she asked looking around her, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the light. She recognised the white gauze curtains around the bed and remembered where she was.

"I carried you up here after you collapsed in the lobby nearly two days ago," he said leaning forward and gently brushing his fingers over her cheek, "why didn't you tell me you were injured?"

She shrugged in answer, not wanting to voice her fear that he wouldn't have cared, and pushed herself up against the headboard not caring that she was only wearing her underwear, "It was no big deal," she croaked then pulled her hand from his and reached for the bottle of water that still had beads of condensation running down the outside of the bottle.

She cracked the lid and downed half of the wonderfully cool contents before putting it back, "I think Wills spell healed most of it and the adrenaline took care of the rest, didn't really feel it until we were on the bus"

"Well I damned near lost you again and Dawn has been frantic with worry" he chastised her sitting on the edge of the bed. He picked up her wrist and lay his fingers against her pulse as he looked at his watch, "Back to normal" he said dropping his hand back into his lap and looking down as Buffy took his other hand in hers "And I would have cared Buffy" he said looking down at their joined hands, a faint blush rising on his cheeks.

"That bad huh?" she asked, her thumb moving over the back of his hand, "What's with the mind reading thing anyway?".

"You were run through Buffy" he said ignoring the obvious tremor to his voice as her touch caused his passion to begin to rise, "of course it was that bad and as for the mind reading it may just be another facet to our bond"

"Great" she said with a roll of her eyes then grinned and sat forward, "I'm all better now though right" she said and he swallowed convulsively at the look in her eye.

"Y...yes it would ap..appear so" he answered watching her shift forward and swing a leg over his thighs.

"Dawn doesn't want to find Dad, she wants to stay with you guys" she whispered as she began teasing his lips and jaw with the briefest of touches.

"Th...that's f..fine" he stammered, groaning as her tongue began to tease his neck at the same time she pressed down on his growing desire.

"Good" she whispered in his ear then stood up and walked away with an evil chuckle.

He watched her walk towards the shower room, blinking rapidly trying to dispel the haze that had descended over him during her ministrations and was embarrassed to realise he was grinning like a fool. The shower came on and he stood on shaky legs to gather the clothes and other necessities that Dawn and Willow had scavenged for her.

The shower stopped twenty minutes later and he turned to watch her walk towards him wrapped in a towel, drops of water lazily trickling down her neck and chest.

She walked up to him rubbing her hair with another towel, the look on her face making his heart rate speed up, and he sat heavily on the edge of the bed. She threw the towel she was using on her hair back towards the bathroom and straddled his lap, bending her head to his neck.

"That feels better" she whispered in his ear and he could hear the grin in her voice and now thanks to the new connection that had opened between them he could feel her, taste the flavour of her thoughts and feelings. He was stunned by the love, the need that had nothing to do with the bond and felt the shock go through her when she found the same thing reflected back at her.

Growling he pulled back and fisted his hand in her hair, pulling her head back roughly before covering her mouth with his and taking what he wanted, tasting the mint of the mouthwash he had brought up the day before.

Buffy moaned in delight and gave herself over to him, both of them solely concerned with satisfying the now screaming need from their bond, their own need fanning the flames into a wildfire as he pressed her back into the bed. She fumbled and groped at the button and zipper of his jeans while he busied himself teasing her with light nibbles and sucking kisses over her neck, chest and stomach as he pulled the towel open and out from under her.

Once she managed to free him and take him in her hand he stilled, his head bowed and pressing against her sternum. His breathing became harsh and ragged as she stroked his length, pulling him closer to where she really needed him. With a groan he batted her hand away and slid home in one movement, both of them sighing in completion while the bond practically purred in delight.

Outside Faith was about to knock when she heard the twin groans from deep inside the room. Smiling she dropped her hand and turned around, whistling cheerfully to cover the noises she could still hear and decided to hit the hot tub.

She'd only wanted to know how B was and it sounded like she was doing just fine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

 **Rating: T/M**

Chapter 2

They spent a week at the hotel in the desert before moving onto Los Angeles and started taking care of the necessities they would need to move forward.

Letting the relevant people know that they had not perished in the collapse of Sunnydale took top priority. Then they moved onto making sure they had passports for each of them so they had ID and a way out of the country should they want it. Finding out that that process would take more than a week to organise they tried contacting the Council, if there were any left, using the emergency number Giles never thought he would have to use to get funding so they had food and clothes and a place to stay while they waited. Amazingly enough the 'In Case Of Emergency' board, as Xander, Buffy and Faith referred to them, had already managed to organise what was left of the Council and gladly offered any and all resources to Giles.

Once all the essentials were settled they started to make plans to splinter off.

A few of the surviving baby Slayers wanted to go home to their families so plane tickets were bought for them. Faith and Robin decided to go to Cleveland after Giles was told that the Hellmouth there had a dramatic increase in activity in the weeks since Sunnydales destruction. What few baby Slayers remained, half of them decided to go with them. The rest of them deciding to follow Giles to England.

Willow arranged to stay with her parents for a few months in New York so she could decompress before heading to the coven. Xander, who stayed pretty much to himself for the first few days mourning Anya, told them he wanted to help rebuild the council in England with Giles. Buffy and Dawn had left messages for their father everywhere they could think of letting him know they were fine and how he could contact them if he wanted to.

Dawn chewed her finger nails as she paced the room she was sharing with Buffy, her worry increasing with every second that passed. Buffy had left that morning, a vague answer about going shopping with her brand spanking new council credit card when she was asked where she was going, and no one had seen her since…six hours ago.

Dawn knew they would be following Giles to England and didn't care, it was where she wanted to be anyway so she didn't pout when Buffy just went ahead and made plans without asking her. But she couldn't shake the nagging feeling that something was going on with Buffy that she wasn't telling her, or anyone. Add that to the secret smiles and barf worthy looks she had caught passing between her and Giles she had a really bad feeling she wasn't going to like finding out what was wrong with her sister.

"Hey Dawnie, what's up?" Buffy called as she opened the door to their room and stumbled in laden with bags.

"Where have you been?!" Dawn demanded fisting her hands on her hips and glaring at her sister.

"Uh, shopping" Buffy replied with a raised eyebrow, "What's crawled up your butt?" she asked as she kicked the door shut and put the bags down on the coffee table.

"You disappeared on us, no one has seen you since this morning" Dawn muttered mulishly as she realised she was overreacting.

Buffy smiled kindly at her before brushing a hand over her hair, "Ok one, it's still daylight" she said ducking her head to look her in he eye, "Two, I am still a Slayer and three, I was shopping like I told you"

"Yeah ok, so sue me I was worried" Dawn grumbled as she flopped down onto the sofa. Buffy just laughed as she handed her a bag before taking the rest into her room, smiling when she heard the squeal of delight from her sister as she locked her door.

She pulled the large travel backpack she had bought the day before from the wardrobe and began to pack. Sensible travelling clothes like jeans, leggings, tank tops, shirts and sweaters were slowly pulled from the bags and folded as small as possible on top of the trainers and hiking boots already inside it. Not a single skirt, dress or pair of heels made its way into the bag and a part of Buffy was mourning the loss of the frilly and floaty girly things she loved for the foreseeable future.

Her only concessions to the feminine frills she loved were her three swimsuits, two bikini's and her underwear. Sighing as she kicked off the shoes that she would have to leave behind she double checked she had everything she needed to get going including the magically concealed scythe, stakes and daggers.

In the side pockets she had timetables for buses and trains covering the southern states for the next six months, protection charms stronger than anything Will had ever done, location dampeners and an emergency magic bag that contained all she would need to cast a few defensive spells including dummy proof instructions all thanks to Whistler.

Whistler had been waiting for her outside the first shop she had visited that morning, a grim smile on his face and an envelope and the package containing the magic stuff tucked under his arm. He told her he knew what she had planned and the Powers wanted to make sure she was free to do it safely. He had also reassured her the others would be fine, they would never stop looking for her but they wouldn't find her unless her charms were destroyed.

He had also offered her a potion to block the bond she had with Giles but when he told her it was permanent and couldn't be reversed she had given it back, happy with his assurance the location dampeners would effectively prevent Giles from following the bond to her but, if it was what she wanted, she could still talk to him with their newly formed telepathic link no matter how far away she was.

She pulled the envelope he had given her out of the last bag and tipped it out onto her bed, smiling at the contents as she packed them into her messenger bag. A passport and a driving license in a different name,

 _I guess_ _I'll be leaving Buffy behind now_ she thought sadly as she studied the pictures, _and now I have_ _brown_ _hair! Thanks Whistler!_

She huffed and shook her head as she slipped the license into her new purse along with some of the cash that he had given her and her new credit card that he had told her contained unlimited funds, telling her not to worry about the monthly payments as they would be taken care of. She had decided not to ask who was paying the bill, instead she was just grateful that she didn't have to worry about money now.

The rest of the cash, about five grand, went back into the envelope and into the bottom of her backpack inside her hiking boots while the plane ticket to England, departure date five months from now, went into the inside zipped pocket with the spare credit cards and information for Whistlers varied network of underground contacts and the list of properties that were open to her throughout the world.

After checking everything again she tucked the bags away and left the envelope containing her power of attorney and transfer of guardianship of Dawn to Giles under her pillow then washed up for dinner with the gang.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So Buff, what're your plans now? You going to England with G-Man or Cleveland with Faith?" Xander asked as he cut into his steak with a quick glance at her out of the corner of his eye.

"England with Giles and Dawn" she said with a smile at Giles' shocked expression, glad she had waited until now to tell him.

"Truly Buffy?" he asked placing his wine glass back on the table, carefully controlling his expression so that only she would see the delight at her decision.

She smiled at him and nodded, not trusting her voice as she concentrated on not giving anything away through the bond.

"But what about the Hellmouth in Cleveland?" Faith asked her before lifting her beer to her lips, giving her a knowing smile.

"I've had enough of Hellmouths, it's your turn now Faith, you can handle it" she said raising her water glass to her and nodding, "besides I think I should concentrate on the Council and getting a support network in place if we can" she lied easily, slightly surprised that her voice hadn't shaken with the emotion she felt at lying to them.

"Well alright then" Willow said cheerfully before turning to Dawn and telling her about the schools in England she could attend and what it was like to live there.

"Are you sure Buffy?" Giles asked in a whisper.

"Positive Giles, I'm not gonna be doing the fighting any more unless I absolutely have to" she said with a smile and then discreetly squeezed his thigh under the table before sitting back.

She saw his pleased blush as she fought the rising guilt back down. She hadn't lied, as such, she would be going to England just not yet and she wouldn't be fighting unless she had to. What she had planned was a lot like a holiday with a little search and retrieval mission type stuff thrown in. And without any of her friends, Dawn or Giles knowing about it until after she was gone.

And judging by the flare of arousal she was feeling from Giles and the nudging she was getting from the bond, leaving without causing him any more pain than was inevitable at her disappearance had just gotten a little bit harder.

They ate, drank and laughed until Dawn started falling asleep at the table and Xander started doing a drunk version of the Snoopy dance, prompting Giles to bring an end to the evening when he knocked over a table with an over enthusiastic jump. Standing with a meaningful glance at Buffy he moved away to settle the cheque and order a couple of cabs.

Buffy asked Willow and Kennedy to make sure that Dawn got back to the hotel then followed after Giles.

"I feel like taking a walk" she said laying a hand on his back, slowly sliding it down until it rested at his hip.

"Are you sure? The cabs will be here soon," he said then turned to face her, bending slightly he whispered in her ear "and I was hoping that you would join me tonight"

She shivered as his lips brushed against the skin of her throat, "I know I can feel it" she said grinning back at him, "Shall I meet you in your room in an hour?"

"That sounds wonderful" he said taking a small step back when they heard the others approaching.

Sighing sadly she left the restaurant, taking one last look at them all happy, relaxed and safe through the window before walking away. She took a slow walk back to the hotel and made her way up to her room to check on Dawn, add a few more things to her bags and to change for her visit to Giles. She smiled in anticipation of his reaction, glad she had been impulsive that afternoon during her shopping trip.

The whole way back she'd thought about Willow and Xander and how she had successfully avoided them and the mini Slayers for the last couple of weeks. It hadn't been easy but she just couldn't bring herself to pretend that everything was ok now, that she had forgiven them for turning their backs on her. They hadn't even apologised to her for it, still convinced that they had done the right thing. Just like when they had brought her back to life.

Faith understood her pain, a history of being judged harshly and cast aside had made her uniquely qualified to be her confessor. So she had met her at a bar the night before and told her of her plan to leave, surprised when Faith wasn't shocked by the news.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"C'mon B, like I didn't see this coming" Faith had said with a grin before lifting her pint to her lips.

"And I thought I was being sneaky and clever with my escape plans" Buffy had pouted, slouching against the back of the booth, playing with the moisture on her bottle of beer.

"Oh you are no one else has a clue, I just recognise the signs from all the times I bailed over the years" she said with a grin when Buffy huffed in annoyance.

"Yeah, well, I just can't be the good little Slayer and help rebuild the council like my opinion matters to them" she said with a sneer before lifting the bottle and swallowing the rest of her beer.

"And G? What about him?" she asked watching her closely, grinning behind her glass when she saw a blush spread over her cheeks.

Buffy chewed her lip as she picked at the shells from the nuts they had shared, "I don't know" she sighed, "I can feel the bond pushing me at him, wanting us together but…."

"Isn't that what you want too though?" Faith asked with uncharacteristic kindness.

"Well yeah, he makes me happy and man is the sex unbelievable, but I can't just forget everything that's happened between us no matter how much I want to and I can't expect him too either" she said sadly looking out over the bar and at the laughing, semi drunk people scattered around that were enjoying a Friday night out with friends, no clue about the things that lurked in the shadows.

She looked up at Faith and chuckled sadly, "I've spent the last seven years hurting him in one way or another and he's done the same to me. It's like an emotional tug of war and I'm waiting for the next round of take, worried I'll do something selfish that hurts him or he does something he feels he has to do that pushes me away I don't want to do it any more. I just need…."

"A break" Faith finished for her with an understanding smile not voicing the thought that her leaving will cause him even more pain now they were getting pelvic with each other. She shifted forward and leaned across the table to grasp her hand, "Go, don't leave a note, I'll tell them after you leave. Do what you need to do just don't take forever doing it. We do need you B, never doubt that"

Buffy smiled at Faith as tears pooled in her eyes, "Wow Faith, when did you get all movie of the week on me?" she asked with a soggy chuckle when Faith rolled her eyes and sat back.

"Don't get used to it" she said before finishing her pint and sliding out of the booth, "Wanna come patrol with me? Be like old times" she said with a wicked grin and wiggling her eyebrows.

Buffy wiped her eyes and laughed, "Sure, why not" she said and stood, linking arms with her as they walked out of the bar.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Buffy smiled to herself remembering the fun she had had on the hunt as she made her way to the elevator on her way up to Giles' room. She was wearing a full length fluffy dressing gown covering what she hoped would be a nice surprise for him. As she waited for the elevator to arrive she looked up and down the hall hoping she wouldn't see anyone and have to explain what she was doing.

She wasn't ashamed of her newly formed relationship with her Watcher she just didn't want her sometimes overly judgemental friends poking at them right now. She registered the tiny ding as the doors opened and stopped as she stepped forward, letting out a bark of surprised laughter.

Giles looked up at the sound of her laughter and grinned himself before pulling her into the elevator with him.

"Are you only just getting back? Was there a problem?" Buffy asked him breathlessly as he buried his face in her neck and busied himself with tracing the curve of her ear and jaw with his lips, his hands resting on her ass, pulling her closer.

"Just had to clear a few things up with the management" he mumbled as he pulled the shoulder of her dressing gown aside. She smiled when he pulled back in surprise knowing he had seen the bareness of her shoulder, "Nothing on under there?" he asked grinning at her blush.

"You'll find out in a minute," she said pushing him back when he tried to peek under the lapels of the gown, "What things with management?"

"Hmm, oh, yes, a few of the girls broke some of the strength training equipment but, instead of demanding reparations, the manager couldn't apologise enough for the faulty equipment and has refunded all the gym passes for the whole group while giving us unlimited twenty four hour access to all the facilities on site" Giles said, his eyes travelling over her body and she could tell that he was trying to see if she was wearing anything under it.

"Isn't it a bit late for the manager to be addressing these problems?" Buffy asked as they stepped out of the elevator, "I mean, couldn't it have waited until the morning?"

Giles looked back over his shoulder as he walked slightly ahead of her "He had been trying to get hold of either you or myself all day as he won't be available tomorrow so he waited until he knew we would be in the hotel" he said as he dug into his pocket for his keycard when they stopped outside of his room.

"Oh, where were you today then?" Buffy asked crossing her arms over her chest, not bothering to repress the flare of paranoia and jealousy she knew he would feel through the bond.

Sure enough he looked back at her over his shoulder with a smirk and a roll of his eyes, "Really Buffy there is nothing to be jealous about. I was merely tied up with the real estate agent the emergency board directed me to to sign the paperwork on the American properties owned by the council"

She frowned as he opened the door to his room, "There's property in the states? What property? Where is the property?" she asked while imagining a holiday home in Hawaii.

"At least two in every state" he said with a grin at the look of surprise on her face, "Now do you really want to talk about properties? Because I have a much more pleasant activity in mind"

She gave him a blank look then turned away and began walking back to the elevator. Carefully concealing her happiness as she grinned at the gaping black hole of shock and surprise he was telegraphing at her. Less than two seconds later she squealed in delight when he surged forward and wrapped his arms around her lifting her off her feet.

"And where do you think you're going?" he asked her, turning her so she could wind her legs around his waist.

"You said 'pleasant activity' and that's boring" she said, playfully nipping at his pouting lower lip.

Giles growled low in his throat and pulled her tighter against his chest, "I'll give you boring luv" he said in a Rippery growl before covering her mouth with his, both of them groaning when she shoved her tongue into his mouth and tightened her grip in his hair.

He staggered through his open door, kicking it shut behind him completely oblivious to everything else that may have existed outside their little bubble.

"Told you" Andrew said smugly as he left Xanders room where they had watched them from the slightly opened door.

"I think I'm having delayed trauma from the Hellmouth" Xander said while rubbing his eye with more force than necessary, "I saw that right? You saw that right?" he asked turning to his left and seeing an equally shocked Willow.

"I did I just can't believe it" Willow said in a small voice, her eyes wide with shock, "Why didn't she tell us she was screwing her Watcher? Although that explains the cold shoulder for the last year"

"With the way you lot judged her for screwing a vamp why would she wanna tell you about falling for her Watcher?" Faith asked from behind them causing them to spin around in surprise.

"You knew!?" Willow asked her in surprise.

Faith nodded once, "Have since that motel in the desert but there's been something brewing between 'em since I first met 'em, Watcher Slayer vibes were flying about all over the place" she said with a roll of her eyes when she saw Xanders scowl.

"Oh that is soooo romantic" Andrew said with a flutter of his eye lashes, "The man sent to her by destiny becomes her fate…."

"Shut up Andrew" Xander said smacking him on the back of his head, "it's icky is what it is"

"Why is it?" Andrew whined as he rubbed the back of his head.

"He's what, twenty something years older than her, it's not right" Willow said with her nose scrunched up in disgust.

"Forget it, c'mon Andrew I hear we have full access to all the facilities, wanna join me at the bar? Maybe get a massage?" Faith asked him as she grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the judgey twins before she hit one of them.

"Ok cool but can we get facials too?" he asked her with excitement.

"Don't push it" she said just as the elevator doors shut.

"I'm not wrong am I?" Willow asked Xander as they continued to stare at Giles' door.

"No" Xander replied but he didn't sound so sure. All of his memories of the two of them were running through his head and he started to see the rightness of it.

The sound of Buffy giggling was cut off by a deep throated moan causing them to jump and rush off down the corridor, frantically pushing the button for the elevator. Xander looking thoughtfully back over his shoulder as the doors opened and they rushed inside.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

 **Rating: T/M**

Chapter 3

"Sorry to bother you sir," the voice of his secretary echoed over the intercom behind him, "But there is a girl here who says she was sent by Phoenix Marx"

Giles sighed, turned back to the desk and bent forward to press the intercom button, "Send her up Sharon" he said then went back to staring out of the window.

His hand almost unconsciously strayed to his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, removing the note that Faith had handed to him a year ago. He carefully unfolded it and re-read the words he had already memorised,

 _Giles,  
By now you know that I've gone._

 _Cliche way to start a letter I know but don't panic, this isn't the same as the summer after Acathla. I just need some time to myself, some time to heal. Actually, maybe it is the same._

 _I won't say don't look for me because I know you will anyway but you won't find me._

 _You should know that I love you, all hearts and flowers and head over heels in love with you._ _Somewhere between the first time we met and the first time I saw you after Will dragged me out of Heaven I fell for you and I fell hard. Yes the sex was to satisfy the bond at first but that changed too, I wanted you for me and not the bond, I still do, but I need to be just me without the extras for a while, I hope you understand._

 _I didn't tell you about or let you see or feel any of my plans because you would have talked me out of it or would've just gotten angry with me. I didn't want to leave with that hanging in the air between us.  
_

 _On my bed in my room is an envelope for you. It's a transfer of guardianship of Dawn along with my power of attorney and a letter for her. I know you will anyway but look after her for me.  
_

 _Don't bug Faith, she only knew I was leaving not where I'm going. Hell I don't even know where I'm going._

 _I'll miss you,_

 _I love you_

 _Always,_

 _Buffy xx_

Tracing her name sadly, he carefully folded the letter and put it back into his wallet where it had been ever since he had first read it. Even though he had received a few letters from her over the last year, most a jumble of thoughts and feelings with rambling sentences about the two of them and how she was sorry, that first one was his talisman now, a piece of her that he could carry with him. He turned at the timid knock on his door and sat at his desk,

"Come in" he called out then watched as the door opened and a girl of about sixteen with purple hair and dark brown eyes slid into his office. She had the look of a new Slayer; wide eyes that have seen the darker side and is still trying to get her head around it.

"Are you Rupert Giles?" she asked him in a thick Russian accent.

"I am, Phoenix Marx sent you to me?" he replied knowing what was coming next.

"Yes she tell me you help with Slayer stuff" she said eyeing up the plate of biscuits, bowl of fruit and the bottles of water on the table next to his desk. He smiled and gestured for her to sit, nudging the plate toward her. She wasn't the first girl to show up hungry which was why the table was there.

"Before we get in to that would you mind telling me your name and where you're from?" he asked her, smiling kindly as he took his notebook out from the draw to his left.

"My name is Alisa and I'm from Siberia but Phoenix find me in Paris" Alisa said, finally sitting and helping herself to the water on his desk.

"And why were you in Paris?" Giles asked her putting the notebook, a record of all the girls that Phoenix had sent him, back into the draw.

"Running from my Step-Father and his brother" she said after swallowing the biscuit she had shoved in her mouth, "Mama died six months ago and I left same day"

"Can I ask why?" he asked gently as she made her way through his plate of biscuits.

"Mama was sick for long time, Step-Father and his brother were, how you say, harmful?" she said around a mouthful of Jammie Dodgers and looking up at him through her lashes.

"Harmful?" he asked and she nodded, her eyes wide, haunted almost and he understood "Oh you mean violent?"

"Yes, that is what I mean" she said with a nod, "They using me for punching bag and I heard them say they want to bed me," she closed her eyes and shook her head, "So I left"

"Well I'm glad Phoenix found you" Giles said with a forced smile as he fought down the urge to hunt down the men who had forced her from her home. He took a card from the holder on his desk and handed it to her, "This is the address where you will find someone named Xander, he will make sure you have a bed and a safe place to stay for as long as you need it"

She gathered her purple hair up into a ponytail, not as shocking as the girl with bright green hair and black eyes that Giles had thought was a demon, before taking the card from him.

"I am to stay here?" she asked looking down at the card, "Where is this?"

"Ah yes," he said standing and pulling open a drawer from the bookcase behind his desk, "this has enough money to get you there and here are directions, in Cyrillic, from this office to make it easier for you" he said pulling out a blue purse and a sheet of paper then handing it to her, "and yes you will stay there if you wish and learn more about what Phoenix told you"

"Phoenix not tell me about Slayers, she say I was one then sent me to you with money, food and message" she said standing and pushing the purse into her jeans pocket while looking over the directions.

"A message?" he asked trying to hide his shock that the elusive Phoenix Marx had sent a message with this girl when so many others would just shrug when asked about her.

"Yes a message" Alisa said nodding as she tucked an apple from the fruit bowl into her jacket pocket, "she say 'it's done meet soon'"

"I see, thank you Alisa" he said nodding at her as she left his office. Blinking slowly he picked up the phone and dialled Xander.

"Hello Xander, there's another one on the way" he said when Xander answered the phone.

"I'm good Giles thanks for asking, how are you doing?" Xander said sarcastically and Giles could hear his grin.

"Yes so sorry Xander I was just hoping to avoid you calling me that awful nickname" Giles replied leaning back in his chair while loosening his tie and popping his top button open.

"No seriously, how are you? Dawn said you were busy at Easter and your secretary phones and cancels the dinners and movie nights"

"Shaken actually, it seems as if our Miss Marx is finished her job and I will meet her soon" he said closing his eyes and ignoring the last sentence. He hadn't told them of his one way contact with Buffy and felt immensely guilty about not doing so.

When the girls had first started showing up to him he had thought that it was Buffy sending them. When they had described her to him that hope had dissipated, fading completely when Willow told him that Slayers from the Americas had been arriving in Cleveland for two months previous to the first that found him in England, three months after she had disappeared. If Phoenix was Buffy then the girls would have started appearing closer to the day she disappeared.

"Wow so are we needing to circle the wagons or…..?" Xander asked trailing off.

"No I think I will be fine by myself" Giles said sitting up and pulling out his notebook again, "She has been sending me Slayers from all over the world for the last year, if she meant any harm then she would have sent a few trojan horses as well"

"But what about that sense you had that the girls were holding something back when you asked about her?" Xander asked him and Giles heard the sound of popcorn popping in the background.

"Minor details she told them not to pass on that's all" Giles said sitting up, "I am not worried Xander so you shouldn't be either"

"As long as you're sure then ok. What do I need to know about the new one?" he asked changing the subject.

"Her name is Alisa and she is from Siberia but Phoenix found her in Paris" Giles said flipping needlessly to the last page in his notebook to double check her information, "She was running from her Step-Father and his brother, both of whom were abusive towards her and she left the day her mother died after hearing them talking about having sex with her" he said not sure he would ever forget her story.

"Jesus" Xander said after a few minutes of silence as he processed what Giles had said, "and I thought my old man was an asshole"

"Yes quite" Giles agreed and cleared his throat, "however she seems remarkably well adjusted and can speak English relatively well so I will just repeat the usual message…."

"Just keep an eye on her and if she needs any help whatsoever then let you know" Xander said and Giles grinned at the eye roll he knew he was getting from him.

"Very good Xander, I will speak to you in the next couple of days when I have an idea of where to send her for her training if she is willing" Giles said still grinning as he sat up.

"Now hold on a minute G-Man," Xander said and laughed at the sigh he heard from Giles, "what about you cancelling on us every time we arrange a get together?"

"I can't Xander" he said mournfully, "Dawn tells me you leave a chair empty for Buffy and I can't...I can't sit there and stare at where she should be. It's hard enough without that visual aid"

"I get it I do but we haven't heard from her since you got that weird package of souvenirs a couple of months after she left and Faith just tells me to fuck off whenever I bring her up" Xander said sounding a mix between bored, annoyed and sad.

Xander, after being 'grossed out' as he had put it, had quickly come around to the idea of Buffy and himself being a couple. The morning his world had turned completely upside down, Xander had pulled him aside as he entered the breakfast room and told him he knew about them and that he hoped they would be happy.

"Yes well Faith is less colourful but tells me to stop asking saying instead that she will be home when she's ready to be" Giles said closing his note book then opening it again to the front page and a postcard saying she missed him from that very same package, his finger tracing her name and the little cross next to it. Memories washed over him of the time he had spent tracking the path the package had taken hoping to get a glimpse of her, checking and re-checking every single piece of footage only to find she had paid a local to deliver it for her.

"Giles! GILES!" Xanders voice brought him back to the present.

"I'm sorry Xander I must be tired" he said closing the notebook.

"No you were in Buffy induced dreamland again" Xander said tartly, "Why haven't you found yourself a nice librarian or something and settled down? Just forget about her already"

Giles smiled fondly at the familiar question, "You already know the answer to that Xander" he said softly.

"'Because I don't want a nice librarian I want her' Yeah yeah, gag me already" Xander parroted mimicking Dawns favourite phrase and they both laughed.

"Well on that note you should get a room ready for Alisa, she should be there soon and by the way she demolished my plate of biscuits I'd make sure she has plenty to eat when she gets there" Giles said turning his chair around and staring at the sun set over the Thames.

"Ah man, I don't wanna know why she's so hungry, I'm not sharing my snacks with her" Xander moaned but Giles knew he was worried about her and would gladly give her anything she asked for.

"From what I can surmise she left with only the clothes on her back, she didn't have a bag with her but she said Phoenix gave her food" Giles told him sadly, "Let me know if she needs anything"

"Will do, I'll see you later or at least speak to you anyway" Xander said then hung up before Giles could say anything. He hadn't said goodbye to anyone in years, not since Buffy had left.

Sighing he hung up then clicked the handset back on so he could phone Willow and inform her of the new Slayer.

"Hey Giles how've you been?" she asked as she picked up the phone and he couldn't help but smile despite the tension that still existed between them over his relationship with Buffy.

"Well, thank you and yourself?" he asked her, standing and staring out of his window again.

"Great actually, we nailed the extra strength location spell today and got a less blurry dot of where Buffy is" she said and he could practically hear her bouncing with excitement.

"Where is she?" he asked his heart skipping a beat as his hand gripped the phone tighter.

"England and that's all we know the blob doesn't get any more specific than that" she said excitedly.

"Well that is certainly an improvement on a blob just covering either the northern or southern hemisphere" he said with a wide smile, clamping down on the disappointment he felt knowing that she was in the same country but hadn't made an effort to seek him out, "thank you Willow"

"Jade is confident that with a few more tweaks and some stronger ingredients we'll be able to narrow it down even further" she said with a little excited squeak, "we're close to finding her finally"

"That is good news, but the reason I called was to tell you that another girl Phoenix Marx sent our way arrived today" he said putting his hand in his pocket as he bounced a little on his feet feeling lighter for the first time in nearly a year.

"Oh right let me just unfold the Phoenix map", she said and he heard draws opening and closing then the rustle of paper, "right ok, ready"

"She was from Siberia but Phoenix found her in Paris running from an abusive home"

"Ah poor girl, she'll be ok with Xander" Willow said confidently as she marked off the new Slayers home on her map, "okay that's twelve from the Russian neck of the woods but so far the concentration of new Slayers that she finds seems to be around Europe and America, why is that?"

"I have no idea, I can only speculate at this point until the final numbers are in and until I can put some research time into it then it will be just an educated guess" he said rubbing the back of his neck as he started to pace, "but it could be that Europe and America is where civilisation migrated toward. It could also just reflect the size of the population on the continents or we may need to look into where their ancestors are from originally and that could take decades"

"Well we'll figure it out eventually" Willow said reassuringly as she folded the map back up, "did this one have any news on the ever evasive and mysterious Phoenix Marx?"

"Only that I'll apparently see her soon" he said leaning against the window frame and looked down at the street below through his telescope while Willow babbled on about who she might be. The crowd was a lot smaller now as people crowded the train platforms instead of the pavements as they made their way home. Giles blinked then looked closer when a woman looked up and quickly back down again.

 _Buffy? No it couldn't be_ he thought as he tuned back into Willow asking him if he wanted a protection circle drawn around the building.

"I don't think that will be necessary Willow" he said kindly, "after all, and I said the same thing to Xander, if she meant any harm then she could have easily sent a demon instead of the hundreds of Slayers"

"True" Willow replied thoughtfully, "Ok well I have to go and help Amber with the dinner or we'll have another revolt on our hands" she said cheerfully.

"Have a good night Willow I'll talk to you soon" he said feeling a little lighter than he had at the start of the phone call.

He looked back down at the street but couldn't find the woman again, still driven by a desperate hope that he would magically find her again he kept looking for a few more minutes. She reminded him so much of Buffy he needed another look to be sure it wasn't her.

He sighed and sat back at his desk, shaking his head and pulling out his only picture of her, staring at it and idly tracing the curve of her jaw. Dawn had dozens of pictures of her but this one was special to him because he had taken it himself after she had showed him how to use the camera that she had bought him a few days before she had vanished.

Smiling he closed his eyes and pictured her as she had taken off that ridiculously fluffy dressing gown the last night they were together. She hadn't been naked like he had thought but instead of being disappointed he had been even more aroused. She had been wearing a bustier in a soft baby blue satin that hugged her curves beautifully, the edible panties had been a very welcome surprise as well.

The sound of Sharon telling him that Phoenix Marx was on her way up snapped him back to reality and he lunged for the intercom on his desk.

"I'm sorry did you just say Phoenix Marx was on her way up?" he asked her not bothering to mask his shock.

"Yes sir I did. Should I stay or will it be alright if I leave now?" she asked bluntly.

"No, uh, you can go home now Sharon, thank you" he said then sat up as he re-buttoned his shirt and fixed his tie, pulling the suit jacket on and brushing a hand through his hair just as a knock sounded on his door.

"Come in" he called out and wiped his hands on his trousers as he stood, suddenly very nervous.

When the door finally opened he collapsed back into his chair.

She stood there in front of him and he could do nothing but blink as he stared at her with what he assumed was a gormless expression on his face. He sat there unable to move as she slowly stepped forward, a smile lighting up her face when his eyes followed her movements.

"Hi Giles" she whispered her voice sounding like the sweetest music to his ears and that was what finally snapped him out of his daze.

He surged out of his chair, lurched around his desk and wrapped her in his arms, lifting her off of her feet in his enthusiasm, "Buffy" he breathed into her hair and tightened his grip when she did.

He felt her whole body relax against him as her hands tightly gripped his jacket over his back. He pushed her back as the tears started to form behind his eyelids and brushed her hair out of her face wanting to get a better look at her. She smiled up at him and he felt something inside of him settle as he took in how utterly at peace she looked.

She was exactly as the Slayers had described her; light brown hair with natural highlights and a slight tan. He could also see the differences between the Buffy he had last seen and the one who was standing before him now. She had gained back some of the weight she had lost over the years he had known her and he could see the strength of the Slayer in every movement. Her eyes, although still guarded, no longer held the ghosts that had followed her since she had come back from the dead and she looked completely at ease with herself and who she was for the first time since he had met her.

"So," he said awkwardly when she gripped his wrists in her hands and settled back onto her heels with a little bounce, "Phoenix Marx I presume"

Buffy laughed wetly and leaned into his hand, "Yeah, that's me, wanna see my drivers licence?"

"Why Buffy? Why did you just disappear? Don't you think I would have understood if you had told me about your plans to leave in search of Slayers?" the questions tumbled out of his mouth in a rush, his voice hardening as the pain of her departure reared it's ugly head. He stepped away from her with a frustrated sigh as he took his glasses off and brushed his hand through his hair.

"All very good questions and I will answer them and any more you no doubt have when I can but first, can I take you to dinner?" she asked stepping forward into his personal space and trailing her fingers over his face, re-familiarising herself with the feel of his skin and the shape of him.

"What?" proud of himself for being able to speak at all as she ran her fingers over his face and chest.

"Dinner, can I take you out for some?" she asked again, smiling when she realised it was because of her he was behaving the way he was.

"Uh, y..yes I should think that would be alright," he said taking a step back from her and noticing for the first time she was wearing a pair of soft, well worn jeans and a tank top with a full length light cardigan over the top. A battered, well used messenger bag hung over her shoulder, the strap cutting between her breasts, "where did you have in mind?"

"Actually I was hoping you knew a place, nowhere fancy though, I haven't unpacked yet not that it matters because I haven't really got any dressy clothes, no need for them on the road" she said with a dismissive shrug.

"Oh, well, uh, there is no shortage of restaurants and little cafes in London, is there anything you fancy?" he asked picking up his briefcase from the floor next to his desk and followed her to his office door, reaching for his coat as she opened it and stepped out into the hall.

"Anything's good to be honest, I haven't eaten since the snack food I ate on the ferry over" she told him as they waited for the elevator to arrive at their floor.

"Aren't you going to ask about Dawn?" he asked her as she looked every where but at him.

 _No need, I already know everything you do_ he heard her voice in his head and he blinked down at her in shock.

"You've been able to do that all this time and you purposely stayed silent?!" he asked letting his calm mask slip just a little at this information.

She sighed and turned to look at him, "Can we eat first, please? We can fight later when it's more private" she said her eyes pleading with him to agree.

She sighed when his expression didn't change and stepped onto the elevator when it arrived, turning to face him when he stayed standing in front of it, "Or do you wanna just fight and get it over with?"

"I just want answers Buffy!" he hissed angrily, his arm shooting out to stop the doors closing, "You've been gone for a year. A year! And all I had, the only way I knew that you were alive, was a small package of trinkets and the occasional rambling letter"

She sighed again and reached out towards him, grabbed the lapels of his jacket and pulled him into the elevator just as the doors started to close again, "Fine I guess we fight first" she said then angrily stabbed the button for the ground floor and stood opposite him with her arms tightly crossed over her chest as the elevator began to move.

"Tell me one thing" he said moving to stand in front of her, forcing her to look at him, "Have you been in contact with Faith all this time?"

She narrowed her eyes at him as she chewed on her lip, staying silent as she thought about the reaction she was going to get when she answered him. Finally she sighed, her arms dropping to her sides, "Yes," she said softly, rushing to tell him the rest when he sagged a little and stumbled away from her, his eyes glazing with a deep sadness, "but only via email and only when one of the girls wanted to go to Cleveland instead of here,"

"Why Buffy?" he asked her, looking at her with such sadness she had to clamp down on the need to hold him, offer comfort, "What did we do that was so bad that you couldn't contact us?"

Her eyes flashed angrily at him, the need to comfort him vanishing the instant he said those words, and she pushed herself away from the wall of the elevator.

"You really have no clue about anything that was going on with me do you" she said angrily, "I have never had the chance to just stop and deal with my own issues. I've only ever had moments where I could just sit and process all the shit that I've been through, that has happened to me, without the Big Bad of the week taking all of my focus. Even that summer after Acathla I had to deal with demons"

She took another step towards him and he backed away, shocked at the anger in her eyes. "Yeah I know I always seemed selfish and self involved, that it was always about me and that I never saw anything outside of my own little bubble but hello! Slayer here. Most of the time it _was_ about me and what I was supposed to be killing. But I did see things. I saw you and Will and Xand, I saw what you all went through being friends with me, the losses, the pain, how could I not? And you know that coz of this bond that we have or you should know" she said her voice changing slightly from the hard, cold anger to a softer, almost pained whisper.

She looked over her shoulder when the doors opened and with one last glare in his direction she stormed out of the elevator and through the lobby. He was frozen to the spot, still seeing the pain in her eyes, unable to force his body to move. He heard the familiar swish of the automatic doors to the lobby and he jumped into action, racing from the elevator in time to see Buffy standing at the curb looking up and down the street for a cab.

Hurrying to catch up to her, he reached her just as she flagged one down and was leaning through the window giving the driver an address. His address. He reached out a hand but she shifted and was opening the door of the cab, leaving it open and looking at him expectantly before he could make contact.

"You coming?" she asked him and he could still hear the anger and pain in her voice even though she was masking it, or trying to at least.

"Well seeing as it's my flat you're taking us too of course I am" he said letting a little of his old snark leak into his voice as he climbed into the cab and sat next to her.

What should have been a fifteen minute journey was made twenty minutes longer by the usual carnage of rush hour and the atmosphere in the cab stayed thick with tension. Communication in the form of glares and eye rolls all that passed between them. Buffy caught the cabbie glancing in his rear view mirror at them a few times with a smirk on his face and threw a glare at him too for being a smug dick causing him to blush and look back at the road in front of him.

Giles meanwhile was reeling from the thoughts he was hearing from Buffy, still shocked that she had kept that line of communication between them closed for the last year. He suspected that she was unaware she had let her guard down and was telegraphing everything she was going over in her head.

He watched the memories she was unaware she was showing him in fascination. The battles she had entered into to save a Slayer, the grief if she lost one, the loneliness she felt as she sat in strange rooms in strange countries, injuries she had stitched and dressed herself, the places she had seen sometimes only because she knew he would like them, dancing in clubs and sitting on beaches watching the sun set or rise. And in every memory was a shadow of him or Dawn hovering at the edge of her consciousness, almost as if she had taken them with her.

When they arrived at his flat she shoved the money through the little window and jumped out before Giles could say a word. He smiled thinly at the driver when he wished him luck as he got out of the cab and sighed as he climbed the steps to the entrance door, his eyes widening in surprise when she keyed in the code and shot through it. By the time he reached his front door she was already inside and he could hear his kitchen taking a beating from an angry Slayer.

"Is there a point in my asking how you knew where I lived or how you knew how to get in?" he asked as he shut the door, hung his coat on the rack and walked down the hall to his living room to deposit his briefcase on his desk.

"No" he heard her say over the sound of a cupboard slamming shut.

Deciding he was better off staying where he was and out of range of the sharp knives in his cutlery draw, he shrugged off his suit coat and draped it over the back of his sofa before leaning against it and waiting for her to come to him.

She silently handed him a mug of tea when she appeared a few minutes later and sat on the sofa behind him still chewing whatever it was she had found to eat in his kitchen.

"So ask" she said after swallowing and sitting back.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

 **Rating: T/M**

Chapter 4

"How did you know where I lived?" he asked her sitting in the armchair opposite her.

"I've always known where you were" she said tapping her head, "next question"

"I don't need to ask anything you laid it out pretty well in the cab" he said caustically, "but you at least owe me a why"

"You really don't get it do you" she said gripping her mug tighter, "if you did or if you had actually read any of my letters then you wouldn't ask me that"

"What is there to understand Buffy? You left my bed in the middle of the night and disappeared leaving a note that barely explained your need to be alone" he said glaring at her and she felt his pain wash over her like a wave of heat, "I had no idea you felt that way"

"Seriously? Ok let me lay it out for you then" she said then stood up, putting her cup down on the coffee table with a little more force than was necessary, and started pacing, "I got ragged on when I lost myself in Riley and the initiative, wanting to separate myself from you guys so you're drama wasn't drowning me, so I didn't have to make sure you guys were alright when I fought and be overwhelmed with guilt if you were hurt. You tell me I had to do it on my own so I tried and got scolded like a child when I did what you said" she rolled her eyes at him when he sighed and held her hand up to stop him from interrupting.

"I got everything dumped on me when Mom died and all of a sudden I was a mother as well as the Slayer, no time to really feel her loss, which was okay I could deal with that but then I died. I was dragged out of Heaven because they couldn't deal without me then I was punished even more by you when you left me to deal with everything by myself. I crawl out of my own grave, traumatised and scared, and I had to take care of everyone because that was what was expected of me. I was disgusting and damaged because I used Spike to feel something, anything, that wasn't the pain that constantly surrounded me, that my friends couldn't or didn't want to see. And then, when I had finally started to heal from the whole dead again thing, you show up. But it's not for me, why would it be, it's for Willow and then you're gone again. I don't hear from you at all until you show up on my doorstep, all the letters I sent you were ignored, and instead of asking if I was alright, instead of holding me and letting me cry or acknowledging what I know you could feel through the bond, you tell me the First is coming and I have to take care of all these girls" she paused her rant and turned to stare at him,

"Other than Xander I was the only one bringing money into the house, did you know that? Did you ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, I would need help? No of course you didn't. I was working, raising Dawn and training the girls. Acclimating a new, traumatized girl every time you dropped one off was always fun especially when they had no clue what was going on. You didn't really help beyond saying 'you must lead them Buffy' or 'you have to train them Buffy' or 'you must do what you must Buffy' and when I did what you told me I had to do I wasn't doing it right and you stood there and let them kick me out of my own house, you put Faith in my place and cast me aside. Did anyone ever apologise to me when it turned out I was right? No they didn't. Once again it was on me to do it all, alone, because despite everything I'd been through for you guys, everything I'd done for you, you didn't trust me."

She took a deep, shuddering breath and dropped back down on the sofa, her head in her hands as she let the tears fall, exhausted after finally letting it all out. Giles had watched her pace, his mouth open in shock as she let go of everything she had been carrying inside. He closed his eyes and mentally kicked himself for not being a better Watcher, a better friend to her, for not seeing her pain. So much time lost due to misunderstandings and miscommunication.

He stood and moved over to her, putting his arm around her and pulling her to him, holding her as she cried, "Why didn't you tell me any of this before?" he asked as he brushed a hand over her hair.

"Would it have made a difference?" she asked pulling away and wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her cardigan, "You'd already told me I had to stand on my own once, I couldn't hear it again"

"That was different" he said, blushing as he remembered his words to her in the back room of the magic box all those years ago.

She snorted and shifted away from him, "No it wasn't but it doesn't matter anymore" she said fiddling with a chain around her neck.

"Why are you moving away from me?" he asked her, noticing she had shuffled further towards the other end of the sofa.

"The bond," she said looking away from him, "even blocked by this I can still feel it when you're near me, touching me makes the pulse stronger" she said pulling her necklace out from under her shirt and showing him the crystal.

"Have your feelings changed?" he asked looking down at his leg as he picked at his trousers, his heart fluttering with apprehension at her answer.

"No," she answered softly, "they haven't. I just don't think it would help anything if I give in and jump you like I want to" she admitted with a blush.

He huffed out a relieved breath and smiled at her, "It might help more than you think" he said reaching for her hand and sighing when he felt the merest stirring from the bond, "Take your necklace off"

She lifted the chain over her head and threw it to the armchair he had vacated. They both gasped when the bond flared to life between them and Giles watched as he saw the desire rise in her eyes. His heart began to beat faster when she stood and slipped off her cardigan.

"You asked for it" she breathed as she straddled his lap and dropped her mouth to his neck.

"I need it" he breathed back, his voice barely above a whisper, "I've missed you more than I can express" he said as his hands came up and cradled her face in his palms.

"Missed you too" she said just as she kissed him.

He didn't notice when she would lay her clothes over the back of the sofa as she removed them instead of just dropping them on floor like he did or when she merely slipped her shoes off and placed them neatly at the end of the sofa before he carried her back to his bedroom. He was too mesmerised by the feel of her, finally having her back in his arms after having been so long without her, to realise that he had completely ignored her outburst.

He gloried in her for hours, reacquainting himself in every way possible with the feel, taste and sound of her. He lay with her when they were sated whispering words of love and comfort as he drifted off with her in his arms, not once realising that she was still shutting part of herself away from him even as she was giving herself to him. Too caught up in having her back with him where she belonged, he missed the thought that she accidentally let slip just as he was losing consciousness, he missed the tears that fell as she held his arms around her.

She knew she'd come back too soon when the sweet reunion had turned into harsh words but she had missed him and it hurt being away from him. Her heart clenched with pain when she slowly slid from his arms and quietly dressed in the dark of the living room. It cracked a little when she wrote she was sorry on a piece of paper, leaving it on top of her notebook filled with the names of Slayers who still had Watchers that the Harbingers had missed and some who wanted to stay with their families and carry on a normal life. It broke completely when she silently slipped from his flat and out onto the street. The cool spring evening air drying the tears on her cheeks as she walked away from him again.

Upstairs in the flat, at the same time she disappeared around the corner at the end of his street, Giles reached across his bed, a sleepy but happy smile on his face, and sat up when he found it empty. He listened for any sign of her in the flat then jumped from his bed, reaching for his robe when he came up against the all too familiar block as he reached out through the bond. He ran from his flat not caring if any of his neighbours saw him. Even though he knew that it was futile, that she could have been gone as soon as his eyes had closed, he still held onto that sliver of hope that she was just out on the street.

That hope shattered and crashed around his feet along with the pieces of his heart when he stood on the pavement looking up and down the street seeing nothing. He stared up at the sky, seeing the stars blinking happily above him, unconcerned with the storm that was raging inside of his soul. The light of the new moon bathing him in it's pale glow, uncaring that his world had fallen apart again.

XXXXXXXXXX

He would follow the same pattern day after day until it became a routine – get up, shower, shave, breakfast, work, gym to pound out his frustrations on a bag then home to drink himself into a fitful slumber on the couch.

It had been two years now without contact for the second time. No one knew if she was okay and only Willow had managed to get him to fess up about Buffys visit at the end of April. But that was only because she refused to leave until he had told her what was wrong.

On the day he had decided to work from home and he was half way through a bottle of his best scotch, he answered his door to find Ethan Rayne standing there.

"What the bloody hell do you want?" he asked angrily, scowling at his old friend.

"Hello Ripper mate, I've come to give you some news" he said walking past him into the house.

He looked around scowling at how dank it looked then strolled over to the picture window and drew the blinds letting the light spill into the room.

Giles shut the door and blinked at the harsh intrusion of light, "What are you doing?"

"Being symbolic" he said sitting in the armchair and crossing his legs, "I've come to bring a little light back into your world"

"What are you talking about?" Giles asked sitting on the couch and picking up his scotch.

"Now, now none of that" Ethan said reaching forward and taking the glass from him, "At least until I've left"

"Why the hell for?" he asked sounding like a petulant child and not caring that he did.

"Because I have something to tell you about a certain Slayer" Ethan said with a smirk as he saw understanding dawn in his old friends eyes.

"You've seen her?" Giles asked his voice an octave higher than it usually was.

"Been working with her for the last year or so, living on the same floor as well and before you get violent," he said holding his hands up when he saw the old Ripper glare, "I'm not in the same apartment, she's next door"

"You know where she is? Tell me!" Giles demanded surging forward on the couch until he was sat on the very edge.

"She doesn't know I'm here, well she knows I'm in England she just doesn't know I planned on visiting you" Ethan said ignoring his outburst and picking imaginary lint off of his jeans.

"How is she? Am I at least allowed to know that?" Giles asked bitterly.

"You have no right to be bitter Rupert" Ethan snapped his eyes flashing angrily.

"Why? She left me, vanished in the night without a trace"

"She was right to" Ethan said calmly, he would be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying this a little.

"How was she? I had done nothing wrong!"

"You didn't listen to her or talk to her about it did you? Even I would have thought you were only after a peek in her drawers after that performance" he said with a shake of his head.

"I didn't think it mattered, I thought listening to her get it all out meant she had dealt with it" Giles muttered mulishly.

"And look at what happened. A few years ago I would have enjoyed it but now..."

"Now, what?"

"When I first saw her, I didn't recognize her, the fight had gone from her eyes. She didn't even threaten me when she strolled in and saw me standing there" he said grinning.

"Strolled in where?" Giles asked slouching against the back of the couch.

"My club, Veritas" Ethan said proudly, "She's a bartender has been for the last year"

Giles snorted, "Veritas? What do you know of truth?"

"Plenty. After the stint in an Initiative prison being prodded and poked I went a tad overboard when I got loose. Now I can't do more than affect a persons emotions and perform a few simple tricks" he said sadly, "I'm somewhat of a jack of all trades and have my fingers in all sorts of pies these days, keeps me sane" he said with an unconcerned shrug.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" Giles asked eyeing him warily.

"What would I possibly gain by lying to you Rip?" Ethan asked with an amused grin.

"What is it you want to tell me?" Giles asked hesitantly.

"First can I...I catch her mumbling to herself sometimes asking you to stop screaming at her, it gives her headaches, what's that about?"

"I didn't think she could hear me" Giles muttered in a whisper, blushing slightly. "I knew, or at least I'd hoped, she had kept that link open between us and I hoped I could get her to communicate that way"

"Right, that explains the winces" Ethan said understanding dawning on his face.

"What have you got to tell me Ethan?" Giles asked warily, not knowing what was coming.

"She's in Florida" Ethan said softly, "I've been keeping an eye on her and making sure she's safe".

Giles looked at his old friend as he spoke and saw the affection for her on his face, "You care about her don't you?"

"Can't get to know her and not care about her. I always have respected her, handled my chaos like a pro in the good old days" he said with a grin, a nostalgic glint in his eyes.

"Why are you helping her and how the bloody hell did you find her when I couldn't?" Giles asked gruffly, Ethans words bringing back memories he preferred to keep buried.

"Bloody Powers that Be that's how, killed the wrong demon and they took my magic away as punishment" he said with an eye roll as he sat back in the chair and crossed his legs, "They sent me in the right direction and put me in her path, all I had to do was wait for her to come to me".

"So this is your penance? Taking care of Buffy" Giles asked him doubtfully.

"I suppose it is"

"You said that she knew you were in England, is there a reason you're here?" Giles asked.

"Dad died," he said flatly, "Got a letter from the family lawyer telling me about the reading of the will and I figured I'd show up and piss off my dear brother" he said with a grin and Giles laughed.

"He always was a bit of a prat" he said the smile on his face growing when his memory took him back.

"A bit of a prat?! The tosser tied me to the flag pole in front of the school for a laugh!" Ethan said with a scowl.

Giles threw back his head and laughed, "Oh God, I'd forgotten about that"

"Wish I bloody could" Ethan grumbled making Giles laugh harder.

"Why are you telling me where she is?" Giles asked after he had stopped laughing.

"She's tired Rupert. I've only ever seen a soul as tired as hers once before and I'm looking at him. I think there's a reason Slayers don't live that long, what they have to do on a nightly basis changes you no matter who you are" he paused and sighed, "She will need you and that's all I'm saying but," he pinned Giles with a glare, "You are not to show up at her door out of the blue"

"Why not?" Giles asked, flushing slightly because he had been planning to do exactly that.

"Because she'll kill me that's why not" Ethan told him with a roll of his eyes, "I'm only telling you so you can stop driving yourself mad with worry, keep the information to yourself and wait for her to contact you"

Giles looked up at Ethan then and nodded once in understanding.

Ethan stood and patted him on the shoulder, "I've got to get to the Lawyers office"

"Make sure she's safe Ethan" Giles said in a voice laced with pain and longing as he reached for his scotch.

"Will do," Ethan said leaving Giles staring out the window. He pulled the front door shut behind himself and grinned, _He is going to stutter his way into a gormless mess when he finds out what she's keeping from him_ he thought as he practically skipped down the stairs to the street.

He looked down at himself and decided he looked scruffy enough to make his brother bust a blood vessel, if only he had his magic he could've really played up the good for nothing layabout his father and brother thought he was. He walked away whistling happily oblivious to the extra shadow that attached itself to his own.

XXXXXXXXXX

It had been two years since Ethan had shown up at his door and told him she was fine. If it hadn't been for him Giles would have sunk to the bottom of a bottle of scotch and stayed there.

It was as if she had fallen into another dimension, no one had seen or heard from her and every location spell failed, not even showing the blob over a hemisphere they had gotten when she had first disappeared. The Slayers she sent to him refused to tell him, or anyone else, anything about her, just that she sent them to him for help.

Now he was sitting in an ICU room in a Florida hospital after a painful shock through the bond told him she was hurt and the frantic phone call from Willow the day before telling him he needed to come before it was too late.

Xander stood from his chair and walked over to the window to lift the blind, "It's still raining" he said to the room behind him, "Does anyone else think that's weird?"

"Yeah, it didn't start until..." Willow said looking over at Giles in the chair beside the bed. He hadn't moved since he had arrived that morning. They were all reluctant to leave despite being in this endless hell of waiting.

"It can't just be because of what happened, can it?" Xander asked softly, sitting back down and glancing between his two friends.

"I don't see how but maybe she's tapped into some power" Willow murmured back, jumping slightly when Giles spoke.

"It could just be a normal rainfall" he said standing and staring out of the window.

"In July, in the middle of a Florida heatwave?" Xander said doubtfully, "Nope, sorry not buying it, even the weather guys on the news are baffled. It's gotta be mystical"

"Has it ever rained before when she was upset? Or stormed when she was angry?" Giles asked them as he turned to face them.

"Well no but that doesn't mean that she isn't causing it now" Willow said and slumped a little in her chair as his logic dismantled her theory.

"If it hasn't happened before then it stands to reason that she isn't causing it now" he said moving back over to his chair, standing behind it and looking over at Willow with tired eyes, "Tell me what happened" he said shoving his hands in his pockets.

Willow looked up at him guiltily knowing how long Buffy had been in America. She didn't think that he had any idea that she had been in contact with Buffy over the last few years.

"Yeah Will," Xander said turning a little in his chair to face her, his eyebrows raised in question, "last I knew she had vanished and then I get a call from you telling me to come here coz she was hurt and needed us, how'd you know?"

Willow blushed as she looked at the floor, twisting her hands in her lap as she tried to organise her thoughts into words. She looked up and saw Giles staring at her with a sad understanding in his eyes, "I'm sorry Giles but she made me swear not to tell you" she said softly, "I didn't know where she was or what she was doing or anything like that but she would phone me sometimes a..and we would talk but whenever I questioned her about why she left, what happened or when she was gonna call you or come back she would hang up"

"It's alright Willow" Giles said with a sigh, "Just tell me what happened".

Willow swallowed and looked over at Buffy, silently apologising to her before she started her tale, "She phoned me about two years ago and we talked about what I was doing, how everyone was stuff like that, nothing about her other than she was fine. Then three days ago, I'm in New York checking in with the Council offices there, and I felt her pain lance through me like an electric shock and then I heard her in my head calling for help, telling me where she was so I jumped on a plane," she paused as she reached over and grabbed the bottle of water she had left on the table over Buffy's bed, swallowing a few mouthfuls before she continued.

"I reached out to her when I landed but I couldn't feel her so I did a locator spell in the bathroom, you know they'd never worked before but I had to try, but it worked straight away. I came straight here and had to practically scream at the people in the emergency room to get them to let me see her then I called you guys when I knew how bad it was" she looked at each of their pale faces apologetically, "I don't know anymore than that I swear"

"Well as long as you swear then I guess it's all alright then" Giles said angrily, glaring at her until he gave a resigned sigh and sat back at Buffy's side, lifting her hand and touching her knuckles to his forehead. He couldn't even keep up the illusion of anger successfully anymore.

Willow sobbed and slumped deeper into her chair when she saw Xander looking just as annoyed with her, "I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you, I did, but she wouldn't let me and she would only call every few months it's not like I spoke to her every day"

"I get it Will but you could have at least, I dunno, said you cast a spell and that's how you knew she was fine" Xander said patting her knee trying to comfort her.

"Why did you call us then if you knew she didn't want us knowing?" Giles asked her, his eyes never leaving Buffy's face.

"Because the doctors said they weren't sure if she was gonna make it and when I saw the stitches in her head and the staples holding her together and the x-rays and was told about the bruising to her spine and the swelling compressing her spinal cord I didn't care what she wanted" she said wiping her eyes with the tissue Xander had given her.

Giles looked at the visible injuries Willow had pointed out and saw that even in the six hours since his arrival they had already healed a considerable amount and he sighed in relief, "She'll be fine given some time Willow" he said smiling kindly at her, "The only mystery that remains is how she got into this state". He was about to confess that he had actually known she was living in Florida when he was interrupted.

"I believe I can answer that question" a voice from the door said.

"Gah!" Xander cried and stood up pulling Willow with him when he saw who was standing in the doorway.

"Ethan?" Giles said his voice taking on a darker edge as he stared at the man who told him he would keep her safe.

"Hello Rip" Ethan said with a cocky grin.

"What's going on?" Giles asked still frozen and unable to decide whether to give him a thrashing or not as he watched Ethan walk into Buffy's room and sit by her side on the bed.

Ethans smile turned sad as he looked at Buffy, "What did I tell you kitten, you should have phoned home" he murmured and took her hand.

"What happened to her and why do you know anything about her? Why aren't you buried in a government facility somewhere" Xander asked warily sitting back in his chair as Willow slapped him away from her.

"She's been staying with me, helping at my club, Veritas, when a few months ago some of the clientele started to disappear or would show up covered in bruises, terrified and asking for help to get out of the city. She started to investigate after I got a few of them talking and they blurted out about a darkness looming" Ethan said looking at Giles speculatively, a mischievous glint in his eye "after poking around for a week or so I suggested calling you and she shut herself up tighter than a Gnarlogs sphincter, what did you do to her?" he asked his eyes flashing with amusement.

"Nothing!" Giles said his head snapping up to pin Ethan with a glare. After a few seconds he sighed, understanding what he was up to, "We argued over her leaving and I realised later that I didn't actually acknowledge what she said to me" Giles said in a murmur, "she left in the night and I never saw her again, until now"

"Wait" Willow said sitting up, "You saw her after she left?"

Giles blushed and cleared his throat, squirming uncomfortably, "Yes, nearly a year after she left the hotel in L.A. a little more than four years ago now"

"Wait I actually knew that, I thought you meant after that" Willow said shrinking down in her chair when she saw Xanders scowl.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Xander asked angrily looking between Giles and Willow.

"Uh kids? Hate to butt in but maybe we could get back to how our lovely Slayer ended up in this bed" Ethan said watching them with a barely concealed smirk on his face.

"You said she was poking around?" Willow asked looking at Giles with a soft understanding. It had taken a while but she had come around to the idea of Buffy and Giles as a couple, seeing how much he hurt after she disappeared had told her that the Watcher really did love her.

"She didn't come up with anything in the area so after about six weeks she started to venture further afield, heading towards the seedier areas of town" Ethan said absently straightening the blanket covering Buffy.

"Jacksonville has seedy areas?" Xander asked sarcastically, his eye widened with mock surprise.

Ethan tutted at him and gave him a grin, "Maybe I should have said the demon controlled neighbourhoods instead but she followed the trail a tad further north than we are, over the border and into Georgia, so I don't know how she ended up here in this hospital, only she can answer that"

Xander nodded at him, "Gotcha, carry on" he said with a wave of his hand and sat back, still annoyed that Giles hadn't told them he had seen Buffy.

"As I was saying," Ethan carried on, "she soon discovered that a clan of Varlets had driven out the local vampire master and were currently involved in a turf war"

"Ah so the Varlets were using your clientele as fuel for their magic" Giles said then closed his eyes on a moan when he realised what had happened to Buffy, "She tried to stop it"

"Got it one Rip" Ethan said with a nod, "she worked the books pretty hard before she went on the offensive though, we both thought she had the right info to get the job done without too much damage or I wouldn't have let her go" he said with a regretful shake of his head.

"How did you know she was here?" Xander asked, "And what the hell are Varlets? They sound like something from Star Wars"

"Varlets are a race of magical demons that use the souls of lesser demons as fuel for their magics," Giles said in a hollow voice, "If they are here and gathering fuel then something dark is indeed looming"

"And I knew our girl was here because one of her nurses is half elf and a regular at my club, she knew who Buffy was and phoned me when she was admitted to the ward" Ethan said then turned back to Giles, "The darkness looming had nothing to do with what the Varlets were doing because she got them all according to what I've heard, it was probably just the threat they posed to the local demons, you know how they like to over exaggerate" he said receiving a relieved nod from Giles. He turned back to Buffy and began to hum a soft tune as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"And it took you two days to get here why?" Xander asked angrily. He was angry at Giles for not telling them he had seen her, at Willow for not telling them she had been speaking to her and at how the guy who had caused nothing but problems for them and had tried to kill Buffy and Giles at least twice was being way overly friendly right now. Most of all he was angry at Buffy for disappearing for the last five years.

"Had to wait for someone to be able to watch Bash, couldn't leave that little tyke on his own he's already upset enough as it is, have you seen the weather?" Ethan said gesturing to the window, "Anyway, Kayla is with him seeing as she isn't working today, she should be able to help calm him down"

"Who's Bash?" three voices asked at the same time.

"Oh crap" Ethan said, his eyes wide with guilt as he looked at each of them.

He was saved from answering when Buffy began to cough and choke around the tube in her throat.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

 **Rating T/M**

Chapter 5

Several hours later, after the chaos of all the nurses and doctors bustling over her performing the necessary tests and examinations, Giles sat at Buffy's bedside, his eyes on Buffy's face as the doctor told her what they had done to save her life and expressed surprise at the speed of her recovery.

"I'm a fast healer doc, always have been" she said in a raspy voice.

Xander, who was standing behind Giles, snorted, "She's not kidding"

"Well despite your remarkable healing you still have a way to go so I'm going to keep you in for at least a week or two or until I'm sure you're free of any serious complications" he said looking down at her chart as he made a note and missed the frown on her face. By the time he looked up her expression had cleared, "I'll see you tomorrow for morning rounds, will you be able to sleep or shall I prescribe a sedative?"

"I'll be fine doc but thanks for the offer" she said with a small smile and although Giles could see the pain behind it he doubted the doctor could.

"If you change your mind just ask the nurse" he said kindly then left the room.

"Ethan are you done in the bathroom yet?" she called then curled around her still painful ribs as a coughing fit consumed her.

"Careful kitten or you'll break those ribs again" he said as he walked back into the room.

"Here Buffy, try to sip some of this" Willow said standing and reaching for the water jug next to Giles. She poured some into a cup and held it for her until she stopped coughing, dropping a straw into it so she could drink it easily.

"Thanks Will" she said as she relaxed back against her pillows, "How'd you know I was here?" she asked avoiding looking directly at Giles.

"Willow" Giles said simply.

"You called for me Buff, remember?" Willow said sitting at her side on the bed.

Buffy frowned as she tried to remember what had happened, her expression clearing as she rolled her eyes, "Oh yeah I remember now, ouch"

"How were you injured so badly Buff?" Xander asked, watching Giles take her hand and play with her fingers.

"That would be the Varlets clan leaders claws that I didn't know could grow to over a foot long almost instantly and the blast of magic it hit me with as it blew me out of a window three stories up. I'm guessing the rib, back and leg damage is coz of the car I landed on" she said groaning as she tried to sit up a little more, "I'm just glad my aims still perfect and if anyone wants to go and get my sword from his head I won't argue" she finished grinning at them. She looked over at Ethan, "Is he safe?"

"As houses, Kayla's with him in the club" Ethan said, smiling as the panic faded from her eyes.

"He likes Kayla" she said with a fond smile.

"Who is Bash Buff? Ethan won't tell us" Xander asked leaning forward over the back of Giles' chair.

"Nobody, it doesn't matter" she said and Giles caught the lie through the bond and frowned but before he could open his mouth she sat up and reached for Ethan, "Ready to smuggle me out?"

"Let's just keep you here for now and I'll smuggle you out tomorrow night after I get you some of that healing potion from the fairies that helped so well last time" Ethan said sternly, gently pushing her back down, "I already have them working on a batch".

"You know fairies?" Willow asked surprised.

"What healing potion?" Giles asked sitting up, his eyebrows trying to meet his hairline in surprise at Ethans actions.

"Yes and it's a simple potion that enhances a persons natural healing ability helping them heal faster" Ethan said replying to both of them as he fussed over Buffy, tutting and shaking his head when she scowled and tried batting his hands away.

"How did you two meet?" Xander asked sitting down in the chair next to Giles, his curiosity still piqued about the mysterious Bash but willing to shift it to something else for now.

"I applied for a job at his club a few years ago" Buffy said, smiling up at him, "as soon as I saw him he hired me on the spot and gave me one of the apartments above it"

"She doubles as a bouncer too, saves me some cash I can tell ya" Ethan said with a grin, "once the clientele figured out she was the Slayer they don't even use bad language"

Their laughter stopped when Buffy yawned. Willow stood and gathered her things, "I think that's our cue to leave" she said bending at the waist and laying her cheek against Buffy's as she gave her an awkward hug, "We'll see you tomorrow afternoon when we mere visitors are allowed to visit if that's ok Buff"

"If Ethan gets that potion then I'll be at home" she said looking at everyone but Giles, "He'll let you know"

"Any of you fine people want to join me for a drink?" Ethan asked as he stood and straightened his shirt, "It's on me of course"

"Those are the magic words I like to hear" Xander said dropping a kiss on Buffy's cheek, "Any chance food is part of that?"

"Of course" Ethan said holding the door for them as they passed him, "I know the best little Italian restaurant a few blocks from the club, their calzones are to die for".

"Then you are my newest bestest bud" Xander crowed happily, "but if you try anything then I will be forced to smack you" he said, Willow's laughter fading as they moved further away from her room.

"You go too Giles" Buffy said gently, addressing him directly for the first time since she opened her eyes.

Giles shook his head and glared at her, "I'm not leaving you Buffy" he said stubbornly.

"Just go, I'm not going anywhere" she said glaring right back at him,

"Do you not want me here?" he asked quietly, clasping his hands in his lap as he looked out of the window, not wanting to see the expression on her face.

"Don't be childish Giles" she snapped and he whipped his head around in surprise at her words, "I'm tired and everything hurts and you being here is pointless because I'm about three seconds away from falling asleep" she mumbled tiredly, her last word almost obscured by a huge yawn.

Giles sighed and stood, leaning over and brushing the backs of his fingers over her cheek. He was unable to stop his smile when she closed her eyes at his touch, his heart leaping at the pulse from the bond, "I'll be back tomorrow morning to help Ethan smuggle you out"

"Ok" she said smiling at him as she closed her eyes. He frowned when he felt a spike of guilt from her but didn't want to rouse her from her slumber to ask what it was about.

He left her room and caught up with the others who were waiting for the elevator. He ignored the curious glances from Xander and Willow and the knowing grin from Ethan as he stood with his hands in his pockets listening to the contented hum from the bond as Buffy slept.

XXXXXXXXXX

Giles stood at the door to Buffy's hospital room the next morning, leaning casually against the door frame, trying to stifle a laugh at her grumbling as the nurse checked the cannula in her hand. After a muddled few minutes when he first woke in his hotel room that morning, he had rushed over here in a daze, not willing to believe he wasn't still dreaming until he saw her for himself.

"Good morning" he said cheerfully, grinning at her eye roll and struggling to not show just how relieved he was that she was really in front of him.

"Says you" she grumbled, "You're not the one getting prodded and poked"

"Is she always this cheerful?" the nurse asked frowning down at her contrary patient.

"Only when she's in hospital" Giles said taking a step into the room, his hands behind his back.

"Hmph" the nurse huffed as she left shaking her head.

"Honestly Buffy you've got a few more hours at most to deal with this, can't you do it gracefully?" he asked standing next to her bed and looking down at her with a fond smile.

"Really can't" she said dropping her head back against her pillows "I wanna go home" she mumbled.

"Ah, well perhaps this will brighten your mood" he said bringing his hands out from behind his back and biting his tongue on the questions that surged within him at her words.

She looked up at him then down at his hands and laughed, "You went to Denny's?" she asked in disbelief as she opened the paper sack and pulled out two large Styrofoam containers.

Giles pulled a chair over to her bed and watched her open them, smiling contentedly at the bliss on her face as she moaned in delight, "I happen to like their version of an English breakfast I'll have you know".

"I know you're the Watcher an all but do you have to watch me eat my weight in scrambled eggs and sausage?" she asked looking at him from the corner of her eye as she shovelled another forkful of food into her mouth.

"Don't forget the bacon and pancakes" Giles added with a chuckle.

"Oh don't worry I haven't" she said seriously as she opened the other container and poured the little pot of maple syrup over the pancakes, "Are we gonna fight again? Is that why you brought me breakfast, hoping to soften me up"

He frowned at her, "I certainly hope we won't be arguing love" he said as he crossed his legs and stared at her, an unreadable expression on his face, the hum of white noise all she could read through the bond, "after all I wouldn't like to wake up in the middle of the night and find you gone again"

The food in Buffy's mouth felt like a chunk of brick as she swallowed it and she looked at her tray, still holding the mostly half full containers of food, suddenly not as hungry as she had been thirty seconds ago.

She sighed and dropped the plastic cutlery on top of the eggs and pushed her tray away, "Guess I deserved that" she mumbled, using one of the napkins to wipe her hands and mouth, "How's your girlfriend?"

Giles' head snapped up and stared at her in shock, "What?"

She gave him a small smile before returning her attention to the napkin she was now ripping up in her hands, "I never left England that night, didn't leave until just over a year later actually, and I came back to your place a few months after that night to tell you something, to try talking again, and I saw you leaving with a woman, didn't really wanna stick around for a show" she looked over at him with tears in her eyes, "I guess my messed up head screwed me real good didn't it" she said with a soggy chuckle.

"You never…you came back!?" Giles asked in shock, shaking his head and blinking rapidly when what else she had said registered. "That wasn't a girlfriend Buffy, that was my cousin. She was asking if she could take her fathers place in the new Watchers council as our new mystical antiquities director" he sat forward and covered both her hands with one of his, placing a finger under her chin and forcing her to look at him, "Why did you stay in England if you weren't going to come back to me?"

"I hadn't planned to," she said in a whisper, her thumbs coming up to grip his hand, not bothering to hide the slight tremor that rippled through her at his touch "but I couldn't leave, didn't want to leave until..." she trailed off with a sigh, looking down at their now joined hands.

"Until what love?" he asked her gently.

She looked up at him and opened her mouth to answer, her eyes and the bond telegraphing guilt and practically begging for forgiveness, when an amused voice from the doorway stopped her.

"Am I interrupting?" Ethan asked with a chuckle and Buffy rolled her eyes, sitting back with a sigh as Giles stood and walked over to the window, running his hand through his hair with a frustrated sigh.

"Yes, do you have the potion?" Buffy asked glaring at him.

"Not ready yet" Ethan said with a shake of his head, "But I did bring something that would cheer you up" he said with a calculating smirk then stepped to the side and let a little boy run into the room.

"Mummy!" he cried clambering up onto the bed and into her arms.

"Bash, sweetie!" Buffy crowed happily, tugging him closer and ignoring the flash of pain from her side and back as he tightened his arms around her neck.

Giles stared in disbelief at the child in her arms, feeling her happiness through the bond and the spike of pain as the child tightened his arms around her, "Buffy, you're hurting love" he said stepping forward.

"Mummy hurts?" Bash asked sitting back on her legs then scuttling off the bed when she couldn't hold back the shout of pain, "Sorry Mummy" he mumbled his eyes rapidly filling with tears as he clutched Ethans leg.

He watched the big man run a damp cloth over her head and hold a cup of water to her lips, not hearing the words the big man was whispering to her but feeling him the same way he could feel his Mummy. He concentrated on that feeling and realised he could hear him in his head the same way too, even if he didn't understand a word he was thinking. Then he recognised the man from the pictures he had seen in his Mummy's room, the one she had pointed to and told him was his Daddy.

"You're my Daddy" he said, stepping out from behind Ethans leg and smiling when the man turned and stared at him in surprised shock.

"What?!" Giles said as he dropped into the chair behind him with a thud.

Buffy smiled at Bash and patted the bed, "Bash c'mon sweetie, it's ok".

Bash eagerly climbed up onto the bed and carefully sat next to her, gripping her hand tightly when she kissed his head.

Giles looked at her curiously, his mind a maelstrom of emotions with surprise, shock and confusion all jockeying for first place. He bit his tongue to prevent the slew of questions that threatened to spill from his lips and waited for her to speak.

"Giles, this is Sebastian" she said with a tender smile at the boy. Looking over at him he saw a wealth of apologies and a desperation for forgiveness in her eyes, "he's your son"

He blinked at her slowly, "I'm sorry would you mind repeating that?" he asked her, his voice rising in pitch with each word.

"He's your son" she repeated dutifully, biting her lip as she watched him bury his head in his hands.

She felt Bash tug at her hand and looked down at him to find he was looking up at her, his eyebrows raised in question, "I don't know, maybe you should just go back to the club with Ethan for now" she said softly, rubbing his hand in comfort and looking over at Ethan who was standing just outside her room, trying to give them some privacy.

They both jumped a little when Giles' head shot up and he stared at them with wide eyes, his fear and confusion obvious.

"No! Don't leave I..."

"Giles it's fine you can digest the news and see him tomorrow, we're not going anywhere" she said gently, nudging Bash off the bed towards the chair in the corner while she twisted a little at the waist to face Giles and gripped his arm, "I promise you I won't disappear again"

"He's my son?" he asked her in a whisper, his eyes wide as he watched her face for any sign that she was lying to him.

"I'm not lying to you Giles," hurt flashing in her eyes, "see for yourself" she said then took his hand and dropped the barrier she had learned to erect after Bash was born.

As soon as he had her hand gripped in his he could feel her completely through the bond again. Everything was open to him and he saw the truth of his paternity before he felt her pulling her hand from his.

"What, uh, why are you taking it back?"he asked unable to stop the slight whine in his voice.

Bash laughed and Giles turned in his direction in time to see Buffy in his smile, "Mummy does that to me" he said in a soft voice.

"And for good reason Bash" she said sternly, smiling when he dipped his head and gave her a look that reminded her of Giles.

"See," she said turning back to him, "who knew that look was genetic"

"Very funny" Giles said then pushed himself to his feet feeling the need to move, "How old is he?" he asked his gaze flickering between the child in the chair and Buffy.

"Bash? Would you like to tell him how old you are?" she asked him, her eyebrows raised as he looked back at her with an innocent expression.

If Giles hadn't been watching her so closely he would have missed the subtle shake of her head, "Are you telepathic?" he asked suddenly startling her a little.

"No" Sebastian answered, sliding off the chair and solemnly standing in front of him. He was silent for a few seconds then his face scrunched up in confusion, "What's telepafic?".

Giles smiled softly down at him, amazed at how well spoken he was, before dropping to a knee in front of him, "It means you can talk to another persons mind with your own" he said.

Bash looked at him and shook his head "Only works with Mummy" _and you_ he continued silently making Giles jump a little in shock.

"I see and do you know why that is?" he asked him, stifling a grin as he watched Sebastians face tense up in concentration.

"No sir" he said a faintly annoyed expression now adorning his cherubic little face.

"You don't have to call me sir Sebastian" Giles said with a kind smile as he reached out and tucked a light brown curl behind his ear.

"I know, you my Daddy" he said shyly inching his way closer to Buffy who reached forward and pulled him up onto the bed next to her. Hissing air through her teeth as she pulled on the stitches in the wound over her ribs, she wrapped her arms around his waist and gave him a little squeeze "you don't havta call me Sebastian ya know"

Giles' smile widened as he shifted and sat on the chair, "Oh and what is your proper name then?" he asked him sharing a grin with Buffy when the boy huffed in annoyance.

"My name Sebastian Ryder Summers" he said looking at the floor "but I like Bash"

"So you're a revered knight are you" Giles said tilting his head up with a gentle pressure of his finger on his chin.

"S'pose so" he said looking confused.

"Giles don't," Buffy admonished with a fond smile, "he's not gonna know what his names mean is he"

"I suppose you're right," he said with a frown, "Summers?" he asked her and she sighed, her eyes turning sad as she looked back at him.

"I had to, it would have made travelling harder if I had to prove he was mine at every airport or border crossing" she said regretfully.

"I understand" he said looking back at his son. His son! It was still taking it's time sinking in.

"When is your birthday Bash?" he asked him gently not wanting to make the boy feel any more uncomfortable.

"February 26th" he said with a smile, "I'm three" he told him happily.

Giles looked up at Buffy with wide eyes as the date on the postcard he had received from her finally made sense, "You were telling me about his birth" he said understanding colouring his features.

She nodded with a little sad smile, "I couldn't tell you about him without having to tell you where I was and I wasn't ready for that yet but I couldn't not tell you you know so I sent the postcard" she babbled, frowning as she repeated what she had said in her head then shook her head and waved a hand in the air dismissing it, "you know what I mean"

"So you were in Kent when you gave birth…Cailey showed up around the same time that card did and she always seemed like she was hiding something from me" he said as the pieces finally started to click into place. Her pregnancy, and then Bash, was what the few Slayers she had sent to him that year had been hiding, "You asked them to keep your condition to themselves didn't you?"

"Yeah," she said leaning away from Bash, giving him a little push out from between her legs and then pulled him to sit next to her, straightening her leg slowly and gritting her teeth against the pain, "Cailey actually helped me give birth after I helped her fight off at least four vamps hell bent on eating her for breakfast. She helped me to her house and I had him a few hours later. I asked her to post that card a couple of days before she made her way to you," she looked up at him with a smile, "her neighbour actually looked after us until I was recovered enough to get to a hospital for a check up and to register him."

Giles didn't know whether to be awed or horrified that she was still fighting that far into her pregnancy but thought it was better if he didn't say anything about it. Instead he cleared his throat to ask a different question but just before he was about to speak he heard Dawn call out from the hallway.

"Where is she? What did you do to her?" she asked, her footfalls coming to a sudden stop outside Buffy's room.

"You must be Dawn" they heard Ethan say.

Buffy nudged Bash off of the bed and silently told him to sit quietly on the floor behind Giles with his game. She looked up at the door just as Dawn walked through it.

"Dawn" Buffy said in a hushed voice as her eyes hungrily took in every detail of her sisters face. She flinched back when Dawn took a step forward and slapped her, her mouth set in a hard line.

"NO!" Bash screamed and jumped up from behind Giles, his game clattering to the floor "Don't hit my Mummy!" he shouted and pointed at Dawn.

Giles felt the tingle of magic and his eyes widened in surprise when he felt just how much power Bash had.

Buffy whirled on him and held her own hand out, "Nunc Somnum" she cried, pointing at Bash whose eyes rolled back and he collapsed without a sound, Giles catching him before he could hit his head. He held him while Buffy shifted painfully off of the bed and awkwardly stood in front of Dawn, who had frozen with a shocked expression on her face, and said "Removes Magicae" as she waved her hand in front of her face.

Dawn let out a gasp as she dropped to the floor, "Are you ok?" Buffy asked her as she sat back on the bed with a relieved sigh, giving Ethan a grateful smile when he helped Dawn to her feet.

"I think so" she said rubbing the back of her neck, "What the hell was that? Who the hell is he? And where the fuck have you been for the last five years?" Dawn asked her angrily as she stared down at her in the bed with Bash cradled on her lap.

"That was what I call wild magic, he doesn't know how to control it yet. He is my son, Sebastian. And the better question is where haven't I been" Buffy said in a low voice as she rocked him while gently stroking the hair away from his forehead, ignoring her own pain.

"When did you have a kid? When did you show up? What the hell Giles?" Dawn asked her voice rising until she was shouting at them.

"I shouldn't have called out to Will," Giles heard Buffy mumble as she pressed her lips to Bash's forehead.

"Dawn enough!" Giles bit off, cutting off another tirade before she could start, "Go down to the cafeteria and calm down"

"What! She shows up again after pulling a Houdini for five years and I'm not allowed to have feelings about it?" she asked him incredulously, staring at him with wide eyes, "Why does she get a free pass?"

"Because she isn't currently standing in a hospital room acting like a bratty teenager!" he hissed angrily back at her, standing so suddenly he made Buffy jump, "Buffy hasn't told me why yet, the matter of our son was more important than where she has been or why she left"

"Your son!" she cried in shock then looked down at Buffy, "His son! When did that happen?"

"I came back about a year after I left and saw Giles, we argued then we re-connected then I left again," Buffy said brushing her fingers through Bash's hair, "I stayed in England through the pregnancy until he was about six months old then I came to America to find answers about Bash, he's special you see"

"And that's where I came in" Ethan said coming into the room holding a tray of drinks, "She applied for the bartenders position at the club and had this little tyke in a stroller. She hummed to him when he started to fuss and the girl I was seeing at the time caught a flash of potential"

Buffy smiled at the memory, "He shocked me into silence" she said rolling her eyes at Giles' chuckle, "and Bash started to fuss even more. Ethan bent down and picked him up, as soon as he had him settled in his arms Bash opened his eyes and giggled at him"

"Wait" Dawn said, her face screwed up in confusion, "You and Giles! When did that happen?"

Buffy started to giggle along with Giles, laughing harder when she saw Dawns baffled expression.

Giles watched Buffy cradling Bash and felt something tear in his chest. He had missed everything. When Bash started to wake Buffy told Dawn to wait outside for a minute then explained to Bash who had hit her.

"No hit Mummy" he said laying his head on her shoulder and stroking her neck.

"No that's right but she's my baby sister and she was angry at me and when sisters fight they hit or shove, it doesn't mean it's okay but that's just what happens sometimes" Buffy told him gently, brushing her fingers through his hair, "Would you like to meet your Aunty Dawn properly?"

Bash nodded and looked over at the door when Dawn walked through it, "I sorry" he said gingerly sitting up on Buffys lap.

"It's alright Bash you were defending your Mom" Dawn said kindly sitting in the chair in front of him, "Can I have a hug?" she asked holding her hands out, smiling happily when Bash slid off his mothers lap and onto hers.

"I can't feel you" he said looking at her with a confused frown on his face.

"Huh?" Dawn said with a baffled look at Buffy.

"He can feel and hear me the same way Giles and I can with each other" she explained.

"Can he really?" Giles asked sitting up in surprise.

"Yeah that's why I learned to put up a block and why you might wanna start doing it" she said looking at him with a wary expression.

"So you Mummy's baby sister?" he heard Bash ask Dawn.

"Yep" she told him giving him a little tickle.

Bash looked over at Buffy with a thoughtful look on his face, "Mummy? Can I have a baby sister?" he asked and Buffy just looked at him in shock, a blush rising on her cheeks, "I'd like a baby sister to play with".

"Oh dear lord" Giles muttered burying his head in his hands as Dawn started to giggle and Ethan sat back in his chair and wiggled his eyebrows at Buffy with a wide grin on his face.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

 **Rating T/M**

Chapter 6

Giles volunteered to be the one to take her home from the hospital that night. The fairies potion did its job perfectly and what little injuries remained the doctor agreed that she could heal just as well at home. Kayla, the half elf nurse, had performed a little magic with Willow on her records and the hospital staff ensuring that her stay didn't raise any eyebrows or bring any unwanted attention.

They borrowed Ethans car so Bash could be safely strapped into his car seat. Once he had parked outside her building, Giles lifted Bash from his seat and followed as Buffy lead the way up to her apartment.

She had nervously glanced at Giles every so often out of the corner of her eye in the car. After his bark of laughter in the elevator and his farewell to Dawn, Willow and Xander as they had walked in the opposite direction with Ethan, he had lapsed into a thoughtful silence which she knew would lead to her having to answer his questions in a very long conversation.

She unlocked her front door and dropped the keys and her bag on the table behind the couch, "Bash's room is through that door" she said pointing at the ahead and slightly to the right, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence between them, "Just lay him on his bed and take off his shoes, he'll be fine like that"

"What will you be doing?" Giles asked her as he stepped forward to follow her as she started to walk down the short hallway.

Buffy paused outside her bedroom door, "Changing into something a little more comfortable," she said looking down at the scrubs she had worn home, her clothes ruined in the fight and then cut off by the doctors, "I have a feeling this is going to be a long night" she said with a timid smile before slipping inside, the door shutting behind her with a soft click.

Giles stood staring at the door for a few seconds before turning and taking Bash into his room. After laying him on his bed and taking his shoes off, he retrieved the blanket that was thrown over the rocking chair in the corner and settled it over the sleeping form of his son, tucking the stuffed dog that was on his pillow under his arm. He gently brushed the hair away from his forehead then stood and looked around his room.

It was bright and cheerful, pictures of his own artwork on the walls and an assortment of posters showing the times tables, various animals and what he assumed were TV characters and the alphabet. He turned to see a bureau for clothes, a desk and a bookcase overflowing with books of all shapes and sizes with toy trucks along the bottom shelf and stuffed animals and a few smaller toys scattered throughout the rest of the shelves. A toy box crammed so full of toys that the lid wasn't able to shut sat at the foot of his bed.

There was a small CD player with a few CD's piled next to it on top of the bureau along with a picture of Buffy holding Bash with one arm, the other extended out towards the camera, a smile on both their faces. On the surface of the desk, along with a few work books for Maths and English that lay neatly stacked next to a pencil case, was a small lamp and a handful of small model planes and cars. Smiling he picked up the Spitfire and turned it over in his hands.

"He chose those all on his own" he heard Buffy say from the doorway and he turned to look at her. She was now wearing a pair of loose navy blue pyjama pants and a white tank top, her hair tied up in a messy pile on top of her head. "He said that he wanted them because his Daddy liked them" she said with a smirk then turned and walked away leaving him staring at the empty doorway in surprise.

He shook off his daze when he heard a microwave shutting and the clatter of metal on the stove echoing through the silent flat. He put the plane back with the others in it's fleet and walked out of the room, watching Bash turn over onto his stomach as he pulled the door too.

When he reached the kitchen Buffy was laying out two plates on the counter while a kettle heated on the stove, two mugs with strings hanging over the rims were sitting next to it waiting to be filled. He walked back into the living room and leaned against the counter, not able to help the smile that came as he watched her potter about the kitchen.

"I hope you still like lasagne" she said as she pulled open a drawer and removed two forks, "It's all I have in the fridge" she said laying the forks on the plates, "I figured you haven't had the chance to eat yet"

"When did you manage to make a lasagne?" he asked her with a smirk on his face.

Buffy looked up at him and laughed, "Me, cook? Please, like I've had time" she said before the microwave beeped, "Ethan did it for dinner a few days ago, made me sit and eat some before I left to find those Varlets" she said as she pulled out the plastic tub containing the lasagne and put it between the plates on the side.

"Ethan is a friend now?" Giles asked as the kettle whistled. She bit back a laugh at his question, she didn't need to be able to feel him through the bond or even look at him to know that he was frowning with a mixture of confusion and curiosity, his eyes flashing with a touch of jealousy and a little disappointment. She smiled and let a giggle escape when she turned and saw exactly that.

"Well yeah, for the last couple of years he's gone way overboard with the caring uncle bit," she said pouring the water into the mugs, "Might have something to do with Bash wrapping him around his finger"

"Yes I did see that they had a bond" he said taking the mug she handed him, "How did he manage to earn your trust? And have you fought many demons around Bash? Is that wise considering his obvious power, which you will tell me about at some point?"

She smiled at him while handing him a plate after adding some salad, "Relax Giles it's okay, he's a good guy now and not the same annoying troll he was in Sunnydale, Bash was in no danger at any time over the last three years and yes I will tell you everything that has happened from the moment I left your bed, both times, until you came to the hospital" she said picking up her own mug and plate, walking past him out of the kitchen and into the living room.

Shaking his head in disbelief he followed her and sat next to her on the sofa, putting their mugs on the coffee table. They ate steadily and in silence until their plates were empty.

"So, what do you want to know?" She asked him, tucking her feet under her as she cupped her hands around her mug, letting the residual warmth warm her hands, staring into it as she waited for his answer.

"Start from the beginning, from the first time you left" he said softly leaning back on the chair, watching her eyes dart up to his nervously before she looked back down again.

She nodded and proceeded to tell him everything, sticking to the basics and trying not to go into too much detail.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Buffy paused as she left the hotel, her backpack on the floor at her feet while she settled her messenger bag securely across her body. She looked up at the windows of the floor Giles' room was on and sighed,

"Can you give him something for me?" she asked without looking away.

"Sure" Faith said stepping out from the shadows next to the front entrance.

Buffy looked down and slid her hand under the flap and into the front pocket of the bag and withdrew a crisp white envelope with the hotels emblem stamped in the bottom right corner, "Shit is really gonna kick off when they realise I'm gone. Giles will probably get angry and go full Ripper on you, are you going to be alright dealing with that?"

Faith took the envelope and tucked it in her back pocket, "It'll be cool B" she said watching as she removed a leather thong necklace with a crystal hanging from it out of her pocket.

Buffy put it on and smiled sadly at her, "Five by five right Faith"

Faith grinned at her, her eyes flashing with amusement, "You know it" she said with a wink, "Do you know where you're heading?"

"No specifics in mind but I might head south then work my way over then back up" Buffy said hefting the backpack up onto her shoulders. She dipped her hand in the front pocket of her jeans and pulled out a folded piece of paper, "It's my email, totally untraceable apparently so you can tell me when you get settled in Cleveland, I'm gonna need to know where to send the girls I find"

"Is that part of the plan then, hunting for Slayers?" Faith asked tucking the paper into her bra.

"No" Buffy said looking toward the horizon, "No, this whole deal is a need to heal, to recharge, any girls I find will just be a happy bonus"

"Safe journey B" Faith said and pulled her into a hug.

Buffy froze, shocked at the display of affection then held onto her tightly for a few seconds before pulling back and walking away, shrugging the backpack on more comfortably and wiping the tears from her face as they fell.

She never looked back and for the next couple of months she travelled her way down through California to Mexico and into South America. She had seven girls travelling with her before she got the email from Faith telling her where they were staying in Cleveland. She also told her where Giles and the others were but left it at that.

Buffy smiled as she read it through again, memorising the addresses and numbers before deleting it and signing out of her account. Even though she was desperate for news on them the no sentimentality thing Faith was fond of was good for her right now.

She had bought the tickets and organised the fake passports for the girls when she found another one fighting for her life on her way back from picking them up. She managed to kill the two vampires but was too late to save her.

She carried on moving, zig zagging across the states in coaches or trains and following her instincts for where to go, sometimes travelling through three states before feeling a need to stop. When she finally made it to England she had to fight the urge to follow the bonds faint, but still insistent, pull. She knew where Giles was living with Dawn and where she was going to school, she knew where Xander and Willow were but she stayed away, she had to or she wouldn't be able to leave again. Instead she stayed away from London completely and headed straight to Dover.

When she set foot on mainland Europe she was overwhelmed by the urge to hunt but strangely enough not for Vampires and within two days had found sixteen new Slayers in Paris alone, by the end of the week she had sent forty five girls to Giles in London and she had only made it down the west coast of France and into Northern Spain. Things slowed down after that and she played at being a tourist for a while, spending time on the beach, buying useless crap from the touristy spots and finally being able to think.

She made her way to Greece, another forty Slayers safely on their way to London. Whistlers contacts having proved more than useful in arranging fast, comfortable transport for her in every country not to mention the contacts for the passports and ID's. She had worked her way through Asia and Russia, sending another thirteen girls to Giles, before feeling a need to head to Paris which was where she had found Alisa. And it was also when she decided that she needed to see Giles again.

She had cried for what felt like a week after she had left him for the second time, travelling up and down the UK, catching a quick glimpse of Dawn at school before heading to Scotland where she had found Fiona and Sarah.

When she found out she was pregnant her plans to leave for the states changed, her need to have Giles' child in his country was too strong to ignore. She didn't question it, she just followed her instincts like she'd been doing since she had started out.

The day she had Bash she had been on a train or a bus or just walking, searching for yet another girl, and had felt the tightening in her stomach all day when she had come across Cailey. She dusted the vamps trying to make her breakfast easily enough but a contraction had her collapsing to her knees and Cailey had dragged her up and helped her back to her flat.

Once Bash was born she waited until he was six months old before booking a flight back to America, randomly choosing Florida by throwing a knife at a map.

He had been a very content baby and had rarely cried. She noticed that he was advanced, beyond what the baby books said he should be, and that he would look at her like he understood every word she said to him. He was walking by the time he was ten months old and was talking clearly and swimming like a fish by the time he was two. After a demon had stumbled across them while they were on the beach one evening and he had made it fly away she decided that it was time to find out more about his power.

When Buffy finished telling the abridged version of the last five years she looked up to see that Giles was staring at the floor in silence.

Not wanting to rush him she stood up and took their empty plates back into the kitchen leaving Giles to his thoughts. After she washed up, she opened the bottle of wine and walked back to the living room with two glasses. Giles had moved from the sofa and was now standing at the sliding doors leading to the balcony.

"Say something Giles" she said, putting the bottle and the glasses on the coffee table. She sat on the sofa, folding her legs up under her as she watched him turn to face her, his expression unreadable.

"What would you like me to say?" he asked her softly sliding his hands in his pockets.

"I don't know, anything would be good at this point" she said with a shrug as she twisted her hands in her lap, "but if you need to leave, take some time with this, I'll understand".

"Did you make it a habit fighting so far into your pregnancy?" he asked her, the worry from earlier still bothering him.

"Only if it was necessary, I got quite big with him and it affected my balance" she replied watching his face as he took in her answer.

"Did it occur to you to stop until after you had him?" he asked her, removing his hands from his pockets as he took a step towards her.

"Yeah it did but I still..." she stopped and looked behind her with a concerned look on her face.

"What is it?" Giles asked stepping forward as she jumped up.

"It's Bash, I thought I caught a glimpse of a nightmare that he has every now and then" she said as she walked towards the hall.

Giles started to follow but stopped when he saw a very clear image of Buffy being lifted into the air by a demon flash across his vision. He watched in horror as it bent its head to her waist and bit down, pulling back when she punched it in the head, gripping her arm in one massive claw squeezing until she screamed.

Buffy turned back to him when she heard his strangled cry, saw the look of horror on his face then turned and fled to Bash's room. Pushing the door open she hurried to his side as he thrashed around on the bed, whimpering in fear.

"Ssh baby, it's ok" she murmured brushing his hair back from his face. She hummed as she comforted him and eventually he calmed down, falling back into a deeper slumber.

She slowly got up from his bed, still humming the same lullaby, and quietly left his room. She padded back down the hallway, a little reluctant to face Giles knowing that he must have seen what had really happened with the demon on the beach.

She paused outside the front room and lifted her hand to her side where she still felt the echo of pain from the demons bite, her wounds having healed perfectly as they usually did with only a faint scar as proof it had happened at all.

Taking a deep breath she stepped through the door and immediately found herself pinned to the wall as Giles lifted her shirt and dropped his head to look for himself,

"It was a memory Giles. If you wanted to see for yourself all you had to do was ask, you don't have to manhandle me" she said shoving him back and pulling her shirt back down.

"You were seriously injured and alone with a two year old," he said his face paling as the truth of that sunk in, "You could have died Buffy, what would have I done then?" he asked her gripping her head in his hands.

She looked up at him as she gripped his wrists and pulled his hands away from her head, "Wasn't the first or last time I had to stitch myself up Giles, or this time have Ethan do it, it's just how it was" she said walking away from him, "and you have other Slayers to teach, a whole organisation to run and you would have had Bash" she said staring at him as she sat down.

"What do you mean I would have had Bash?" he asked shocked at the emotionless, business like tone of voice she was using.

"After that day I carried two letters with me, one for the doctors so they knew how to contact you and whenever I picked up a new girl I would tell her that she was to take him with her to you with the other letter if anything happened to me" she said picking up the bottle and pouring herself some wine, sitting back with the glass in her hand.

"I'm glad you had a plan in place Buffy," he said sitting next to her on the sofa, "but you still haven't told me what I would have done without you"

She sighed and put the glass back on the coffee table, "You would have carried on like you had been" she said calmly, proud of herself for not letting her voice shake.

Giles clenched his jaw, biting his tongue on his response and walked back towards the balcony, "Who taught you the spell you used on Bash today?" he asked instead.

"Ethan" she said simply.

"Why? He isn't usually so altruistic, what did you have to do for that information?" he asked narrowing his eyes suspiciously when she looked over his shoulder into the darkness beyond the sliding doors, a wistful expression in her eyes.

"Believe it or not he didn't want anything," she said looking back at him with a slight shrug of her shoulders at his disbelieving scoff.

"It is a little difficult to believe" he said, smiling when she chuckled, "Why did you decide to work for him?"

"At first I was like hell no and started to leave but he started talking, Bash fussed and, well you know the rest," she said with a shrug, "after that we talked, he even apologised for most of the stuff he did, I dunno I think he just wanted to connect to someone familiar ya know"

"And that was it, nothing else happened?" he asked her, surprised at how she was defending him.

She sighed and put her glass down as she stood up, "He stayed with us for a few weeks to make sure I was alright and that Bash was settling then he went back to his place. Over the years he started to come for dinner once a week then twice and so on. He played with Bash made him laugh, he's why he says Mummy and not Mommy. He told him stories of you as he got older, don't worry they weren't about Ripper," she said in response to his wide eyed concern, "and we talked, I told him about dying and coming back and how much it had screwed me up and everything else that had happened. He had a few choice words for Will and Xand and called you a few colourful names when I told him you had left me but that was it"

"I'm going to have to get used to him being around again aren't I?" he asked with a resigned sigh.

"Yup and he's offered his spare room to you, that is if you are staying" she said uncertainly.

"For a couple of days yes," he looked over at her and sighed, he needed to be alone while he absorbed everything she had told him "I'll be back tomorrow" he said standing.

"You're leaving? Oh, okay, I mean yeah, rough couple of days I suppose" she said standing with him, fidgeting with the hem of her top not sure what to do with herself.

"Goodnight Buffy" he said then left her apartment with a quiet click of the door as he shut it behind him.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Mummy, Mummy!"

Bash's voice broke through the haze that had settled over her as she sat on the balcony staring out over the city. The faint sounds of children laughing and shouting from the middle of the park across the street had brought her out here to begin with, seeking the peace she wasn't getting from inside the apartment.

Dawn stayed with her, showing up half an hour after Giles had left. She had waited all of five minutes before ambushing her and demanding the whole story about why she left, what she had been doing and why she had stayed away.

Xander and Willow had stayed as well, both of them saying that they needed a holiday anyway. Ethan put them in the apartment next door and they helped her with Bash, helping out in the club every so often as well while Buffy took a forced leave of absence.

Bash absolutely adored Xander, as she knew he would, both of them getting up to mischief that made her smile. Plus Bash thought he was a pirate because of his eye patch which made him even cooler in his eyes. Willow had taken it upon herself to teach Bash to control his magic by showing him how to float feathers and his teddies, giving him a safe outlet for it so it didn't build up again. Bash stared with rapt attention when she would show him how to do it, his face screwed up in concentration when it was his turn.

Giles had stayed at a hotel for two days before going back to London, spending that time with Bash and practically ignoring her whenever she was in the same room. She was hurt by it of course but she wasn't surprised by it, what else did she deserve after disappearing on him and not telling him he had a son.

What did surprise her was that he had spoken to her before he had left for London asking what she had discovered about Bash. He had listened without any sort of reaction as she told him that because they were bonded he had absorbed some of their gifts; increased agility, strength, healing and his magical abilities were enhanced. He was more intelligent than other children his age and being connected to them psychically was apparently a happy accident.

He'd phoned yesterday, after three weeks of silence, to tell her he would be back today to talk. He had hung up as soon as he had told her not letting her speak and ignoring her attempts to contact him via the bond.

And that was why she was sitting on the balcony attached to her bedroom, staring at the clear blue sky while her nervous butterflies fluttered around her stomach, wondering if Giles wanted her back in his life or if he just wanted to be able to get to know his son. She hoped for both but after seven years on a Hellmouth and having every good thing taken from her, or at least damaged, she knew that it was likely the latter that he wanted.

"What is it sweetie?" she asked turning to see Bash running at her.

"Sander and Willow and Dawn wanna take me to the zoo and the park and for ice-cream" he said as he launched himself into her lap, "can I go? Pleease?"

She smiled down at him fondly before rubbing her nose against his, "Sure why not as long as you promise to bring me back something sweet to eat"

"Okay Mummy, I bring you some ice-cream or you want blue candy floss?" he asked her laying his head against her chest for a hug.

"Hmm," she murmured laying her cheek on the top of his head as she rubbed his back, "How about," she pushed him back to look him in the eye, "you surprise me" she finished with a grin, Bash giggling and twisting to avoid her fingers as she tickled him.

"Ok Mummy I su'pise you" he gave her a kiss on the cheek then leapt off her lap and ran back through her bedroom calling for Xander.

She turned back to the view she had of the park with a sad, almost wistful smile on her face not hearing Willow coming up behind her. She felt a tear fall onto her cheek and reached up to wipe it away, her head filled with Giles and what she'd obviously lost with him.

"Hey, you okay Buff?" Willow asked gently, sitting in the chair next to her. She still wasn't used to Buffy with short hair again, even though she had been with her when she had had it cut, let alone sporting her natural light brown colour.

Buffy looked around and wiped her face again, "Yeah, I'm good Will, thanks for taking him out" she said before leaning back in her chair and staring up into the endless blue sky.

"Happy to do it" she said with a hesitant smile, "He's such a sweetie and so clever! He wants me to teach him more spells"

"I think the floating spell is enough for now Will" Buffy said with a chuckle, remembering him float the cookie jar from the top of the fridge the day before. "If you need cash then take my credit card out of my purse, it's the same one Whistler gave me in L.A."

Willow nodded, still reeling from Buffys tale about how she left and what she did. Having the mystery solved of how she managed all this time had satisfied her but it hadn't resolved all of her worry, especially when she could see that Buffy was still holding something back from them.

"Buffy what's wrong?" Willow asked giving into her worry.

"Nothing, I'm okay" Buffy said forcing a smile as she looked at her, her eyes mercifully hidden by her sunglasses.

"Then why are you crying?" Willow asked leaning forward and taking her hand.

She scowled and wiped the treacherous tears away with her fingers, "It's no big Will, honestly, just all this stuff with you guys being around again and getting hurt and Bash making it rain..."

"And Giles" Willow said softly cutting her off, "You still love him don't you?"

"Duh" Buffy said with a cheerless chuckle, "But I hurt him pretty bad this time Will so I'm just gonna accept what he says he wants, no pushing or begging" she said looking off into the distance with a frown on her face.

"No anything? Really?" Willow asked surprised at her friends willingness to accept whatever happened, it wasn't like her.

"Yes really. I chose to leave – twice – and I chose to not tell him I was pregnant or that he had a son so yeah, accepting whatever" she said sounding resigned to it now, "even if it isn't what I want"

She sighed then stood, looking down at Willow as she slid between the chairs and into her room, "I'll help you guys get him ready then once he's gone I'll tidy his room, sort out his clothes and toys while he's not around"

"You stay here Buff, it's okay, Dawn and I can get him ready" Willow said standing as well and pulling her back out onto the balcony, pushing her down onto the chair, "You need some time to yourself before Giles shows up"

Buffy looked up at her sharply, "You've spoken to him. Is that why you're taking Bash out now?" she asked narrowing her eyes at her behind her sunglasses.

Willow nodded, her face flushing with guilt at the way Buffy's mouth thinned and how she looked away when she realised that it was only her that Giles wasn't speaking to, "He asked that we distract him while he talks with you" she told her, understanding colouring her voice as she squeezed Buffy's shoulder in support.

Buffys breath hitched as she struggled to suppress the urge to let the tears come. She took a deep breath then blew it out slowly with her eyes closed, regaining some control. She squeezed Willows hand and watched her walk back through her room, the butterflies now fluttering up a tornado in her stomach, matching the sudden erratic beating of her heart, "I can do this" she muttered.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Giles had been dreading this day for the last week and now it was upon him he found himself wavering slightly in his decision. He sighed quietly to himself in the back of the cab. He had spent the last few weeks organising an extended leave from the Council and arranging an apartment for himself and Bash close to where Buffy lived.

He had thought long and hard about what to do, agonizing over his decision to avoid all unnecessary contact with Buffy, only seeing her when he picked up or dropped off Bash, but it was the right thing to do for now. She had hurt him, deeply, not just with her leaving but with the revelation that she had been so close to him, pregnant with his child, and had not made any attempt at contact.

After the shock of meeting his son had worn off later that same evening when he was alone in his hotel room and had thought about everything that she had said to him, the rage over what had happened, what she had decided for him, taken from him, had set in. He wasn't sure he could forgive her this time, not for this.

She had denied him the chance to be involved and he resented her for it. His contact with Willow had told him that she was withdrawn even when she was enjoying herself. Willow had said it was almost like she was holding something back or that a part of who she was had broken and couldn't be fixed no matter how much time she spent with them.

He had also discovered that Buffy was thinking about moving back to England, a decision that he hoped she would make before his six month leave was over. He wanted to be involved in his sons life as much as possible, a feat that would be made so much harder if she still lived in Florida.

He was pulled from his internal monologue when the cab slid to a stop outside her apartment building. He paid the driver and got out, stopping as he looked up at the building, his resolve faltering when he felt the hum of her melancholic mood through the bond. He sighed before strengthening his barriers, effectively blocking her out completely. He had chosen to wait until an hour before her shift started at the club so he would only be able to stay long enough to tell her what his plans were and negotiate wherever he needed to, not able to trust his resolve to keep things between them as business like as possible if he stayed longer than that.

Fortifying himself with a deep breath he pushed through the entry doors and began the climb to her apartment, going over in his head what he had to say. He pulled up short when he saw the trash bag outside her door, stopping completely when it opened and she appeared with another.

She glanced down the hall as she bent to pick up the bag already there and straightened in surprise when she saw him.

"Oh...hey" she said, her face flushing slightly as she looked down at the bags in her hands, "go in and sit if you want I just have to take these to the trash".

She nudged the door open with her elbow then took off down the hall in the opposite direction. Giles, his heart beating frantically as he noticed the slight redness to her eyes, walked forward until he was in her apartment. Instead of sitting like she had offered he stood and stared out of the window, wondering if the tears she had shed were because of him.

He looked around at the apartment, smiling at Bash's artwork proudly displayed on the walls. He stared intently at a photograph across the room, his breath hitching slightly when he realised it was one of the four of them, both he and Buffy along with Xander and Willow taken in the lobby of the hotel in L.A. He was interrupted from his inspection when she returned, not looking at him as she shut the door and stood in front of it.

"Sorry about that" she said with an apologetic shrug of the shoulders, "I'm sorting Bash's room out, it's a lot easier to do when he isn't around"

"It's quite alright Buffy" he said softly, turning to look at her fully. She was wearing an old pair of grey sweats and a black tank top knotted at the back, her hair in a ponytail with a headband holding back the few strands that refused to go back, "I just wanted to let you know that I am renting an apartment near here for the next six months so I can get to know Bash properly and I wanted to ask if you would be willing to let me have him for weekends, possibly I could even watch him when you're at work"

He watched her eyes dim a little before she nodded, looking over his shoulder out of the window, "That's fine Giles. Whatever you need is fine with me" she said turning and walking towards her kitchen.

"Are there any rules you want to implement?" he asked watching her open the fridge.

"No, he's old enough to tell you what he likes and what he doesn't, he knows his bedtime and I trust you to guide him with his magic" she said walking back into the living room with a bottle of water, "You could pick him up from his pre-school sometimes if you like, it's a special one run by one of Ethans friends for kids with abilities"

"I would like that yes" he said warily waiting for her to ask about them.

"Anything else?" she asked bluntly, "Only I have to shower and change for work"

"Just one thing," he cleared his throat and stepped forward, "Willow tells me you are thinking of moving to England, is this true?"

"Yep, Ethan told me about a school in London for kids like Bash, kinda like Hogwarts, so I checked it out and it looks pretty promising" she said playing with the bottle cap in her hand, she still hadn't looked at him directly and that worried him.

"Ah yes, I know it, Moores Academy for the gifted" Giles said with a smile, "How did Ethan know about it?"

"His psychic friends cousins sister-in-law went there" she said with a shrug, "Ethan seems to know everybody"

"They send young Watchers with magical potential there, I went there for a time myself" Giles said with a proud tone to his voice at the thought of his son attending his alma mater.

"Yeah I figured" she muttered still looking over his shoulder at the horizon.

His heart constricted in his chest when he saw the desolate expression on her face and took another step towards her, "Buffy, I…."

"Is that all? I don't mean to be rude but I really should get ready for work" she said almost stuffily.

"No I, uh, I understand and yes, I think that is all for now" he said looking at the floor, his hands in his pockets, seeing no reason to voice the rest of his planned speech concerning them "Can I pick him up tomorrow?"

"Of course. Does one o'clock sound good? He can have his lunch and then you have the afternoon to take him where you like before you take him back to your place"

"Yes that sounds perfect, thank you Buffy" he said kindly hoping to ease the crushing guilt that had started to weigh heavily on his heart at her behaviour towards him.

She looked straight at him then and it was all he could do not to stagger back. The emptiness in her eyes hit him like a blow to the stomach, "No need to thank me Giles" she whispered then turned and walked away, "I'll see you tomorrow"

He heard the click of the bathroom door and heard the shower start but he couldn't get his feet to move. He stood rooted to the spot until he heard the muffled sob echo from behind the closed door then he couldn't get out of there fast enough, cursing himself a fool and a complete bastard while he made his way back down to the street.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

 **Rating T/M**

Chapter 7

Ethan watched her closely the first night she came back to work and for the first time since he had met her he was silently begging her to slip and open herself up, drop the barrier just for a second hoping to get another flash of insight from her, one of the only magical abilities he had left thanks to the initiative and the Powers.

Sure she smiled and laughed with the customers like she always did, but the laughter never reached her eyes and when she thought no one was looking she would close her eyes and take a deep breath, letting it out slowly before turning back to the bar to take the next order, smile in place like a mask.

From what little he had seen and learned since she had walked into his bar he knew she was meant for more than this, meant to be more than a lonely single mother working behind a bar just to feel connected to people. He knew she didn't have to work, he had seen that too along with the hole in her heart that had been there since she had left Giles the second time.

He also knew that he couldn't do a thing about it which pissed him off. He looked up at the ceiling, through it to where he imagined the Powers were watching over them and shook his head,

"She deserves more and you know it" he whispered, sipping his drink in quiet contemplation as he turned to watch the Phraxal that was butchering James Brown on the stage.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Bash was sitting on the sofa with Xander waiting happily for his Daddy. His backpack, holding everything he needed for a sleepover, was sitting next to him and his arms were full with his favourite teddy, toy truck and a bag of new Lego sets he could build with his Daddy.

It had always just been his Mummy and Ethan but now he had a Daddy and an Aunty and two new friends to play with. He loved it. His Mummy had always told him stories of her friends so he knew them already which was why he wasn't scared to be around them like he usually was with new people.

He looked over at his Mummy smiling excitedly and noticed that she wasn't even looking at him. Instead she was standing with Willow and Aunty Dawn at the doors to the big balcony, her arms wrapped around herself, shaking her head as they whispered to her too low for him to hear. He frowned in concentration and tried to reach out to her but he couldn't feel her or hear her.

"Mummy?" he said walking over to her, tugging on her top.

She looked down at him and smiled, "You ready to go sweetie?" she asked sounding like her normal self but he knew that something was wrong.

"You 'kay?" he asked her quietly, watching as her eyes got wet and she knelt down in front of him.

"Oh baby" she whispered pulling him onto her knees, wrapping him tightly in her arms, "Mummy's okay it's just my tummy is hurting that's all"

"Is you sick?" he asked pulling back to look at her, worried now.

"Only a little, I think I ate something bad" she said rubbing his back in a soothing rhythm, "I'll be okay in a little while, I promise"

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts and he kissed his Mummy giving her an extra big hug before he jumped up and ran back to the sofa for his things. While Xander was helping him put his backpack on and Aunty Dawn opened the door he felt a pain in his tummy and looked round just in time to see his Mummy run for the bathroom, Willow following her closely.

"Hi Daddy!" he cried running at him and hugging his legs.

"Hello there Bash" his Daddy said with a big smile and bent to pick him up.

"Mummy's sick" he said seriously and watched his Daddy's eyes flick to Xander and Auntie Dawn.

"It's nothing Giles, she's fine" Xander said with a little smile but it wasn't a happy smile.

"She be okay" Bash said reaching for the bag of Lego when Auntie Dawn brought it over, "Look it" he said showing his Daddy, "We can build stuff"

"I look forward to it" he said his smile still big.

They looked towards the bathroom when they heard his Mummy moan and gag and he laid his head on his Daddy's shoulder with a quiet whimper. His Daddy rubbed his back.

"I'm sure she'll be fine son" he said softly.

"Course she will Bash" Xander said to him then looked up at his Daddy with a strange look on his face, "She wanted you to have this" he said showing him the little key chain thingy his Mummy had given him.

He looked up at his Daddy when he felt a strange feeling and saw him looking at the bathroom door.

"Shall we get going then?" his Daddy asked him and he nodded happily.

Wiggling to be let down, he ran over to the bathroom as soon as his feet touched the floor, "Buh-bye Mummy" he called through the door.

"See you tomorrow sweetie" she called back, her voice sounding funny.

Willow came out then, shutting the door behind her and picked him up, "Your Mommy wants me to give you a big sloppy kiss" she said then tightened her hold on him and blew a raspberry into his neck.

He shrieked happily and scrunched his head down, pushing on her shoulders until she stopped and put him down. He saw her look over at his Daddy and she looked angry.

Frowning he saw his Daddy bend his head and close his eyes and wondered what was going on. He picked up his teddy and his truck and ran out the door waving bye to Xander and Dawn figuring that it was grown up stuff so decided not to worry about it. He heard his Daddy say bye as he waited at the top of the stairs like he was s'posed to, grinning when his Daddy came up holding his hand out for him.

XXXXXXXXXX

"I'm really worried about her Xand" Willow said when they were back in their apartment, watching him pour them each a glass of wine, "She threw up because of how much pain she was in then cried so hard she threw up again, I don't know what to do"

Xander handed her a glass and sat next to her on the sofa, "I hate to say it but she did kinda do this to herself"

"Xander!" Willow hissed pinning him with an infuriated glare, "You heard what she said about why she left, both times, how can you say she did it to herself when _we_ pushed her to do it"

"We did not push her to do it Will" he said putting his glass on the coffee table, "Yeah okay, we judged her and blamed her and expected her to do her duty as the Slayer without acting like a complete bitch and pulled her out of Heaven..." he trailed off and looked at Willow guiltily, "We are horrible friends" he said dropping his head against the back of the couch.

"Not horrible...well, yeah, okay, maybe horrible but how do we help her now?" Willow asked, pulling her legs up and tucking them under her before taking a healthy sip of her wine.

"Just be there for her I guess what else can we do?" Xander asked rolling his head and staring at Willow like she had all the answers.

Willow gazed thoughtfully out of the window, her brain working overtime as she tried to think of something, anything, she could do so that she wouldn't have to feel her heart breaking for Buffy like it had today.

A thought popped into her head and she looked back at Xander, "Do we know anything about the bond they have?" she asked him, shifting forward in her seat, her excitement at finding a possible cause and solution making her fidget.

Xander shook his head, "Other than what Giles dug up when it first showed up no, nothing else. Why?"

"What if the way she's feeling has something to do with how they're both blocking each other out?" she said her eyes sparkling with the excitement of possibly figuring out a way to help them.

"But wouldn't Giles feel just as shitty? And why didn't this happen before when she was gone all that time" Xander asked picking his wine glass back up and taking a sip, resisting the urge to grin at his best friends geeker joy over the possibility of research.

"No because _he_ shut _her_ out, physically and mentally, he hadn't done that before, add that he's annoyed with her..."

"That's not the word I'd use" Xander muttered into his glass, shrugging his shoulders when Will threw him a glare, "What? It's true and you know it, he's angry at her and he doesn't know if he'll be able to forgive her"

Willow rolled her eyes and jumped up, putting her wine glass safely on the end table, "But that's my point. He's all ragey and grr towards her and she seals herself up unable to deal and this happens"

"I can see where you're going with this Will but what if it's just a really intense break up and nothing to do with the bond? What is it you think we can do about it either way?" Xander asked looking at her with an amused expression on his face.

"Well we could…or, or maybe...but..." she watched with growing frustration as Xander shook his head every time she started to suggest something, "Argh! I hate when you're the sensible one being all logical and stuff, it's not right, almost like a sign of the apocalypse" she said laughing when Xander hit her with a cushion.

XXXXXXXXXX

Giles had a wonderful afternoon with Bash, surprised and delighted by his curiosity and desire to learn new things.

They had gone to the park, after dropping Bash's things off at his flat, and fed the ducks and geese that lived in the pond then Bash had worn him out in the little play area. His heart practically leaping from his chest when Bash would fearlessly jump from the top of the climbing frame giggling. He had taken him to the amusement park and watched with barely contained joy as Bash dragged him to everything that caught his eye and pleaded with him to let him see the fishes.

He'd brought him home and cooked him dinner before sitting on the floor with him and building one of his Lego sets. He gave him a bath and put him to bed around seven, reading the book he had brought with him about a big red dog. After he had fallen asleep, he had stood at his door and watched him, amazed at how easily Bash had accepted him into his life. He realised that it must be because Buffy had told Bash all about him and he felt a sudden pang of guilt that he hadn't actually asked her anything about Bash.

He poured himself a small measure of scotch and fired up the lap top Willow had bought, set up and showed him how to use the year before. He pushed the thumb drive Buffy had given him into the port, sipping his scotch as he waited for it to load. He put the glass down with a thud when a picture of Buffy, obviously standing in front of a mirror, wearing a pastel coloured vest top and black leggings filled his screen.

She was holding a little sign at her hip that said twelve weeks, the camera hiding her face and he held his breath as he clicked for the next picture. He kept flicking through watching her stomach grow, a warmth filling him when he realised she had done this for him. After the picture of her standing there in pyjamas in her seventh month, a video file opened up. He saw what he assumed was her stomach behind the play symbol and sucked in a shuddering breath when he clicked it and saw her gently prod her belly, the sound of her happy giggle filled the otherwise silent room when Bash pushed what was clearly his foot back against her fingers.

He watched, utterly transfixed, as her belly undulated with Bash's movements, gasping with her when a particularly strong movement made it seem as if Bash was standing on her spine, elongating her stomach. It stopped and he clicked over to the next photo of her at eight months. She became quite large with him but didn't really gain any weight, still being able to wear the same jeans she had worn that day in his office.

After her last pregnancy photo there came the first picture of Bash. His face was scrunched up with his little hands grasping at his cheeks, his head a little bloody and his dark hair stuck to his forehead. In the next picture he was wearing a romper suit and lying on a blanket fast asleep. A piece of card was laying over his stomach with his name, date, time of birth and weight written on it.

He clicked through hundreds of pictures of Bash, watching him grow. There were videos of him too, learning to crawl and taking his first steps, Buffy holding her hands out to him with the camera looking over her shoulder. His first time in a paddling pool with Buffy holding him under his arms, running at the camera in a baby walker with his hands in the air, his eyes wide and panting with excitement.

He heard his first words and smiled when he heard Buffy's exclamation of joy, laughing at him when he saw him clapping happily as he built towers out of his blocks and laughing hysterically when Buffy's hand appeared and knocked them down. He watched him kicking and throwing a ball and learning to read and write, understanding for the first time what his mother had meant when she told him that only a parent could understand just how much joy and love a heart could hold.

A silly grin erupted on his face at one picture of Bash sitting on Ethans shoulders and holding onto his hair with his little fists, a big toothy smile on his face and Ethan grinning happily at the camera. He saw no more of Buffy and found himself wishing there was.

When he finished he started again, cycling through and paying attention to every little detail, again and again. After a while he sat back and looked over at the clock on his mantle, his eyes widening in surprise when he saw that it was nearly eleven o'clock. It was too late to follow through on the desire to phone Buffy and thank her for the thumb drive, he'd just have to thank her when he took Bash back.

Yawning he turned off the lap top, tucking the thumb drive safely into the top draw of his desk and stood. Taking his glass into the kitchen, he left it in the sink and turned off the lights, checking on Bash before heading to his own bed.

He lay there staring at the ceiling and tentatively dropped the barriers in his mind, reaching out to Buffy along the bond. He sighed, the sound heavy with regret and annoyance, when he came up against what felt like a steel wall and replaced his own barriers between them.

He rolled onto his side and reached out to Bash, smiling when he felt a contented hum coming from him and saw the blurry images of his dream flickering across his eyelids. He closed his eyes and drifted off to a slide show of all the pictures he had just seen, refusing to think about why the few of Buffy and the sound of her happy giggles featured just as much as the pictures of Bash.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Buffy shut a part of herself away, locked it up tight in a vault of steel and brick, and carried on as she had before her old life had caught up with her new one. Bash's happiness at having his Daddy around was infectious and when she wasn't alone she was smiling along with him, laughing in all the right places when he would tell her about their time together.

She missed him fiercely when he was with Giles and for the first few weeks she would crawl into Bash's bed in the night just so she could sleep. With the tormented part of her mind locked safely away she would let Bash in when he was away, much to his delight, and as he would fall asleep he would call out to her and tell her he loved her before saying goodnight.

Everyone still watched her though, surreptitious little glances when they thought she couldn't see, and instead of annoying her like it had when they'd pulled her out of Heaven it just made her roll her eyes and smirk. She was also losing weight, not deliberately but it was falling off her anyway. She was also plagued by nightmares every night, her dreams filled with darkness and a desire to rip and tear her way through the city, and every time she started to worry about it a whispering voice in her mind told her it was nothing, just stress. She felt better after she heard that voice, more relaxed and definitely calmer.

After a month Dawn left to go back to school. She had gotten her GED and had been accepted to Oxfords honour program within a year after the Hellmouths destruction. She'd told Buffy that passing the Councils entry tests with distinction was a lot more difficult than getting a degree.

Faith was due for her yearly visit today, a chance for her to blow off some steam before the Hellmouth started to percolate after it's summer cool off, and Buffy looked up from what she was doing at the bar every time the ding from the metal detector indicated the customer coming through it was clean. She was nervous this time, knowing that Faith would see the changes and want to know what was wrong.

She didn't know that Faith was already there, coming early when Ethan had rung her the day before with his concerns, and had already seen her. Once she had gotten over her shock at how thin she was and how dark the circles were under her eyes, she had turned to Ethan and demanded to know what was going on.

"It's Ripper" he had told her sadly, "The pain was too much for her when he first started taking Bash for weekends, seeing him ignoring her, she couldn't take it so she shut herself off, shut _him_ off"

"Why would seeing Giles hurt so much?" Faith asked him while watching Buffy move up and down the bar serving drinks.

"He shut her out because she didn't tell him about Bash, he's hurting too only he isn't being affected like she is" he said watching as Faith narrowed her eyes at Buffy, "What is it sweet?"

"I don't know but there's something about her setting off my alarms" Faith said still watching her, "I'm gonna go see G, if he sets my alarms off as well then we may have a problem" she kissed his cheek, smacking his hand away with a grin when he patted her ass, then slithered into the shadows and vanished out the back.

Ethan watched Buffy for a few more seconds before switching back into his host persona and strolling out onto the main floor of the club, swinging a rather fetching twenty something into his arms for a quick dance.

Faith arrived at Giles' apartment just as they finished dinner and caught his sour expression when Bash greeted her enthusiastically. _Hmm,_ _guess he_ _doesn't like that she kept in touch or that I know Bash_ she thought, catching the little monster as he jumped from the sofa.

"You here for Mummy" he whispered to her, too low for Giles to hear and she nodded, no more than a slight movement of her head, and he sighed. _This kid was a lot smarter than any of them gave him credit for_ she thought.

"Can I show Faith my room Daddy?" he asked brightly, grabbing her hand and pulling her down the hall before Giles could say a word.

"You are having a bath in thirty minutes Sebastian" he called after them and threw his hands in the air with a frustrated huff when Bash giggled and said okay the same way Buffy used to say it when she had no intention of following through.

"Mummy not sick" Bash said in a whisper when he had finished showing Faith everything in his room including the blackboard wall he was allowed to draw on, "She hurt. Bad demon hurt her"

"That was months ago Monster" she said pulling him onto her lap as she sat on the bed, "What do you mean?"

Bash screwed his face up in concentration as he tried to find a way to make her understand. Giving up he sighed and raised his hands to her head, "I show you" he whispered then touched his fingers to her temples and she gasped as images flooded her mind.

She saw Buffy fighting the Varlets. The last Varlet blowing her out of the window and she saw her landing on a car. Laying in the hospital bed hooked up to machines. A sliver of something, no more than a shadow, working it's way deeper inside her body as she healed. Growing bigger and darker after she sealed away her pain as a convenient source of fuel for it's growth. The same shadow trying to use the bond to get to Bash and Giles and being pushed back by Bash.

She blinked and looked down at Bash in shock when he pulled away, "Why haven't you told anyone else hun?"

"They can't help without you, don't tell Daddy he make it worse" he whispered his eyes filling with tears, "Help Mummy" he said wrapping his arms around her neck as the tears fell.

"Don't worry little man, I'll help your Mom" she told him, standing and taking him back to his Dad.

She glared at Giles as she handed the still sobbing boy over, "Get over yourself already" she growled at him and left him standing by the fireplace with a completely baffled expression on his face and trying to console his son.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket as she ran down the steps from his apartment and quickly dialled Willow, "Yo Red we got problems meet me outside Veritas like, now" she said when she answered, hanging up after she got an okay from her. Putting on a burst of speed she ran back to the club hoping she wasn't too late.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Buffy looked up and saw a frantic Xander rushing through the club towards her, "What is it Xand?"

"It's Bash Buff, Giles tried ringing but got no answer" he said pulling her back towards the entrance, "He's upstairs in your place"

Buffy dropped her tray, not caring when it glanced off the side of the table she had been wiping down, and ran ahead of Xander ignoring the sound of glass shattering behind her. She ran around the back of the building and up the stairs faster than she had run for a long time and was embarrassed to find that she was slightly winded as she barrelled through her front door.

Faiths fist hit her in the face knocking her back into an invisible barrier that hadn't been there ten seconds ago. Dazed she looked up to see Willow standing there her eyes closed and hands open in supplication muttering under her breath. She looked up as Faith stood over her, shifting to stand again, "Why?"

"Sorry B but I gotta" Faith said then hit her again, harder this time and she saw no more.

Xxxxxxxxxx

"I wassss sssslleeeeeping" Buffy said in a thick, sickly voice, her body still slumped against the barrier Willow had erected before she had arrived.

She started to get up and lurched towards Faith, "Sssslayer" she hissed.

"Na, fuck that" Faith said looking freaked and slammed her fist into Buffy's gut, gripping the back of her head and bringing her knee up, connecting violently to Buffys face, "Will, do something!" she shouted feeling the pain blossom from her knee, Buffy all of a sudden a lot more tougher than she had been a few seconds ago.

Willow pointed a hand at Buffy and muttered "Coangusto"

Buffys body hit the floor with a thud, glaring at them when it became obvious she couldn't move. Willow, still pointing, muttered, "Concustodio" and Buffy was surrounded by a flare of white light.

Faith stepped forward and pressed a hand against the invisible wall, feeling the power behind the spell, "Damn Red, knew were strong but whoa!"

Willow smiled distractedly as she watched Buffy floating bonelessly in the centre of her protective circle. She picked up a candle and placed it at the northern point, taking the others from Faith as she handed them to her and placing them at the other three compass points.

She lifted a jar of herbs from the coffee table and emptied it as she walked around the circle. When she was done she picked up a crystal and stood at the northern point holding it out in front of her and dropped the barrier spell, Buffy dropping back to the floor with a muted thud.

"Revelați-mi răul care consumă acest suflet,

Revelați-mi răul care consumă acest suflet"

Faith watched as Buffys body straightened and began to convulse, an inky black substance pouring from her ears, eyes, nose and mouth, forming a distorted humanoid shape above her while Willow continued to chant.

"Elimina, Cetlui, Distruge.

Elimina, Cetlui, Distruge.

Elimina, Cetlui, Distruge.

 _Elimina!_ _Cetlui!_ _Distruge!"_

Willow shouted the last three words of her chant, now holding the crystal directly over the writhing mass of incorporeal malevolence, her words pulling it up into the crystal. As she uttered the last syllable the crystal glowed so brightly Faith had to turn away.

She turned back when she heard Buffy moan and saw Willow blowing out the candles, "B? You back with us?"

"What just happened?" Buffy asked weakly then cleared her throat as she pushed herself up onto her knees, "I'm sorry what I meant was, what the fuck was that?!"

"You were being taken over by something, don't know what but it was using you as host to get stronger" Faith said in her usual way, handing her a bottle of water.

"I thought the bond helped protect me from stuff like that" she said taking the water and Faiths hand, using it to help herself up.

"Normally yes but you and Giles are being idiots and whatever connection you had is being blocked because you are both using the pain you cause each other as shields to hide behind walls and keep each other out and you're idiots" Willow said crossing her arms and glaring at Buffy.

"So we're idiots nothing new there" Buffy said with a smirk, "Can't just ignore why we're building those walls though"

"Even if it meant you were safe from things that wanted to use you as a battery source?" Willow asked angrily.

"Even then" Buffy replied glaring at her, "Thanks for pulling that thing out of me Will, really, but when it comes to me and Giles just butt out okay?"

Willow glared back and just nodded in reply, watching her walk into her bathroom and shut the door, "Idiots"

Faith twisted the top off a beer she had just liberated from the fridge, smirking at Willow as she lifted the bottle to her lips.

"What?" Willow snapped still angry that Buffy was more willing to risk being used for a host than she was to fix her and Giles.

Faith held her hands up, "You're phoning G, no way I'm doing it"

Willow grimaced at the thought of phoning an irate Giles, "How mad do you reckon he'll be? Scale of one to ten?"

Faith mimicked and explosion and smiled when Willow gulped, her anger replaced with a nervous fear. She shook her head when Willow turned pleading eyes on her, "Uh uh not it"

"Definitely not it" Buffy called from the bathroom over the shower and Faith choked on the mouthful of beer she had just sucked from the bottle.

 _Laughing as you swallow, not a good idea_ she thought gasping for breath.

"Ugh fine, but I want a pretty funeral" Willow said picking up her phone, rolling her eyes at the laughter coming from the big bad Slayers too scared to make a phone call.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

 **Rating T/M**

Chapter 8

"Giles...hey" Buffy said opening the door with a confused frown. "Bash isn't here. Willow and Xander have taken him to the park while I finish up. The freighter company will be here in two hours and I still need to finish packing".

"Uh, yes I, uh, we need to talk" he said walking in and shutting the door when she turned and walked back towards her kitchen.

The last month had seen a better relationship between them and he felt like kicking himself for not seeing that she was being possessed. His mother used to tell him that he could get too caught up in his own head when someone had wronged him and would often fail to notice what was right in front of his face.

"'Bout what?" she asked standing on her toes to reach the top of her cupboards.

"Let me get that" he said not bothering to hide his amusement as he easily reached over her head and pulled down the old tin that she had managed to slide to the edge.

"Thanks" she said taking it from him and adding it to the box that was sitting on the counter, "What do you need to talk to me about?"

"Us" he said looking around at all the boxes that were already sealed shut and stacked against the wall near the door, ready for her move back to England. His heart was hammering in his chest as he watched her stop packing the kitchen box, her back was to him but he saw her shoulders tense slightly. He still couldn't feel her through the bond and it made him uncomfortable.

"There is no us," she whispered. She turned to face him with a carefully blank expression on her face, "you made that perfectly clear"

"Buffy, love, please understand" he begged her, taking a step forward, reaching for her.

"But I do understand and I don't blame you" she said holding her hands up to stop him, "I made the choice to stay away, to not tell you about Bash, I get why you hate me"

"I don't hate you Buffy, I never did" he said risking it and grabbing her hand.

She closed her eyes and let out a hollow laugh, "Hate, love, we hurt each other regardless don't we" she said pulling her hand back and looking at him with tear filled eyes, "I hurt you, you hurt me, back and forth over the years, whether we mean to or not we just can't seem to help it can we"

"Then it's up to us to change that" he said taking both her hands in his and pulling her forward, "I've missed you for so long now and to have you here in front of me yet still so far away..."

She took her one of her hands back and reached up to cup his cheek, "Do you forgive me? For keeping Bash from you, for staying away?" she asked interrupting him.

He looked down at the hand still held in his, unable to meet her eyes. He had always understood her need to repair herself, her need to do it alone. Hadn't he done just that when he had left her after her return from the dead? But the thought that she could have at least sent a letter, made a phone call, anything that told him he was a father was still there. The feeling of resentment for missing out on the first three years of his sons life still too strong despite seeing it in all of the pictures she had given him. He looked back up and saw such a tender understanding in her eyes that it broke him.

"It's okay Giles, I understand, really I do" she said softly moving closer to him, her hand moving from his cheek to lay on his chest "And I miss you too but until you get to a place where you can forgive me then it's best if we just carry on as we are. These are my consequences for the choices I made"

He gripped her hand tighter, covering the hand on his chest with his as he fought back the urge to burst into tears. This wonderful, amazing woman still held his heart completely and he could see now that her time away from them had done exactly what she had intended it to do, "Buffy I..."

She smiled then and he blinked at the force of it, "I know Giles, I love you too" she whispered before leaning up and kissing his cheek.

He gave her one of his shy smiles in return then pulled her into his body, enfolding her in his arms, "Let me back in?" he asked into her shoulder.

She shook her head against his chest and pushed away from him, untangling herself from his arms, "I don't think that's a good idea, not yet anyway"

"Why?" he asked, disappointed and feeling very bereft because she was no longer in his arms.

"Can't you feel it?" she asked resuming her task of packing the kitchen.

He had felt it, the merest stirring of the bond had ignited his blood and made him yearn for more, "I can yes" he said distractedly as his mind burst into action, thinking about the implications of this.

"The bond wants us together Giles" she said turning to him with a saucepan in one hand and a roll of cellophane in the other, "and I want that too, so much, but..." she sighed and turned back to the counter, putting the lid on the saucepan upside down and unsticking the cellophane to wrap around it.

"But it's best if we just carry on as we are" he finished for her, mirroring her sigh.

"Mummy! Guess what?" Bash shouted as he barrelled through the front door.

She turned and looked at Giles with such sadness and longing he was willing to forget everything she had said just to make those emotions disappear.

"You finally learned how to fly?" she asked Bash looking down at him as he ran around the counter and wrapped his arms around her legs.

"I wish!" he said letting go of her legs and looking up at her with a grin, "Xander getting burgers for lunch!" he said excitedly then ran at Giles, "Hi Daddy, why you here?"

"Charming, should I leave?" Giles said with a playful grin.

"No!" Bash held his arms up wanting Giles to pick him up. Once he was comfortably situated on Giles' hip he wrapped his arms around his neck and laid his head on his shoulder, "Daddy stay forever"

Buffy smiled fondly at her littlest guy, her eyes flicking up to Giles' and seeing him staring at her with the same sadness and longing she felt all over his face, "Well that'll be tough sweetie seeing as we're moving to England in a couple of days" she said tapping a finger on his nose.

"But Daddy coming too right?" he asked looking up at him then turning his head and looking at her.

Buffy saw the extra large box meant for the pillows, quilts and cushions out of the corner of her eye and a wicked idea popped into her head. She tapped a finger on her chin and leant back against the counter, "Hmm I don't know Bash" she said thoughtfully resisting the urge to burst out laughing when she saw both of their faces fall, "Do you think he would fit in that box?" she asked him pointing to it.

Bash looked at the box then up and down Giles' body then looked back at Buffy, "Maybe, he really big though" he said with a mischievous little grin.

"Maybe we should find out, we don't wanna leave him behind do we" Buffy said grinning as Giles started to put Bash down.

"I don't think I will fit" Giles said casually, walking past them as he examined the box, "But I think Mummy will" he said then lunged at her lifting her over his shoulder as she shrieked in surprise.

Bash ran past them both, cackling with glee and opened the flaps, "Mummy will fit" he said matter of factly as he peered over the edge, "Put in, Daddy!"

Buffy was half heartedly struggling to be let down, giggling happily, "You wait, I'm gonna get you both back for this" she said trying to sound mad and failing when she saw Bash stick his tongue out at her.

Giles clamped his arm tighter over her thighs and swung her off his shoulder and into the box, dumping her on top of the quilt and cushions that were already there, "Promises promises love but you'll have to catch us first" he said laughing as she struggled to right herself without ripping the box. He bent and swept Bash up into his arms, trotting to the other side of the apartment, laughing and dodging a cushion that came flying out of the box towards his head.

Buffy jumped from the box and started a game of chase around the room, grinning madly at Bash's happy laughter as he clung to Giles' neck. She chased them back into the bedroom and tackled them onto her bed, "Tickle Daddy!" she cried kneeling beside him and pinning Giles' hands above his head.

"No, no don't!" Giles said between bursts off laughter, trying to wriggle away from Bash's fingers that were digging into his ribs.

"What the Hell, I thought there was a fight going on" Xander said from the doorway, his hands full of take out bags, his face a comical expression of shock.

"Oh there was" Buffy said jumping off the bed, pulling Bash with her to stop him from tickling Giles, "and we won" she said with a grin as Bash giggled.

"No you didn't, I was merely regrouping" Giles said stuffily as he slid off the bed.

"Yeah okay Daddy" Bash said rolling his eyes and making Buffy laugh, "We won"

"Oh is that so?" Giles said as he settled his glasses in place, a perfect picture of calm.

Suddenly he lunged towards Bash who shrieked and dodged around Xander, running off down the hall with Giles close behind and calling for Buffy to help him.

Buffy walked with Xander back towards the kitchen taking one of the bags of food, "What'd ya get me?" she asked peeking inside, "Ooh cheeseburgers, extra pickles?" she asked looking up at him hopefully.

"Yes extra pickles and Will has the milkshakes and soda" he said choking back a bark of laughter when he saw Willow standing at the front door, her mouth open in shock at what she was watching in the living room.

"You okay Will?" Buffy asked her as she started to unload the food and set it on the breakfast counter.

"Is the world ending again?" she asked finally moving from the doorway and shutting it behind her. She put both the drinks trays down next to the food still staring at Giles playing with Bash.

Buffy and Xander laughed at her, "No, just some quality parenting Will" Buffy said her amused expression turning tender as she watched Giles lift Bash over his head, wiggling him side to side as he laughed.

"Giles put him down he has to eat" she said looking away before she could start crying. The picture they had given her so close to what she had imagined thousands of times over the years yet still not quite the same.

"Yay food!" Bash cried skipping over to her and taking the carton containing his cheeseburger and fries,"Can I have drink?" he asked over his shoulder as he walked over to coffee table.

"Milkshake?" Buffy asked taking one of the small cups that Xander had asked for and set it on the counter.

"Strawberry" he called back around a mouthful of fries.

"Don't talk with your mouthful" she admonished automatically, pouring half of her strawberry milkshake into a cup for him before handing it to Giles to put the lid on.

"Giles, milkshake or soda?" she asked while replacing the lid on the rest of her milkshake.

"What are the options?" he asked taking a carton from Xander.

"Chocolate or coke or lemonade" she said handing Willow her burger and fries, smiling when she took her strawberry milkshake from the tray.

"Chocolate please" he said taking the cup from her, his eyes locking with hers when she handed it to him and their fingers brushed together.

He blinked and looked away with a subtle shake of his head, "How did you know I would be here Xander?" he asked him whilst watching Bash bouncing on his knees next to the coffee table.

"I didn't, you're eating my second helping" Xander mumbled around his burger before he took a bite.

Buffy lightly clipped his shoulder as she walked past to sit on the floor next to Bash, "Don't talk with your mouthful" she said, grinning when Bash giggled at Xander being told off like he did.

"So Buff, you 'bout ready to leave?" Willow asked, looking between her and Giles as they snuck little glances at each other.

"Nearly," she said lifting her drink, "only have a few bits left in the kitchen, actually I think it's just the one box," she said looking back over towards the kitchen, "and my room to do, should be done in an hour"

"You going to see Ethan before you go?" Willow asked her picking up her burger. She watched Giles as Buffy answered not missing the look of disappointment that passed over his face.

"Yeah I'm working tonight but he's asked me to bring Bash by an hour before my shift starts" she mumbled around the mouthful of burger she was chewing.

"Don't talk with mouthful" Bash sing-songed at her giggling when she stuck her tongue out at him.

"Where are you staying tonight?" Xander asked her trying to steal one of Bash's fries and yelping when he slapped his hand away.

"Hotel, Bash is staying with his Daddy" she said with a grin when Bash nodded happily, watching him pick apart his burger.

"You are more than welcome to stay with us" Giles said dropping his burger back into the carton to pick up his milkshake.

"I know and thank you but no" she said looking down at her food.

"Mummy wants to drink tonight with Ethan" Bash said between licks of his burger.

"Eat it don't lick it" Buffy said handing Xander the rest of her food and standing with her drink in hand.

"That doesn't matter, I'll give you a key" Giles said watching her walk back to the kitchen with a frown on his face.

"Shift ends at one and we might be done sorta late besides Ethan's paying for the room for a goodbye present. Penthouse suite, fully comped with a spa day thrown in" she said stacking her Tupperware boxes together then putting them in the box with the saucepans, dropping the utensils in on top of them.

"Oh I see" Giles said sounding slightly disappointed, "What about tomorrow night, where will you be staying then?"

"Same place as you guys, the hotel near the airport" she said giving him a grin as she lifted the now sealed box and carried it over to the others, "That's it for the kitchen now I gotta do my room, Bash is your suitcase still packed or have you dug through it again?"

"Maybe" he said looking intently at the remains of his burger.

Buffy sighed and gave him a reproachful glare, "Sebastian Ryder Summers did you unpack your bag again?"

He nodded then looked up, giving her a pout complete with puppy dog eyes, "I sorry" he said sweetly.

Buffy just shook her head and went back to the bedrooms, muttering darkly under her breath.

"Have you finished your lunch?" Giles asked him giving him a stern look.

"Yep, allll finished" he said happily not seeing his fathers glare.

"Good then you can go and help your Mum repack your bag" Giles said picking up the remnants of Bash's burger and putting it back in the carton.

"But I wanna play" Bash moaned giving Giles the same pout.

"When you have finished helping your Mum then you may play" Giles said standing then lifting him to his feet and taking his hand, gently tugging him forward when he resisted.

Willow caught Xanders attention and grinned, "Six months and they'll be all coupley" she said in a conspiratorial whisper.

"Boinking in three" Xander whispered back with a grin.

"Eeww but okay" she said with a shudder and shook his hand.

Giles walked into Bash's room tugging the uncooperative child with him and saw Buffy kneeling at Bash's bag refolding his clothes.

"Bash is here to help" he said forcing Bash to stand in front of him, "But I can do this if you want to start on your things"

Buffy kept her back to them for a second as she pushed her hair back, securing it with a hair tie. He caught her surreptitious brush of her cheeks and frowned.

"Are you alright love?" he asked pointing Bash towards the pile of books next to the bed, "Pick those up and put them back in your box" he told him sternly and Bash stomped over to them with an exaggerated sigh.

"Yeah I'm fine" she said standing and looking around the room, anywhere but at him, "Thanks for helping with this, I'll be done soon and then I'll make sure Bash has everything he needs for the next three days" she said then fled the room.

Giles sighed and knelt at the open case, continuing where Buffy had left off.

"Mummy sad" Bash said in a loud whisper a few minutes later, "She gonna miss here"

"That's understandable you did grow up here" Giles said tapping him on the nose much like Buffy had done, "But you can have Christmas in England with me, it might even snow" he said with exaggerated wide excited eyes, grinning when Bash copied him.

Bash grinned and crawled over to him, "Mummy said that I can spend Christmas at your house, will Santa know where to find me?" Bash asked seriously.

"I should imagine so, Santa is magical after all" Giles told him, pulling him up to sit in his lap as he shifted around and crossed his legs, "I'm sure he will leave some presents for you and your Mum under the tree"

Bash frowned and looked up at him, "But Mummy not gonna be there, she going to see Aunty Dawn. Will Santa leave her presents under her tree?"

Giles' heart dropped when he heard that, he had thought that she would spend Christmas with them so Bash wouldn't have a disrupted holiday.

"She said that it should be just us so we can have it together coz we missed the others" Bash said lying his head against Giles' chest with a yawn.

"Your Mum is a good woman" Giles said with a sweet smile, lifting him slightly so he could stand without making him move, not entirely surprised that he was falling asleep.

"She good Mummy too" Bash said sleepily.

"Yes she is" he said dropping a kiss on Bash's head as he lay him on his bed.

He finished repacking Bash's bag and wandered out towards Buffys room, stopping when he heard Willow talking softly.

"Why don't you just stay at Giles' like he offered?" Willow asked.

"Can't Will, it's too hard" Buffy replied with a sniff.

"Is that why you're crying?" Willow asked her voice laced with concern.

"No, yes, kinda" Buffy said and he could hear the pout in her voice.

"Well that cleared it up" Willow said with a little laugh.

Buffy gave a soggy chuckle, "It's missing Giles and wanting him so bad that it feels like I can't breath it hurts so much and it's leaving this place and all of our memories and starting again in a different country and I'm actually gonna miss Ethan which is really weird to be honest but he is actually a good guy underneath his smug dick attitude. It's just all hitting me I guess"

"Why don't you let him back in Buff, you know you have to before something bad happens again" Willow said and his eyes widened in surprise.

"I can't let him back in yet, the bond...if I open up again then we'll end up together before he's ready and it will just end up in all kinds of badness and I can't deal with anymore badness" Buffy said and he heard the rustle and rattle of clothes and their hangers being removed from a wardrobe.

"I get that I do but I'm worried about the danger you're in if you don't use that connection" Willow said over the sound of a zipper being pulled.

"I'll be fine. Ethan gave me that protection charm and you cast a cleansing spell once a week so I'm good" Buffy said and he could picture her shrug her shoulders in dismissal of Willows concern.

"Okay" Willow said not sounding entirely convinced, "Are you going to get a job when you get to England?"

"Not until Bash is in school, I still have access to all that cash Whistler arranged for me" Buffy said sounding a little lighter, "Travers was a world class asshole but he sure was rich" Giles turned and walked back to the living room, not needing to hear anymore as the conversation turned to the more mundane subjects such as things to do in London.

"Hey G-man wanna help pack the front room up?" Xander asked when he saw him standing in the hallway thoughtfully chewing on the ear piece of his glasses.

"Hmm" Giles intoned looking up at him, "I can't, I have a few things to do myself before we leave. Can you tell Buffy I'll pick Bash up from the club at five?"

"Sure thing" Xander said opening a draw on the bookcase and removing photo albums, stacking them in the box next to him.

Giles left the apartment in contemplative silence, running the conversation between Buffy and Willow over in his mind. From what he could gather Buffy's recent brush with possession was directly related to the bond being blocked. He knew the bond afforded them both protection against all manor of evil or demonic threats but he hadn't realised that blocking each other nullified those protections.

He looked at his watch when he reached the bottom of the stairs and decided he had the time to delve into some more extensive research into the bond and it's effects. He ignored the cabs driving past the building and walked the three blocks to his apartment. The shadow that detached itself from the corner of her building and moulded with his went unnoticed, distracted as he was by the words Buffy had said concerning him. He felt the pure masculine pride well up in him that a man of his age could still have a beautiful young woman like Buffy want him but that was only an abstract thought behind the one that made his heart clench.

She was still hurting and it was his fault.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Come on luv, get drunk with me" Ethan urged with amusement colouring his voice.

Buffy looked down at the shot glass and grimaced, "What the fuck is that?"

Ethan laughed as he nudged the glass closer to her, "I believe it's called a brain haemorrhage"

She stared at him her lips curled up in disgust and then shrugged and threw back the shot, "Hmm that's actually yummy can I have another one?"

"Sweetheart you can have whatever you want" Ethan said lining up the next round of drinks, "You're leaving tomorrow morning and will have to deal with that stubborn old fart for however long you can stand it, you deserve to get drunk"

Buffy had started to giggle at Ethans words stopping for long enough to swallow another shot, this one a shiny purple, "Ooh I love that one"

"Thought you might" he said swallowing his own one, "Now, talk"

"'Bout what?" she asked sinking the rest of her cosmo, shaking the empty glass at him with a grin.

"Do it your bloody self" he said with a shake of his head, smiling when she laughed at him and jumped over the bar.

The club had been empty for an hour now and they had not long finished the usual tasks; closing out the tills, cleaning, doing the books. She had said goodbye to her regulars and accepted the drinks they had bought her, pocketing the cash instead of actually drinking them.

Ethan watched her put together her cocktail, grinning when she made enough for five of them, "I want you to unload everything you've been keeping bottled up"

"Not sure that's a good idea" she said as she hopped up onto the bar next to him, "sometimes it's better if you keep it to yourself"

"Not when you're super powered and will be spending the better part of a day inside a metal tube thirty thousand feet up it's bloody not" he said finishing his beer and lining up another four shots each.

"Ooh shiny" she said before knocking back two of them.

"Steady on luv" Ethan said half heartedly, he knew from experience she talked when she was drunk, that's how he found out where Ripper was living.

"I'm kid free for the next two days so why the fuck can't I let loose a little?" she asked draining her cosmo and pouring another.

"I said steady not stop" Ethan said with a cocky grin, "and stop changing the subject and, what is it you said last time, uh yes, spill already"

Buffy spat her shot out as his words made her laugh, rocking back on the bar far enough to fall off of it with a yelp.

Ethan lunged over the bar in a panic and shook his head when he saw her curled up on her side laughing. By the time he had walked around the bar to help her up she had curled into a ball, her laughter having turned to sobs.

"There it is" he whispered before kneeling down next to her and pulling her into his arms, "Hush luv, it's okay" he muttered.

"He doesn't love me any more and it's all my fault" she mumbled, pushing her self off of his lap and wiping her eyes, "Maybe I should have stayed with him instead of leaving again"

"That would have been a bloody stupid idea" Ethan said shifting around until his back was against the bar, "and anyone can see that the berk still loves you, if he didn't he'd be balls deep in some other woman by now"

"Ethan!" she gasped glaring at him.

"Sorry but it's true" he said with a shrug.

"How do you know it would have been a bad idea?" she asked taking them back to the original topic, "it might have worked" she pouted reaching up and getting her cocktail and his beer.

"For him maybe but you would have been miserable and probably near tears constantly until you finally snapped and ran off" Ethan said taking his beer from her when she handed it to him with a roll of her eyes.

"And you know that for sure do you" she said giving him a sideways look.

"Well no but I do know you were still hurting when you showed up here, would hear you crying in the night sometimes" he said pausing to lift his bottle to his mouth, "and Bash would tell me you were sad so there's that too"

Buffy sighed and stood, swinging her arms and rolling her shoulders, "Sometimes I dream about what it would have been like but I just wake up feeling a need to cry or hit something, or both" she said with a shrug.

"Is that why you went for the Varlets so hard? The need to vent?" he asked her trying his best to sound inquisitive and not annoyed.

She blushed and looked away from him, "Maybe" she said sheepishly.

Ethans mouth dropped open in shock before he snapped it shut and glared at her, "Come on pet I think we need to be a lot more drunk for this to work" he said pushing himself to his feet with a groan.

"Getting old Ethan" Buffy said behind him and he could hear the grin in her voice.

"No I'm bloody not, you take that back" he snarled at her, the expression on his face softening when he heard her giggle.

"More shiny purple ones, they're my favourite" she called out as she walked towards the restrooms.

"Coming right up luv" he called back, smiling to himself as he pulled the bottle of truth oil out of his pocket, he had gotten it from the Witch he had a mutually beneficial relationship with.

Humming the way she had told him to he added a single drop in each of her shot glasses and then put it back in his pocket before adding the drink she had requested.

He had to get her to talk to him before she left, he wouldn't have another chance to do it without the others around and he knew her well enough by now to know that she was holding something back.

He just didn't now why it was so important that he had to find out what it was.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

 **Rating: T**

Chapter 9

"Bash sit still, please" Buffy groaned, her head still pounding from the hangover that didn't seem to be going away, "It's not long now sweetie"

"But I'm bored" Bash whined then yawned again while fidgeting in his seat.

"Go to sleep for a little while then" she said pulling him out of his seat and on to her lap, "C'mon Mummy sleep too"

"Buffy let me take him" Giles said from the aisle seat, turning slightly so he could awkwardly extend his legs as much as he could.

"S'okay Giles, I got him" she said, gently rocking side to side in her seat as she rubbed her thumb back and forth over his temple. She stopped rocking with a moan, "Not a good idea" she mumbled.

"What in the world did you drink with Ethan?" he asked with a grin. She had appeared in the lobby of the hotel with Willow and Xander the previous evening, wearing dark sunglasses but still shying away from any bright light and still a little drunk.

"I have no idea but it was shiny and purple, definitely yummy" she said with a smirk, her eyes still closed, "Then we had mimosas and cocktails while I was being pampered and he got a full body massage off of some woman who didn't even work there" she frowned as she tried to remember more of the night but couldn't.

"Glad you had a good time" Giles said with a chuckle, "although you're paying for it now"

"Worth it" she mumbled happily.

Giles watched them both sleeping, Bash sucking on his fingers and snuggling deeper into Buffy's lap, his other hand gripping her shirt. Buffy's head had dropped to rest against the top of Bash's but her hand was still curled around Bash's cheek and her arm still tightly around his waist holding him on her lap.

His mind drifted to the quiet drink he'd had with Ethan a few nights before and finally having buried the hatchet with him. Being able to once again part ways as friends had been a relief, his gratitude towards him for making sure that Buffy had someone there for her and his obvious love for Bash had made it easy for him to let go of most of his resentments.

Bringing Eyghon back into his life and turning him into a demon would take a little longer for him to forgive though.

After an hour or so of his own light dozing he opened his eyes to see them both still fast asleep. He reached over and lightly brushed her hair out of her face, not moving when she turned her head and looked at him with a sleepy smile. He felt the connection between them flicker and open just the tiniest bit. Then she frowned and it vanished just as quickly.

"Sorry Giles I...I can't" she mumbled looking away from him. She gently shifted Bash off her lap and back onto his seat, laying his head on Giles' knee, "I've just gotta..." she trailed off as she stood and shuffled passed him, ignoring the tightening in her stomach when she felt him grab her hand.

"Buffy please..." he said in a whisper, everything about him telling her he was desperate to keep her there. To talk her into opening the bond again, to get her to tell him what was bothering her. She didn't know herself and she didn't want to find out while trapped thirty thousand feet in the air.

"Don't" she said and pulled her hand back, walking away down the isle.

"What happened?" Willow asked from behind him.

He turned a little in his seat, as much as he was able to with Bash's head on his leg, "Nothing she needed the bathroom" he told her with a tight smile.

"Bull" she said narrowing her eyes in suspicion, "She opened it didn't she"

"For a few seconds yes" he admitted, glancing at the still snoring Xander.

Willow sighed and sat back, "She's getting there Giles, it's all on you now, you need to forgive her"

Giles nodded his head and faced forwards again, his hand idly rubbing Bash's back when he stirred. He didn't want this to go on but he hadn't magically arrived at the place where he could forgive her in the last two days despite how much he wanted to. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the seat, isolating the memory of those precious few seconds the bond had been open and reliving it.

He felt her slide past him a few minutes later, her knees brushing against his, but kept his eyes closed and his breathing even not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. He opened his eyes just a little and watched her pull her legs up so her feet were on the seat, her arms wrapping around her shins as she lay her head on her knees and stared out of the little window.

He closed his eyes again, not wanting to see her pain anymore. He went over the last twelve hours, most of which had been on a plane with an active three year old, to keep from dwelling on the image she presented. Bash had been fine surprisingly enough until they left New York and had been in the air for two hours, by which time he had decided he was bored and hungry and didn't want to fly anymore.

Buffy had been amazing. Even with what seemed to be the hangover from Hell she didn't panic, ignored the withering glares from a couple of the other passengers and had magically produced his favourite snacks, drink and a little handheld game to occupy him. That had worked for a couple of hours until he started to get tired which had brought them to here; Bash asleep stretched between them and Buffy retreating back into herself and away from him.

Sighing he opened his eyes and looked straight at her when the seat belt sign dinged and the captain made his announcement. She gave him an apologetic smile and set about gently sitting Bash up so she could put his seat belt on before doing hers.

They heard a whack behind them, Buffy giggling when Xander snorted and Willow hissed at him that he needed to put his seatbelt on. Buffy turned in her seat and watched as a still mostly asleep Xander buckled himself in then dropped his head back against the headrest with his mouth open. Sharing a grin with Willow she dissolved into silent giggles, slapping a hand over her mouth when Willow let out a snort at the same time Xander farted.

She glanced at Giles and saw him shaking with suppressed laughter as well, his face red from the effort. Then Bash wiggled and stretched, blinking the sleep from his eyes as he looked at his parents laughing. He wrinkled his nose and looked back at them at the same time they smelled what he did.

"Eeww Mummy who farted?" he asked earning a snicker from the people in the seats in front of them and across the isle.

Just then Xander came fully awake and covered his nose with his hand, "God, what is that smell?" he moaned.

"That would be you" Willow said smacking his arm with the hand not covering her mouth, "Idiot, apologise to the nice people trapped in this stench cloud"

He turned bright red and looked around at the other people holding their noses, "Sorry folks, at least we're nearly on the ground".

Buffy gave in and let the laughter go until she was gasping for breath, Giles and Willow joining her while Bash, not knowing what was so funny, laughed at the noises his parents were making. Some of the other passengers were grumbling and shooting Xander dirty looks but a few were laughing along with them.

Xxxxxxxxxx

"Bash, sweetie please, just hold my hand and walk nicely okay" Buffy said tiredly, looking down at him stumbling along beside her, "Just for a little while longer and then you can sleep for as long as you want I promise"

Giles watched silently as she cajoled Bash into walking a few steps further then sigh and pick him up when he started to cry again, juggling both handles of their cases into one hand. He quickly caught up to them and took the crying boy from her, turning him and settling him so he had his head laying on his shoulder, "Ssh Bash, sleep it's okay" he murmured rubbing his back.

Buffy gave him a tired sigh and looked up at him gratefully, her eyes showing signs of a headache. It had taken them nearly two hours to get through customs and collect their bags, Bash whining and crying about being tired and hungry and Buffy, whose hangover was at it's peak, had snapped at the first person to complain about him. Xander had bravely stepped between them to prevent a possible beating and had told him to piss off.

The sole reason they had gotten the five am flight was to arrive in England before Bash's usual bedtime so he could sleep off the jet lag and hopefully not be as affected by it. But that plan, in Buffys words, had gone to shit when they saw how busy Heathrow was.

His dour mood lightened considerably when they neared the passenger pick up point and he saw Dawn standing there waving cheerfully, a huge smile on her face.

"Hey guys!" she cried rushing over for hugs when they got closer.

Buffy grunted and tugged the two suitcases she was pulling to a stop, "I need a bed, food and a very long, hot shower, not necessarily in that order" she said when Dawn hugged her.

"Bad flight?" Dawn asked moving to take one of the suitcases from Buffy.

"Irritable three year old" Xander said with a smirk, "Buffy nearly decked a guy in line at customs coz he complained about Bash's crying"

"I don't see a legion of big burly security guards so I'm guessing you didn't break anything" Dawn said trying not to laugh.

"Dawn, it's great to see you an all but could we get out of here please" Buffy moaned, "Bed, food, shower remember?"

"Oh right, yeah, catch up tomorrow, let's go" she said and led them out of the airport to one of the parking lots, "Where are we going first?"

Giles told her they were going to his house where they would all spend the next few days until Buffy's things arrived and she moved to the big house on the outskirts of London once owned by Travers.

Bash didn't even stir when Giles strapped him into his car seat and he watched as Buffy climbed onto the seat opposite him, curled up like a cat and immediately fell asleep.

"Whoa, she okay?" Dawn asked, helping Xander and Willow load the last few bags.

"Hungover" Willow said, "she went out with Ethan two nights ago and carried on drinking with him the next day" she giggled then leant in like she was sharing a secret, "Me and Xander picked her up on the way to the airport hotel and she was sitting in the lobby with her suitcase looking like a zombie"

Dawn laughed as she slammed the back doors shut. Giles immediately looked over at Bash and Buffy but they hadn't even twitched and he breathed a sigh of relief before climbing in and sitting in the chair in front of Bash.

Dawn babbled happily as they made their way to his house on Upper Montagu Street, rush hour making the journey longer, and it was a while before she realised that they had all drifted off. She grinned to herself and turned the radio up a little, softly singing along as she drove through London. They didn't even notice when she made a stop at the supermarket and added a weeks worth of groceries to the pile of suitcases in the back.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Giles had to hide a smile when he saw Buffy's reaction to his house and when he told her that he mainly used the ground floor and saw her hopeful expression he knew that if he asked her to stay then she would accept.

Bash looked around with wonder as Giles took them up to the second floor and grinned at Buffy when he felt her happiness when she found out that the whole floor was hers if she wanted it. Giles took them up to the third floor pointing out his room and then pointing out the room Bash could use across the hall, chuckling when Bash ran in and lay down on the queen sized bed already there.

"Sleep for long time now Mummy?" he asked kicking his shoes off.

"Have a shower first sweetie and then something to eat and then you can sleep, for the rest of the week if you want to" she said holding her hand out to him.

He wriggled off the bed and ran over to her, tugging on her hand until she bent at the waist, "Can we stay here forever?" he whispered loudly in her ear, tickling her with his breath. He knew he could talk to her mind but he preferred to talk out loud right now so his Daddy could hear it too. He didn't know why but he could talk to his Mummy or his Daddy but he couldn't talk to both of them together even when he tried really hard.

"I'd love it if you stayed here Bash, Mummy too" Giles said from the doorway behind them.

Buffy turned to face him with the beginnings of a smile on her face, "Really? You won't mind?" she asked. She hadn't wanted to move into Travers' mausoleum and had been seriously considering selling it and buying a smaller place closer to Giles for Bash. But moving in with Giles, despite the obvious tensions it could cause, would be so much easier.

"Of course not, why would I?" he said easily, "And before you say it I will phone the freight company and ask if they can deliver your things here"

Buffys smile almost blinded him with its brilliance as she picked Bash up and spun him around laughing happily.

"Okay Bash you stay with Daddy and have a shower while I go and help the others with the bags" she said putting him on the floor, brushing a hand down Giles' arm as she passed him.

"Can I have shower downstairs or upstairs?" Bash asked as he let Giles lead him from the room.

"Downstairs if you like that way I can make you something to eat while you wash the plane off you" Giles said walking behind him on the stairs.

Bash stopped on the landing and looked up it him, "But I not wearing plane Daddy" he said completely baffled.

Giles laughed loudly, "It's just an expression Bash, it's what people say when they've been on a plane for a long time"

"Oh...Why?"

Giles groaned, knowing that if he indulged in his questions he wouldn't stop until all his curiosity was satisfied, and got him moving again, "I'll explain it properly tomorrow when we've all had a chance to rest" he said watching Bash jump down the last three steps, the familiar sensation of his heart leaping into his throat sweeping over him as he did.

"Okay" Bash said then ran over to Buffy who was unpacking his wash bag from his suitcase.

After Buffy had unpacked hers and Bash's things, made sure Bash had his teddy and tucked him into his bed, she had stumbled down the stairs to her rooms. Hearing the others talking and laughing downstairs as they ate, she smiled before walking into her bathroom and turning the shower on as hot as she could take it then stood under the spray until she felt halfway human again.

Dressing in her sweats and a tank top, she sat on her bed towelling her hair dry. The CD of soft, almost peaceful, classical music that she had found in her stereo was doing a good job of relaxing her to the point she just wanted to close her eyes.

She forced herself to stand and took the towel back to the bathroom before climbing the stairs to Bash's room. She stood in the doorway watching him sleep for a few minutes before walking forward, pulling the cover back and climbing into bed with him. She folded her arm under her head and lay her hand over his, a tender smile growing when he tightened his grip and rolled onto his side, letting go of her hand. He curled into her, nuzzling his head against her chest, and she wrapped her arm around him, closing her eyes as she hummed the piece of music she had been listening to downstairs.

An hour after he had heard her shower stop, Giles took a sandwich and a cup of hot chocolate up to her. He knocked on her door with his elbow, waiting for her to answer but when none came he pushed it open and frowned when he saw her room empty. He put the plate and cup down on the dresser and climbed the stairs to Bash's room, realising she might be checking on him.

He stood in the doorway, unconsciously mirroring Buffy's earlier pose, watching them both sleep. He walked further into the room and pulled the cover up a little more over the two of them and bent down lightly brushing a kiss on Bash's head. He started to straighten but as he did he looked down at Buffy, her face open and relaxed. He lightly brushed a few strands of hair back off her face and gave in to the urge to brush a kiss at her temple.

He felt the burn of the bond, much as he had standing in her kitchen, and backed away while he still had enough control to do so. He left the room with one last look at the two of them, collected the plate and cup from her room and returned to the others downstairs. Willow and Dawn were still sat at the table talking quietly, Xanders absence told him he had already given in to the fatigue that plagued them all and had gone to bed.

"She can't not be hungry" Dawn said in disbelief when he entered the kitchen.

"She's asleep with Bash, I didn't want to wake her" he said not realising he looked like a man completely besotted as he wrapped the plate in cellophane and put it in the fridge.

Willow and Dawn looked at each other, smirking at the look on his face as he tipped the hot chocolate down the sink and washed the cup.

"Well I'm heading down now" Willow said sliding her chair back and standing, "Do you need anything done before I go?"

"No, no, you go on to bed," he said turning from the sink wiping his hands on a dish towel, "I'm going to retire soon myself"

Dawn tutted and rolled her eyes as she stood as well, "Ya know 'I'm tired too' works just as well right?" she teased, grinning at his glare.

"Yes but those of us with a basic command of the English language like to use it correctly" he said stuffily before breaking into a grin at their identical glares, "Me sleep too" he said imitating Bash and both girls burst into laughter as they took the stairs down to their rooms.

He draped the dish towel over the side of the sink and turned the light off before moving through the house on his way upstairs, checking everything was locked and shut. As he got to the bottom of the stairs leading to the third floor he saw Buffy standing at her window from the corner of his eye.

"Buffy?" he called softly taking a step towards her door.

"Hmm?" she responded absently not turning from whatever it was she was staring at.

"What is it?" he asked stepping into her room concerned now.

"There's three vampires outside" she said and he noticed for the first time that she was wearing jeans and a turtle neck sweater, her cheeks showing traces of tears that sparkled in the moonlight.

"Yes I imagine there is" he said putting his hand on her shoulder as he looked down to the street below, ignoring the way she stiffened slightly, "London remains quite active until the early hours so there are a lot of vampires here"

"But they haven't moved for fifteen minutes" she said still staring at them.

"There are thirty six Slayers that patrol in pairs across London Buffy, you needn't worry about going out there" he said turning her to face him, "You don't ever have to worry about going out there again".

She smiled up at him sadly and pulled away from him, picking up the scythe from where she had placed it against the wall after she had gotten dressed, "Oh I know" she whispered, wiping her cheeks with her free hand, "That's not what's bothering me" she said before she left the room.

A few minutes later he saw her running headlong at the vampires, scattering them like bowling pins. She beheaded one and staked another in one swing and then as Giles watched, his hands pressed against the glass in horror, she swung the scythe back and beheaded the one who thought he was sneaking up on her.

She smiled up at Giles and he couldn't help but smile back. He had missed this, as perverse as that was, she was poetry in motion when she fought after all. She walked back towards the house, her scythe slung over her shoulder, and Giles watched when she stopped and turned towards the other end of the street.

He opened the window, ignoring the bite of the cold November air rushing in, and leaned out looking in the same direction she was staring. There were two girls running towards her and one glance at Buffy told him she wasn't worried.

She put the scythe at her feet and held her arms out, trotting forward a few steps before the first girl got to her. She hugged her then the next one, all three laughing, and Giles smiled when he recognised who they were.

Cailey and Alisa, two of the girls Buffy had found and sent to him five years ago now. He shut the window and watched as they laughed together, an idea forming in his mind that quickly took root and grew into a plan.

Buffy glanced up at the house just as Giles looked at something behind him. The girls noticed her frown and looked in the same direction, breaking out into identical grins when they saw Giles reappear with Bash in his arms.

"Is that the baby?" Cailey asked waving up at him.

"Yeah, he'll be four soon" Buffy said smiling up at her guys. Whether Giles had forgiven her or not, whether they were speaking or not, she still thought of him as her guy.

"Wow that went by fast!" Cailey said with wide eyes, surprised at how quickly the time had passed.

"Mr Giles has pictures of you in office" Alisa said, smiling up at Bash who now had his face and hands pressed up against the window.

"He does?!" Buffy said surprised, looking back at her in shock.

"Oh yeah and he gets this sappy proud look on his face when he talks about you, totally gag worthy but kinda sweet too" Cailey said smirking at her blush.

"I never knew that" Buffy said thoughtfully looking back up at them.

"He has letter from you in wallet too" Alisa said starting to look up and down the street.

"Really? He still has that thing?" Buffy said almost to herself. She noticed that both girls were now starting to get antsy and a wave of nostalgia swept through her, "How about I come see you all at the training facility next week? I'll even bring Bash to say hi"

"Really?" Cailey said eagerly. At Buffy's nod both her and Alisa grinned, "Oh that would be wicked wouldn't it" Cailey said nudging Alisa with her elbow.

Alisa nodded in agreement, "Yes, we could train with legend that is Buffy Summers" she said with a laugh at Buffy's blush.

"It's a deal, I'll see you next week. Stay safe" Buffy said seriously and all three girls hugged goodbye before Buffy watched them run off down the street.

Giles watched her stare after the girls before picking up the scythe and jogging back to the house, "See Bash Mummy's fine, she's coming back now" he told him turning and sitting on her bed with him.

Bash wiggled around until he was sitting across his legs and laid his head against his chest, "Bad demon" Bash hiccuped as he wiped his face on Giles' shirt.

"Yes they were bad demons but Mummy chased them away" Giles said rubbing his back. He looked up when he saw movement in the hall and smiled when he saw Buffy staring at them.

"What's the matter sweetie?" Buffy asked putting the scythe in the wardrobe.

"Bad demon" he said again holding his arms up for her.

"Oh honey it's okay, bad demon gone" she cooed lifting him into her arms.

Giles watched as she swayed side to side, humming a lullaby while rubbing his back, "How are the girls?" Giles asked in a whisper when Bash had drifted off.

"Fine, I'm going to see them all at the training facility next week" she whispered back turning towards the door.

Giles waited where he was, thinking about how he could implement his plan and when the best time to approach her with it would be. She walked through the door five minutes later tugging her sweater over her head to reveal a plain purple vest.

"He's fast asleep again" she said dropping her sweater on the chair by the window, "It's okay right, that I go see them?" she asked him.

"Of course it is why wouldn't it be?" he asked her genuinely baffled by her need for permission.

"I dunno, just wanted to make sure and don't go making a big thing out of it, no Watcher juniors or trainees, I just wanna catch up with them maybe spar a little, take Bash to say hi" she said pulling a pair of pyjama shorts out of a drawer.

"Of course Buffy whatever you want" he said rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, snapping a little as her fatigue came crashing in.

"What? I meant nothing by it Buffy" he said staring at her in shock. He was a little taken aback by her sudden change in mood.

She stared at him, her eyes narrowed with suspicion, before turning and walking across the hall to her bathroom. She pushed the door too and he heard the sound of her zipper followed by the rustle of fabric as she changed.

She came back a few seconds later, folding her jeans and placing them back in the drawer. She stood awkwardly in the middle of the room for a few seconds before walking towards the bed.

"I'm gonna go to sleep now I think" she said, tugging at the quilt and folding it back ready for her to climb in.

"Yes of course" Giles muttered, blushing as he stood and walked to the door.

He heard her shifting in the bed behind him and when he turned to pull the door closed he saw her laying on her side facing him, her head on the pillow she seemed to be hugging. He shut the door without saying anything and climbed the stairs to his room in regretful silence.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

 **Rating: T**

Chapter 10

Buffy was ready to snap.

They'd been living in the same house for six months now. Six months of playing pretend families with overly polite conversations. Neither of them wanted to venture too far outside of safe territory and accidentally step foot into what they really needed to talk about.

Six months of bending to fit around what he wanted to do because of the guilt she still felt, had always felt, and he was still keeping her at arms length. He was still looking at her as if she was the Messiah and could walk on water but she was not quite good enough to be forgiven for a choice she made when she chock full of baby hormones and thought he had moved on from her.

She had given in and spent Christmas with them, same with New Years and her birthday all because he had told her that it would mean a lot to him if they could spend it together as a family. Plus, Willow, Dawn and Xander wouldn't let her bow out, guilting her into it more than Giles was by pointing out they hadn't had a chance to celebrate properly since she left.

Bash's birthday had been such a happy day for him and Giles. She had done her bit in the morning, watching him open his presents, given him his hugs and birthday bounces like she had for the last few years and then retreated to the training facility for the rest of the day until Ethan had shown up. After he had spent time with Bash he had dragged her out of the house and made her laugh again while plying her with booze.

Giles had eventually told her about his plan the evening she had returned from seeing the girls. The first time she went to see them she had stayed for an entire afternoon just chatting with them, catching up and introducing Bash. After that she had agreed easily to his plan because it was what she wanted to do and not because it made him happy for her to do it.

That first time there were nearly fifty girls waiting for her in the gym and she had been overwhelmed with how grateful most of them were and how worshipful others were. If she was honest with herself she didn't like it, not really, not beyond the first few minutes anyway.

When she settled into training them she held a class twice a week, twenty five girls in each class rotating through the complete roster of girls through the month. Once a month she held an extra two classes a week focusing on meditation. Those classes were bigger because no physical activity happened beyond stretching and the balancing techniques Giles had taught her.

But today she was in need of a good fight. A real knock down drag out fight like the kind she and Faith used to have when the Hellmouth was quiet to release all the pent up Slayage tension. She walked through the doors to the big gym and into a fight already in progress.

Grinning with satisfaction she whistled loudly getting their attention, "What the Hell guys?" she asked dropping her bag on one of the chairs along the back wall.

The girls all turned to face her and she recognised that same need to release the tension she used to experience, "Let me guess," she said while she went through a few idle stretches, "It's been a slow month"

Rebecca snorted, "You could say that" she said starting to copy what Buffy was doing.

Buffy kept her grin to herself when she noticed the others doing it too. She gripped her left foot behind her back and pulled, bending it until her toes touched the back of her head, noticing them do the same.

"Yeah it's way dead out there" Sophie called out dropping her leg back to the floor, "Pun intended".

Buffy gave up and smirked at them, "Fancy a fight then girls?" she asked bouncing from side to side on the balls of her feet, rolling her head on her neck.

"What d'ya mean?" "Stephanie asked, a confused frown on her face.

"Come at me," Buffy said dropping into a loose defensive stance, "No weapons. Don't hold back. But pull the blow before you break something or cause serious damage" she said casually, her memory returning to the day she had said the same thing to Faith.

Before Faith had come along Giles had engaged her in some pretty epic sword fights to give her an outlet for her energy. Sometimes they had left him gasping for breath and unable to lift a book for a couple of days.

"Who's first" Charlie called out eagerly and Buffy saw the same eagerness on the faces of all of them.

"Who says it has to be one at a time" Buffy said with a predatory grin, "When you're ready" she said standing up straight and closing her eyes.

Thanks to all the training she had been doing with them, all of her abilities were fully functional again and she had yet to show them this trick. Her grin widened when she felt their hesitation and raised her hands making the universal 'come and have a go' gesture, eyes still shut.

She let her senses reign and felt four of them run at her. She waited until she could hear their breathing then spun, delivering a perfect roundhouse knocking two of them down. She heard the gasps from the others and laughed. She bent backwards avoiding the kick from Rebecca, continuing back into a flip, flicking her foot out at the last second and connecting with Rebecca's chin, knocking her backwards and off her feet.

She could feel Sam behind and to the left of her, could feel her smugness that she had managed to get that close, before spinning and catching her fist with her right hand then delivering a backhand with her left.

She turned back to the others and opened her eyes, checking the girls she had knocked down were okay with a quick glance, "I'll teach you all that trick at the end of the month" she said to her awestruck audience as she helped each of the grinning girls to their feet, "Anyone else wanna go before we bring out the swords?"

They all mirrored her grin and charged.

Giles showed up ten minutes later to see how things were going and stared into the room in horror. It was a total melee of Slayers beating the crap out of each other. He pulled open the door and stormed in.

"What in the Hell is going on in here?" he shouted bringing the fight to a complete stop.

"Hey Giles" Buffy called from the back of the room, wiping blood from her lip and sporting what was already an impressive black eye, "Just a little release of Slayage tension that's all"

Giles looked around the room at the other girls nodding in agreement, half a dozen laying slumped against the back wall unconscious. He remembered when Buffy would go through this and understood what was happening.

"Ah, well how about a sword fight my dear, show them how it's done" he said shrugging out of his suit coat and draping it over the back of a chair, his tie joining it a few seconds later.

Buffy grinned in anticipation and walked over to the weapons room to retrieve the swords, handing one to Anita and another to Rebecca just in case.

Buffy threw a sword to Giles laughing when the girls gasped as he caught it easily. She spun her sword around her a few times getting a feel for it as she walked forward, the girls backing up against the walls, all of them sporting one or more of a bruise, a limp or a bloody nose, a couple of them favouring their arms or shoulders or rubbing their heads too.

She saluted Giles with her sword, a little thrill running through her at the thought of going toe to toe with him again. He saluted her and they both held their swords in the en garde position before Giles took the offensive and charged her.

She blocked him easily, parried every blow, concentrating solely on his movements like he had taught her, until she looked into his eyes and saw something burning in them that called to her on a primal level.

The very thin thread tethering her patience and her already tenuous hold on her emotions snapped. She felt every ounce of frustration and anger, every spike of pain, every heart wrenching second she had buried her head in her pillow to smother the sobs.

She went on the offensive, forcing him to change tactics rapidly as she spun and ducked under his parries, knocking him back. The plethora of emotions, good and bad, she had been suppressing roared to the surface and took over as the clang of steal rang around the room.

"Rebecca!" she called out holding her hand out as she blocked Giles' attack and felt her throw the sword she had been holding.

She caught it without looking and brought it down against his sword, "You want a second?" she asked as he panted for breath, a hint of fear in his eyes at the way she was attacking him.

He held his hand out and caught the blade Anita tossed towards him, grateful they were using the lightweight training swords, forcing Buffy back as he pulled his sword up, swiping away her blades. For twenty minutes they fought evenly, Giles' skill matching her strength, until he saw something shift in her and he began to feel genuine fear when a particularly vicious swing cut through one of his blades.

She finished the fight by disarming him of the other sword with a casual flick of her wrist and spun, backing him against the wall with two swords crossed at his throat. She was glaring at him as she backed away and dropped the swords at his feet.

The girls gave a tentative round of applause and began murmuring between themselves as Buffy walked over to her bag and retrieved her towel. She kept her back to Giles as she rubbed the sweat from her face and neck, chugging a bottle of water.

She felt him walk up behind her, his jumbled thoughts almost screaming at her, and not wanting to deal with him she draped the towel over her shoulder, grabbed her bag and walked out, ignoring him as he called her name.

Xxxxxxxxxx

"Are you alright Buffy?" Giles asked her later that night after Bash was in bed, "You seemed a little off today, angry actually"

"And you started caring when?" she asked him, putting her book down and looking over at him with eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Of course I care, I've always cared" he said a slightly wounded expression flickering over his face.

"Could have fooled me. For the last six months whenever you've spoken to me outside of Council business or when it has something to do with Bash it's always about how you'd feel or what you'd want" she said in an emotionless voice, picking her book up again and returning to the last sentence she had read.

"I thought it would make you happy staying here for the holidays and your birthday. I thought you wanted that too" he said and she could hear the wounded inflection in his voice.

She knew if she looked up she would see his sad face and sighed, "What I wanted?" she asked looking up at him anyway, shutting her book and standing, wine glass in hand, "As if any of this is how I wanted it" she hissed before walking towards the kitchen.

"I would have wanted to know I had a son before he ran into your hospital room so it looks as if we are both disappointed" he muttered as she walked past him.

She whirled on him, her eyes flashing dangerously, "What do you want from me!" she shouted at him, "Huh? What. Do. You. Want? I do everything you ask of me, everything. I stay here with Bash so you can both have that and you're just keeping me dangling on strings like I'm nothing more than your puppet, pulling them when you want something. And I give it to you, every fucking time, hoping that maybe, just maybe, you'll finally forgive me. You don't see me or what it's doing to me, you don't care that it's killing me!"

He stared at her in shock as she furiously spun and stalked into the kitchen, slamming her glass down in the sink hard enough to shatter it. She stormed back into the room, not looking at him as she passed him, cradling the hand she had cut on the glass across her chest.

"If you can't forgive me Giles, if you don't think you ever can then tell me and let me go" she said, her voice hard enough to cut glass as she walked through the room to the stairs.

He stood and moved to follow her stopping suddenly when he heard her telling him to stay away from her in his head. He angrily ripped his glasses off and threw them onto the sofa, his jaw clenching as he paced back and forth at the bottom of the stairs, wondering if he should just go up there anyway.

He heard the water filling her bath tub and sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat as he collapsed onto the sofa next to his glasses. _What the Hell is wrong with me?_ he thought to himself. He thought back over the last six months, looking at it from her perspective, and he realised she was right.

He had manipulated her into agreeing every single time he had asked something personal of her and he saw her in his memories as if for the first time. He saw how miserable she was, how the spark of hope in her eyes when she looked at him had begun to fade.

And then there was Ethans visit and the conversation they had shared over a drink in his study after Ethan had deposited an unconscious Buffy onto the sofa.

" _Why did you drag her out of the house?" he had asked him trying to keep the jealousy he was feeling from colouring his voice._

" _Because she was drowning, couldn't you tell? Or were you too wrapped up in being able to play happy families and spending time with your son that you haven't noticed her smiles were brittle, her laughs hollow, unless it was Bash making her laugh?" Ethan said while swirling the contents of his glass._

" _I hadn't noticed no" he'd murmured, "but I'm no longer required to keep such a close eye on her, I've fallen out of the habit of noticing every little thing"_

" _So? Look, Rupert, she may not be your Slayer anymore..."_

" _She will always be my Slayer" he said forcefully._

" _Fine but she's also the woman you love and your continued punishment of her leaving, of keeping Bash from you...it needs to stop" Ethan said glaring at him, "you wanted to know why I started to care for her, it's simple; she cares too much, about everyone and everything" he sat back and sighed, "plus I listened to her crying herself to sleep every night after she first moved in, not even I'm so heartless it didn't affect me" he finished lifting his glass to his lips and finishing his drink in one go._

" _How can I just forgive her for keeping my son from me Ethan? It's not as easy as that" Giles said finishing his own drink, images of her alone and crying filled his head._

" _Sure it is, get over yourself" Ethan said with a sarcastic grin as he stood on slightly wobbly legs._

" _Faith said that as well" Giles grumbled wondering if they were right._

" _Ah Faith" Ethan said his smile growing as he closed his eyes, "now that's a girl I wouldn't mind having wrapped around me, her ankles round my ears" he looked at Giles, "especially if all Slayers are as flexible as Buffy is"_

 _Giles flushed angrily and jumped to his feet, "If you laid a hand on her Ethan..."_

" _You'll what? Beat me half to death? Please Ripper, even if I deserved it you wouldn't risk upsetting Bash" he said with a cocky grin, "not that it would be any of your business if we did fuck each others brains out"_

" _She's my..."_

" _Your what? Slayer? Friend? Girlfriend? Mother of your child?" Ethan asked leaning over the back of the chair and staring at him, shrugging his shoulders and encouraging him to answer with an expectant glare, "She was single and I'm me so there was nothing stopping us really. We worked together, lived next door to each other, I watched Bash when she would go hunting, sat in the office with him when we were working, could have had her bent over the bar making her scream..."_

" _Please, Ethan, tell me you didn't?" Giles begged him, not caring that he was._

 _Ethan looked at him and saw the pain on his face, "Of course we didn't you fucking idiot, she would have put me in bloody traction if I had so much as looked at her like that"_

" _Then how would you know how flexible she was?" Giles asked sagging in relief and dropping back down into his chair._

" _Would watch her do her yoga in the middle of the club you berk how else would I know? I helped when she started to do it with Bash just in case he'd fall off" Ethan said with a shake of his head, "On that note I'm off, met a lovely couple that seemed interested in a good time and said I would meet them at the next club"_

 _Giles chuckled and shook his head in disbelief, "Still the same old sex mad Ethan"_

" _Too bloody right! If I had the choice of how I get to die then I would go out in the middle of an orgy" Ethan said dreamily, "and as long as I can get it up then I'm going to use it" and with a little flourish of his hands as he bowed slightly he was gone._

" _Have fun" Giles called after him, shaking his head at the evil laugh he received in reply._

He had watched Buffy after that and had seen what Ethan had meant, but he hadn't known how to fix it while he was still ambivalent towards her.

He crossed the room and picked up his book, turning the lights off before heading up to his room. He paused outside her bathroom as the taps shut off, hearing her muted hiss of pain and the slight clink of glass against the porcelain of the sink.

His hand paused just as he was about to knock, dropping it back to his side when he heard the sound of a muffled sob. He moved away and up the stairs, checking on Bash before turning into his room and shutting the door. He dropped down on his bed, listening to her move around below him, as he pulled his shirt off and begun his nightly routine.

He lay awake long into the night, his mind unable to shut down as he went over what had happened downstairs. He had dropped his barriers against her months ago, partly for both of their protection but mainly so he was ready for the day she felt ready to let him back in. So far she hadn't and he felt off balance because of it.

His mind travelled back to their sword fight and he shuddered involuntarily at the anger he had felt burning off of her, the anger in her eyes when she had recognised the passion in his. He hadn't been able to help his reaction to her, it had been automatic as he had watched her move.

The sound of the front door shutting pulled him from his reverie and he jumped from his bed in the span of a heartbeat. He got to the window just as she crossed the street in front of the house and jogged out of sight.

Sighing he got back into bed and waited for her to return.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Things had been tense between them since that night and Buffy had begun to actively patrol once again as a way to avoid him. Bash hadn't noticed, not that they knew, and his excitement about starting school in September kept him from questioning why she was sporting fresh injuries every couple of days.

But he had noticed, had felt it from both of them, and confided in his Aunty Dawn about it.

"Mum and Dad are fighting" Bash told her as she walked him to the park a month later. He had stooped calling them Mummy and Daddy when the kids at the park had teased him for being a baby.

"No they're not Bash, they're just real busy is all" she told him gently, the denial automatic even though it was obvious to a rock that things were less than stellar between them.

"They are, they don't talk to each other. Mum goes out every night fighting, she angry all the time and she won't let me help" he said sitting down on the grass behind the fence at the edge of the pond, dipping his hand into the bag of food to feed the ducks with.

Dawn sat next to him in contemplative silence. She knew they had fought last month, the story of their sword fight had spread through the council quickly, and Willow had rung her after Buffy had told her what had happened afterwards.

She looked at Bash, watching him feed the ducks with a solemn expression on his face that didn't belong on a four year old.

"She want to go downstairs" Bash said watching a swan climb up the bank towards the food he had scattered there.

"I know" Dawn whispered, "They love each other very much Bash" she told him, ducking her head to look into his eyes.

"They sad too" he said then looked up at her expectantly, "Can we make them not fight?"

Dawn grinned at him and huffed out a humourless chuckle, "Your Mom and Dad have a history of fighting Bash and no one can make them stop but them"

"Oh," Bash said looking back at the pond, "What about if I told them to stop, would that work?"

"Maybe" she said giving him a grin, "Wanna play on the swings?" she asked him wanting to distract him from the uncomfortable conversation.

Bash nodded happily and jumped up, running off towards the play area, giggling as Dawn chased him. He would worry about his parents later now he wanted Dawn to push him on the swings really high.

Xxxxxxxxxx

"Bash are you ready for your bath?" Giles asked him walking into his study, his eyes widening in surprise when he saw him reading from one of his diaries as Buffy's Watcher, "Bash! What are you doing reading that?" he snapped striding forward and taking it from him. Normally he didn't curb his curiosity and encouraged him to read whatever he liked, within reason, but his diaries contained details neither he, nor Buffy, wanted him to know.

Bash looked up at him thoughtfully, "You've always loved Mum" he said, his voice carefully neutral and Giles stared down at him, puzzled that he didn't seem to feel guilty for breaking the rules.

"Well yes, I, uh, I suppose I have in one way or another" he said as he put the diary back where it belonged, confused at his sons questions and wondering where this was going.

"Then why you mad at her?" Bash asked still sitting in Giles' chair and watching him, his green eyes reflecting an intelligence far beyond his years.

"I'm not mad at her Bash" Giles said gently, looking down at the floor doing his level best to hide his emotions from his son.

"Yes you are! I feel it" Bash said angrily, his eyes narrowing as he jumped from the chair, "Mum angry and sad all the time, you mad at her, hurting her"

"Bash...it's not that simple" he muttered, his voice now tinged with sadness, "She made a choice long ago..."

"Yeah you was happy, she thought you was happy and kept me secret" Bash said his eyes glinting defiantly in the lamplight as he stood in front of him with his hands on his hips, "You love her, she loves you, stop hurting her!"

Giles watched as Bash ran from the room, shame welling up inside of him at how his inability to get past his resentment was starting to affect Bash.

"What was that about?" Buffy asked walking into the room, pinning him with a glare that had him sighing in defeat.

"He told me to stop hurting you" he said honestly not missing the pleased tilt to her lips. He gritted his teeth as a wave of frustration surged through him and shoved his hands into his pockets, "He also said you loved me" he told her taking some satisfaction in the blush that blossomed on her cheeks at his words.

"It's not exactly a secret Giles" she said turning from him, "I'm gonna bath Bash and get him into bed before heading out".

He reached out and touched her arm, making her stop before she left the room, "Buffy...can we, uh, can we talk, please?"

She looked back at him and nodded, "Sure, I think it's time for a chat" she said then left the room.

He sighed in relief and sat on the edge of his desk listening to her call Bash for his bath. It was time to face the truth. He decided that if he cooked, distracting her with her favourite food she wouldn't feel so inclined to kill him.

At least he was hoping she wouldn't.

XXXXXXXXXX

Buffy watched Bash playing with his submarine and his shark, weaving them in and out of the mounds of bubbles and making the shark attack, dropping it on top of the submarine.

"Bash time to wash" she said sliding off of the toilet and reaching for the wash cloth and body wash.

"No! Don't wanna wash" he pouted kicking his feet at her when she tried to grab him.

She sighed and sat back, "Fine do it yourself but do it properly" she said handing him the soapy cloth and shaking her head with a grin when he stood and took it from her without any argument.

"I won't need to watch you in the bath much longer sweetie" she said laughing when he wiggled his butt on the cloth.

"I'm a big boy now" he said with a little bounce then slipped backwards.

Buffy lunged forward and caught him before he hit his head against the back of the bath and tutted, "Maybe you don't jump in the bath sweetie, I might not be there to catch you next time"

"Mum?" Bash asked, sitting now as he absently rubbed his chest with the cloth.

"Yes sweetie?" Buffy asked distractedly as she rubbed a towel over her arms.

"You not really going downstairs right?" he asked and she looked up at him, her mouth open in shock.

"Why do you ask?" she asked warily, taking the cloth from him and rubbing it over the back of his neck and behind his ears.

"Coz then you be allll the way at the bottom and I be allll the way at the top" he said showing her with his hands, "That's a long way when I have a bad dream"

Buffy smiled at him before standing then bending and lifting him from the tub, "Well," she said wrapping a towel around him, "it might be better for me and Dad if I did go downstairs" she said, gently rubbing him with the towel.

"Dad really loves you" he whispered staring at her with a serious expression that looked out of place on the innocent face.

"And I love your Dad but sometimes that's not enough" she said hugging him to her for a minute before pushing him away and pulling the towel up to dry his hair.

"What you mean?" he asked grinning at her laugh when she saw his hair.

Buffy thought about how to explain it so he would understand, watching as he made funny faces at his reflection in the shower door, "Do you remember when you had that bad cold a couple of months ago?" she asked him having finally settled on an idea.

"Yep, slime came outta my nose" he said trying to touch the tip of his tongue to the tip of his nose.

"Yes I remember" Buffy muttered with a grimace, "and do you remember when Xander brought some doughnuts with him when he came to visit and he left you one in a tub in the fridge?"

Bash nodded as she helped him into his pyjama pants.

"And I told you you couldn't eat it yet because you were going to bed but you didn't listen and ate it when I went to the toilet" she said smirking at the blush rising on his cheeks, "and then you ran around upstairs and jumped up and down on your bed until you were sick all over it and now you don't want to eat another one just in case"

"I love doughnuts but they make me sick" Bash whined as he sat on her lap.

"Well I love your Dad but we make each other sad sometimes and I don't want to make your Dad sad anymore" she said giving him a squeeze.

"Xander says if you give Dad a happy he won't be grumpy" Bash said squirming slightly when she lightly tickled him.

"Xander should learn to mind his own business" she muttered wishing she could put him in the padding again.

"Can you read me story?" he asked twisting round and laying his head on her shoulder.

"Sure I can sweetie, go pick one and get into bed while I soak up the lake you made" she said laughing at his eye roll.

"It not that bad, you say that every time" he said then ran out of the room laughing when she scowled at him.

Buffy quickly lay some towels on the floor to soak up the water then ran after him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

 **Rating: T/M**

Chapter 11

Buffy got Bash settled then cleaned up the bathroom before she followed her nose to the delicious smells coming from the kitchen. She saw Giles standing at the stove with a dish towel slung over his shoulder stirring something in a saucepan.

"Something smells good" she said leaning against the wall next to the fridge.

"Carbonara with tagliatelle" he said tipping the pasta into the colander, "There's an open bottle of wine on the table if you want some"

She looked over at the table and shook her head in resignation. He'd set the table for two complete with candles and napkins, the stereo playing soft romantic classics. She honestly wanted to run, not sure if she had the energy to deal with any sort of conversation that involved them, but after her conversation with Bash she decided she should at least give it a try.

"Are you trying to soften me up?" she asked pouring herself half a glass of Pinot Grigio Rose.

"Neither of us have eaten yet love, we can talk over dinner" he said as he started to add the pasta to the plates, ladling sauce on the top.

"Translation; I'm about to give you bad news so I figured I'd cook your favourite food, put some mushy songs on the radio and give you booze hoping you won't kill me" she said looking down into her glass, swirling the contents and ignoring the fact he had called her love again. She looked up at him and caught the flash of guilt in his eyes before he turned back to the dinner, "That about right?"

"Well, uh, I, it's not, uh, bad news…" he stuttered, flustered by her insight.

"Just tell me Giles" she said sitting at the table as he set the plates down. She waited until he'd sat down before lifting her fork and digging in, "S'good" she said around a mouthful of creamy pasta.

Giles' answering smile looked a little forced so she silently made her way through half of it before sitting back and watching him expectantly. He had played with his pasta more than he had eaten it but he put his fork on the plate and looked her in the eye.

"Out with it Giles" she said lifting her glass for a sip.

"I forgave you for not telling me about Bash months ago" he said in a rush and watched as she swallowed heavily and slowly put the glass back on the table.

"Ok" she said slowly, "So what has this all been about then? The snide comments about me keeping him from you, the weird looks, all of it?"

"I'm still holding onto a little resentment about it but you can't blame me for that" he said looking at his hand, his fingers playing with the stem of his wine glass, "What did Bash mean when he said you kept him secret because you thought I was happy?"

She blushed and looked at her plate, "Remember I told you I came back and thought your cousin was your girlfriend..."

"That's why you never told me?" he asked incredulously, "Buffy...no matter what was happening in my life I would never have turned him away"

She snorted derisively, "I know that Giles, I'm not completely stupid, but I also know that our bond was still drawing us together, even blocked like it was. Every time I even thought about leaving the country while I was pregnant I got sick, I lived in the street behind you because I couldn't stay further away than that for more than a couple of days..." she trailed off when he started to turn purple.

"You...you were...living..." he spluttered, so angry he couldn't get a sentence out.

"I thought you were happy and I didn't want to ruin that" she said in a whisper. She lifted her napkin from her lap and threw it on the table next to her plate as she stood, "I'm gonna move into a room downstairs, even if you have forgiven me there's something stopping you from wanting me back and I think it'll be for the best, for all of us"

Giles stood up suddenly, knocking his chair over, "No, you're not" he said, grabbing her upper arms and pulled her towards him. The idea that she was slipping further away from him terrified him and made him see the situation clearer which, in turn, made his desire to fix things between them become almost desperate in its urgency.

Before she could blink he had crushed his lips against hers, moving her backwards until her back hit a wall. She used the leverage and pushed him back so she could take a deep breath to clear the haze of want and need that was dangerously close to overwhelming her and ducked under his arm, moving to the middle of the room.

"What the hell Giles?" she said putting a hand on her chest and feeling the heartbeat that was pounding in her ears thundering under her palm.

"Let me in Buffy" he pleaded taking a step towards her.

"No!" she said taking a step back, "So you've forgiven me, great, good for you, but there's still something bugging you and I will not make the same mistakes over and over with you. I'm tired of hurting Giles" she said, tears spilling onto her cheeks.

"I'm jealous!" he said quickly moving closer to her before she could step back, "The way he is with you, the way he defends you..."

"What are you five! You're jealous of my relationship with him? Seriously!" she said, her eyes widened in disbelief as she swiped at her tears.

"I'm aware of how it sounds..." he started, stopping when she narrowed her eyes at him and growled low in her throat.

"It sounds like you've had one too many knocks to the head" she said walking over to the table and pouring more wine into her glass, "Jealous of your sons relationship with his mother...god Giles" she said shaking her head.

"I will never be able to apologise enough for what I've put you through but I want to feel you again, inside and out, I feel off balance like half of me is missing and nothing is right" he said taking the glass from her hand and leaning around her to put it on the table, "Please love, let me back in, I need you"

She chewed on her lip thoughtfully and closed her eyes, moving away from him towards the stairs. She put her hands in her back pockets and slowly blew out a breath. He watched her move further away and frowned slightly when she stopped and stood in the middle of the room but still faced away from him.

He felt a tingle in the back of his brain that slowly moved down his spine and spread out around his body. He closed his eyes when a warmth flooded through him and he gasped when it started to burn, his heart jumping erratically in his chest when he felt the bond opening more and more. It was as if she was physically opening a door between them and the wider it opened the more he felt.

He saw everything. He felt everything. He took a deep breath, whole once again and opened his eyes smiling happily, but she was gone. He looked around himself, frantically searching for her, and visibly slumped in relief when he saw her sitting at the table watching him.

"Feel better?" she asked, her voice hollow and guarded.

Frowning, he searched her emotions, thoughts and memories through the bond and quickly saw the reason she was distancing herself from him. She had felt his arousal and didn't want to go down that road just yet.

"I do yes, thank you Buffy" he said bending at the waist and dropping a gentle kiss on her head.

He felt the burn in his blood flare into a wildfire at the contact and backed up, not missing the way her eyes closed in relief. He started to feel insecure about why she didn't want him like that and tried to hide it from her, growing increasingly frustrated when he realised that he couldn't.

"I don't think we're going to be able to shut it off again Giles, at least not the way we could before" she told him gently, a smile twitching her lips as she drank her wine, "We've kept it tempered for too long and now we have no choice and there's no reason to feel insecure," she added finishing her wine and standing again, "if you look deeper you'll discover why I don't want to jump into bed with you straight away"

He watched her pick their plates up and take them into the kitchen, searching deeper like she suggested. He chuckled softly to himself when he found what he was looking for and his respect for her grew. She didn't want to rush it this time, especially as she had discovered a few more issues that he still held on to.

He looked over at the stairs when he heard a cry from Bash and glanced back at Buffy to see if she was going to him. He saw her standing at the sink, dish towel in her hands, staring into space. Frowning he stood and walked over to her, slowly reaching a hand out to shake her shoulder when she didn't react to his presence.

"Huh" she jumped a little and looked up at him, "You go, I've gotta..." she trailed off as she wiped her hands on the towel, dropping it on the counter next to the sink before turning the tap on.

He didn't know what to make of the sudden spike of pain he had felt from her and was about to ask her what was wrong when she answered his unspoken questions.

"I'm fine, I promise, you're not the only one with secrets Giles" she told him with a tired smile, "Best go see to Bash, he only ever has nightmares like this when he starts picking up on bad vibes from the universe" she said widening her eyes and wiggling her fingers in the air, grinning at his expression.

His eyes widened a little at that, half in surprise half in intrigue, and he quickly climbed the stairs to his son wondering all the while what secrets she was keeping from him.

She sent a mental picture of herself sticking her tongue out at him and he chuckled. A few seconds later he grimaced as the sound of a child retching and vomit hitting the tiled floor of the bathroom drifted down the stairs to greet him.

 _So not bad vibes then_ Buffys voice echoed in his head, _I'm not cleaning it up, it's your turn Daddy. I'll phone Will and cancel._

 _Ha Bloody Ha_ he thought back at her, steeling himself as he walked into the bathroom and saw the puddle of vomit on the floor at the feet of the crying four year old responsible for it.

Xxxxxxxxxx

It was three days before Bash started to feel better but, as usually happens, Giles came down with the same sickness bug a few days after that. Bash helped Buffy care for him, returning to his habit of speaking to them in his head now they had opened up to each other again.

A couple of days after he started to feel sick, Buffy woke in the middle of the night to find Giles sitting on the edge of her bed, shivering with fever cold.

"Giles? What's the matter?" she asked sitting up and sliding over to sit next to him, laying the back of her fingers against his forehead, feeling how warm he was.

"Wanted you" he muttered before laying down and rolling onto his side forcing her to stand.

She smiled sweetly down at him, brushing his hair back before tugging her quilt out from under him and covering him. She quickly ran downstairs and retrieved a couple of bottles of water for him and when she came back she grinned at his frown as he reached across the bed for her.

She put a bottle on the night stand next to him, putting the other on her side of the bed before sliding under the cover and curling up on her side facing Giles. He immediately wrapped an arm around her and pulled himself closer, his lips resting against her forehead. He was still shivering slightly so she pulled the quilt up higher and awkwardly tucked it around them both, closing her eyes with a sigh when she felt the bond humming happily with the contact.

When she woke a few hours later, the sun now up and the clock telling her it was seven forty five, he was still wrapped around her only now he was flushed and dripping with sweat. She gently untangled herself, biting back the laugh when he moaned and tried to tighten his hold on her like Bash had done the week before, and slid from the bed. She stripped off her own damp pyjama shirt, exchanging it for a tank top before stripping back her quilt and gently tugging him up to sit at the edge of the bed.

"Mum is Dad okay?" Bash asked from behind her and she looked over her shoulder to see him standing in her doorway sleepily rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah, just sweaty is all" she said bending slightly to get him to stand, "Can you go to Dad's room and pull his cover back please sweetie?"

Bash nodded and ran off leaving her to cajole a still mostly asleep Giles into walking with her. He stumbled along next to her until they reached the stairs when he pushed away from her and, leaning heavily on the banister, climbed them himself.

"You know Giles, this house is great and all but I think we should move to one that has two stories instead of four or one with a lift" she said walking up behind him one step at a time, holding her arms out in case he stumbled.

"Maybe you're right" he huffed, the short journey taking it's toll on his sick body, "Why don't you look into it"

"Really? Cool" she said grinning at his relieved groan when they reached the top. She pulled his arm over her shoulders and wound hers around his waist as she guided him back to his room, "What do you think Bash, should we find another house?" she asked him when he clambered off of Giles' bed and ran over to them.

Bash nodded eagerly, "Yeah not so many stairs next time" he said seriously as he watched them walk to the bed.

Buffy laughed and sat Giles on the bed, "Get Dad a new shirt munchkin" she told him, unbuttoning Giles' pyjama shirt and sliding his arms from the sleeves.

She left Giles to dress himself, after he grumbled at her for treating him like a child, while she went to the little shower room and soaked a wash cloth with cold water. Walking back into the room she saw Bash sitting at the bottom of the bed staring at Giles as he shifted into a more comfortable position.

"Want some breakfast munchkin?" she asked him, laying the wash cloth on Giles' forehead, shushing him when he stirred and tried to bat her hand away.

 _Dad's more sick than me_ Bash told her looking worried.

 _He's a grown up sweetie, when we get sick it does tend to be worse_ Buffy replied moving the wash cloth down his face and over his neck and chest.

 _Why?_ He asked her turning his puzzled gaze to her as she left the wash cloth on the back of Giles' neck.

 _I don't really know_ she told him holding out her hand for him to take.

 _Would Willow know?_ He asked running over to her and walking from the room swinging their arms between them.

Buffy laughed, _Probably, you could ask her later when she calls_ she told him watching with an indulgent grin when he jumped the last three steps on the stairs.

"Okay, can I have eggs on toast?" he asked out loud running across the room towards the kitchen.

"Sure, you want some bacon too?" she asked opening the fridge and pulling out the milk, eggs and bacon.

He looked at her and rolled his eyes, "Duh"

Laughing Buffy opened the grill and retrieved the frying pan from the cupboard, "Go get the bread ya cheeky monkey" she told him as she opened the bacon and put two slices on the grill tray.

Once Bash was sat at the table eating his scrambled eggs and bacon she took some plain toast, orange juice and a fresh bottle of water up to Giles just in case he felt like eating. She grabbed the ibuprofen and paracetamol from her bathroom as she passed knowing he would want one or the other soon.

She stopped when she walked into his room, seeing him laying on his side eyes open and watching her was a little unnerving. She walked forward and put everything on his night stand, pulling the water from the pocket of her hoodie along with the pills and putting them next to his food.

"Temp gone down?" she asked softly, sitting on the edge of his bed and laying her hand on his cheek.

"Did I crawl into bed with you last night?" he asked, his hand coming up out of the covers and reaching for the water, weakly pushing himself up against the headboard with the other.

Buffy grinned as he twisted the cap off, "Uh huh I think it was the fever" she said popping out a couple of paracetamol and ibuprofen, handing them to him and watching him blush.

"Sorry I thought I was dreaming" he muttered closing his eyes, his blush intensifying as he swallowed the pills.

"Don't be it was nice" she said taking the bottle of water back and putting it beside his orange juice.

"Nice?" he asked his eyes opening and watching her eyes twinkle with amusement.

"Yeah, well, it was until I woke up drenched in your sweat" she said laughing when he sputtered and tried to sit up more, "Relax Giles I'm messing with you" she said pushing him back down, "Rest, sleep, try to eat or at least drink the orange juice and let me know if you need help or anything"

"You're leaving?" he asked a little disappointment leaking into his voice and through the bond, "You can't have gotten much sleep either".

"I didn't but Bash wants to go to the park and I have chores to do" she said standing. She looked down at him and smiled, "Don't worry I'll be climbing into bed with you tonight" she said her grin widening when he opened his eyes and stared at her with such joy, the shout he gave through their link made her wince.

"Down boy" she purred, brushing her thumb over his lower lip, closing her eyes when he kissed it, "That will kill you at this point I think"

He laughed and caught her hand before she pulled it away and kissed her palm, "Might be worth it love" he mumbled, grinning wickedly at her chuckle.

 _Mum I finished my eggs_ Bash called to her making them both laugh.

 _I'll be down in a minute, put your plate in the sink_ she replied still grinning down at Giles.

"When we do get around to 'reconnecting' might have to figure out a way to block him" she told him, helping him sit up and handing him the toast, "Nibble that slowly just in case you're not done puking"

He picked up a slice and nibbled on it, watching her collect the pyjamas he'd worn last night, "Buffy?"

"Yeah" she answered pausing as she left the room.

"I love you" he told her, a soft smile lifting the corners of his mouth when she lowered her eyes, a pleased smile on her face and a blush colouring her cheeks.

"I know you do, that was never doubted" she said, her voice lowering slightly as she stepped back towards the bed, "Are you going soft on me old man?" she asked putting his clothes at his feet and sitting beside him, watching him put the toast beside him on the bed.

"Maybe it's this illness making me soppy" he said with a grin when she rolled her eyes and shook her head with a pleased smirk. He took her hand in his and pulled her closer, waiting as she lay at his side, her head tucked into his shoulder. It was the one thing he was grateful to the sickness bug for; it had stripped away their layers of armour and had brought them closer together.

They heard the phone ringing a few minutes later, Giles tightening his grip on her when she groaned and started to rise to answer it. She gave in and settled more comfortably against his side, Giles humming his agreement at her decision and they listened to Bash in their heads telling them it was Dawn.

They lay there like that, both of them drifting off into a comfortable doze which was shattered when Bash ran into the room.

"Hey I want cuddles too" he said leaping onto the bed with a happy giggle.

"Hey monster" Buffy mumbled watching him move the plate of toast and wiggle under Giles' arm.

"Dad feeling better now?" he asked him, looking up at his face from his position against his side.

"A little, this is helping tremendously" he said dropping a kiss on Bash's head.

"Mum helping more though right?" he asked looking over at her with a grin.

"Yes I think she might be" Giles whispered, his thumb brushing over her jaw.

"Soppy" she mumbled grinning at his chuckle. She groaned and sat up, "Come on munchkin, let's go back down the mountain and let Daddy sleep so he..." she grimaced and jumped from the bed, running out of the room with her hand over her mouth.

"It's Mums turn to be sick" Bash said with a grimace, sitting up and sliding to the edge of the bed.

"Well that's all of us" Giles said flipping the cover back when he heard the sound of her retching echoing up the stairs.

"What you doing?" Bash asked, watching as Giles stood on wobbly legs and started to walk towards the door.

"Helping your Mum" he said pulling his robe from the back of the chair in the corner.

"She be back her beds wet, you sweated in it" Bash told him jumping down from the bed and taking Giles' hand, pulling him back to his bed, "You stay or Mum will tell you off"

Giles laughed and let his son push him back down on the edge of the bed, "Are you going to be our Doctor then?" he asked him watching Bash messily ball up his robe and put it back on the chair.

"Yup you stay in bed, Aunty Dawn coming over to help with chores" he told him climbing on the bed to hand him the plate of toast he had started to eat, "I go let her in"

" _I'll_ go _and_ let her in" Giles corrected him, choking on a laugh when Bash just rolled his eyes and left the room.

Buffy came back a few minutes later, pale and sweaty, and crawled onto the bed beside him, "Where's the outbreak monkey?" she asked in a whisper, pointing at the bottle of water on his night stand.

Giles handed it to her with a chuckle, "He's gone back downstairs to let your sister in who is apparently coming to help with chores" he told her watching as she carefully sipped from the bottle still laying down.

He remembered that weak feeling and as much as he had hated it he knew she would absolutely detest it. He finished his toast as she stripped off her hoodie and shifted until she was under the covers, fidgeting until she lay on her right side facing away from him, whimpering a little.

He lay a hand on her back, patting it slightly until she calmed and fell into a fitful slumber. He reached over for the book that lay on his night stand, lifting his glasses from the draw and sliding them on before settling back and opening it.

She turned to face him and lifted her head onto his lap, wrapping an arm over his legs. He smiled down at her and put his hand on her back, moving it back and forth.

"Stop that" she mumbled, "s'not helping"

"Sorry love," he said softly, moving his hand to her head and began brushing his fingers through her hair, glad she had dyed it blonde again.

"S'better" she hummed, nuzzling her head deeper into his leg.

Chuckling to himself Giles went back to reading and absently playing with her hair. Twenty minutes later Dawn walked through the door, smiling at the picture they made.

"Need anything?" she asked picking up his clothes.

"My bed needs stripping" Buffy said lifting her head slightly and looking at her, "What's Bash doing?"

"He's watching The Simpsons and eating cheese nibbles" she said retrieving the now empty glass and plate.

"Those were mine" Buffy huffed dropping her head back down.

"Not like you're gonna be eating 'em any time soon is it" Dawn said rolling her eyes.

Buffy groaned and pushed herself up, crawling over Giles as she hastily jumped from the bed and stumbled from the room. This time she went across the hall to the small bathroom there instead of running down to hers.

Dawn grimaced, "I'll bring up some water for her and some more juice for you seeing as you aren't fighting over the bathroom"

"I do feel marginally better," Giles said wincing when he heard her gag, "I'm hoping the weakness will be gone soon as well"

"Couple of days and you'll be back to normal," she said with a sympathetic glance, "Want some more books?" she asked noticing the book in his hand.

"Yes actually, can you bring me my copy of Alice in Wonderland as well as some of my spell books?" he asked sighing in relief when he heard the toilet flush.

"Why the spell books?" Dawn asked leaning against the wall next to the door, rearranging the plate and glass to sit on top of his pyjamas.

"Ah, uh, research into, uh, blocking spells" he said looking back at the book in his hands.

"We wanna get busy but really don't want Bash knowing about it" Buffy said walking back into the room, the minty smell of mouthwash following her.

"Oh! Okay, gross" Dawn said watching her climb over Giles again and settle at his side resuming her position with her head in his lap.

"You're thinking about that while puking your guts up?" Dawn asked standing up straight, "Either you're into some next level kinky shit or you're just that horny" she finished with a grin, laughing when Buffy threw the packet of paracetamol at her as she backed from the room.

"If only she knew" Giles whispered, putting his hand back on her head and brushing his finger along her cheek.

Buffy laughed and groaned, pulling her legs up and wrapping an arm around her stomach, "Don't make me laugh it hurts"

Chuckling he took the hand that was resting at his hip and pulled it up to place a kiss on her knuckles, "Sorry love, now it's your turn to sleep"

"Okay" she mumbled already closing her eyes, "Maybe I could go shopping for more of those edible panties seeing how much you liked them last time or make some from those strawberry lace things you like"

Giles groaned, "Now I'm going to be thinking about that all day" he said dropping her hand and stroking her arm.

"Only all day?" she mumbled, nuzzling her head further up, "I'm doing something wrong if..."

He smiled down at her when she trailed off with a sigh as sleep finally took her. He watched her while waiting for Dawn to come back with his books, smoothing away a frown with his thumb when she twitched in pain.

He wondered what would be happening if she hadn't relented and let him back in the week before, if they hadn't talked and let each other see what was still causing each of them the slight pinch of pain and doubt. Would she still be here, using his leg as a pillow and talking about sleeping with him? Or would she be suffering on her own in her own bed still keeping him at arms length?

He shook his head to rid it of the last thought and picked up his book, shifting slightly to get more comfortable. He watched her sleep for a few minutes before he opened his book again and rested his arm on her back as he read, his other hand resting on her arm.

Twenty minutes later she rolled onto her back, her head thrashing side to side and breathing fast as if she was dreaming. Giles reached for the still cool wash cloth on his bed side table and gently touched it to her forehead.

Her face relaxed and she let out a sigh as he moved it over her face, cooling her down. He started to move the cloth lower over her neck and along the edge of her vest when her hand shot up and gripped his wrist.

He blinked and looked down at her to see her staring at him with a hunger only slightly dampened by her illness, "Sorry love" he whispered, letting go of the wash cloth and sitting back, "I only wanted to cool you down"

"I know" she whispered back, wrapping the wash cloth around her neck and curled back over his lap, "but I wanted you to go lower"

His heart stuttered to a stop then leapt into high gear when he realised what she had said. Grinning at the laugh he felt vibrating through his leg he pushed his hand down the back of her top. He couldn't help the smug smile when she groaned and arched her back at his touch.

Thirty seconds later he was unceremoniously shoved away as she bolted from the bed and ran to the bathroom.

"Or maybe not" he said to the empty room, disappointment obvious in his tone.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

 **Rating: M**

Chapter 12

"No Giles," Buffy said angrily, throwing the cutlery into the draw with more force than necessary, "I don't care if it's easier or more beneficial for him he is not sleeping at the school!"

"But it's a boarding school Buffy, he is meant to stay there full time" Giles said putting the plates back into the cupboard.

"Then he doesn't go until he's old enough for secondary school" she said pulling the plug from the sink and tossing it behind the taps, "I'm not talking about this anymore Giles, he's too young for boarding school!"

"Agreed but how else will he learn to use his magic responsibly? He can't go to a normal school Buffy" Giles said turning her to face him, both of them shuddering at the contact.

"We home school him, Will says there are witches at the coven who can do it" she said her voice losing it's edge the longer he held onto her.

Giles swallowed, his hands beginning to move up her arms to her shoulders, "What about his needing contact with other children?" he asked in a husky whisper.

Buffy closed her eyes and took a step closer to him, her fingers crawling up his chest to his neck seemingly of their own volition, "Then he goes to the school like a normal child with us picking him up at the end of the day" she whispered looking at his mouth.

Suddenly she shook her head and stepped back, blinking furiously to dispel the images dancing in the front of her mind, "This is getting ridiculous Giles, the build up is gonna make us explode"

"Then maybe we should sleep in the same bed" he said tartly giving her a look that made her want to respond in a way that would be extremely embarrassing if Bash were to walk in on them or even focus on them long enough to see what she wanted to do.

"And that worked so well when I was sick _because_ I was sick Giles," she said opening the fridge and grabbing her juice, "even if we don't do anything before we sleep what happens in the morning when we wake up wrapped around each other, skin touching skin, the bond burning in our blood stripping away all reasons not to..."

"Alright, enough" he said interrupting her, his breathing laboured as his imagination followed her words, filling in the blanks and supplying him with extremely vivid images.

She turned her back on him and poured some juice into a glass, taking out her frustrations by slamming the fridge door shut when she put the bottle back, "We could just wait until he's asleep, there's been no sign that he picks up on anything when he is"

"But what if he does? I know it's hard, yes well" he said glaring at her over the top of his glasses at her amused smirk at his words, "but until we're certain I don't think we should risk traumatising our son" he said gently, stepping up behind her and putting a hand on the back of her neck, dropping his head to kiss her shoulder.

"Oh God" she gasped as his lips moved over her skin. She angled her neck so he had better access to her throat, giving in to the feel of him as he moved closer. She leaned into the counter, her hands gripping onto the edge and pushing back against him as waves of heat began to burn through her.

Suddenly he was gone and she slumped gratefully over the top of the counter. Once she had her breathing under control she stood up straight and looked at him sitting slumped in a chair at the table, "That's it, I can't do this anymore" she said.

 _Sebastian_ she called for him in her head.

 _I didn't do anything_ he answered defensively and she smiled.

 _I know, can you come downstairs please, I want to talk to you_ she told him watching Giles look up at her, his confusion plain on his face.

"I'm going to do the one thing neither of us has thought to do" she told him, crossing her arms and leaning against the counter waiting for Bash.

"What?" Bash asked jumping from the fourth step into the living room, "I was building my Lego"

"I just wanted to ask you a question" Buffy said pulling him over to the dining table and sitting with him on her lap.

"Buffy" Giles said warning her with his tone.

She just shot him a look and ducked her head to get Bash's attention, "When you sleep can you feel me and your Dad? Or see anything we do in your dreams?" she asked him, tucking a curl behind his ear.

He frowned in concentration for a few minutes before shaking his head, "Don't think so, what you do last night?" he asked looking at each of them.

"Well I watched a movie after tidying up and Dad was in his study with his magic books" Buffy said frowning herself, wondering why he was asking.

Bash smiled up at her, "No I don't see or feel you, last night I dreamed I had a pet dinosaur who could talk and pooped Skittles" he said with a grin.

Buffy laughed and gave him a hug, "That sounds handy" she said still giggling slightly even though she was trying to hold it back.

Giles shook his head and sat back with a grin on his face, "Tell me you didn't eat any of the Skittles your pet dinosaur, uh, pooped" he said looking at Bash warily.

Bash slid off Buffy's lap and looked at Giles with such a serious expression on his face Buffy had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing, "Course I did, I love Skittles" he told him, looking back at Buffy with a wide grin when she burst out laughing.

Giles' expression was partly horrified and partly amused, "Okay, thank you for telling me that Bash. Go on back up to your room and finish with your Lego, you've got an hour before your bath" he said over the sound of Buffy's giggles.

Bash grinned at him and ran off shouting "Yum yum Skittle poop" over and over.

Giles just shook his head and stared at Buffy as she dropped her head to the table with a thunk, gasping for breath, "Such a lovely little boy, eating Skittle poop in his dreams" Giles said causing her to laugh harder.

"Stop it I can't breath" she gasped waving her hand at him.

He sat there chuckling at her while waiting for her to regain control. When she had finally stopped laughing and had wiped away the tears that had fallen from her cheeks, she looked at him with a smile that made his breath catch and his heartbeat stutter.

"When he's asleep I think it's time we release some of this tension" she whispered, leaning forward and brushing her fingers over his cheek and along his jaw.

She stood and walked away, disappearing upstairs and leaving him to his own devices while she played with Bash and got him ready for bed.

"Oh dear lord" he said with a wide smile unable and unwilling to smother the surge of ecstasy that filled him at the promise he saw in her eyes. Standing, he began to whistle as he made his way to his study, anticipation making it harder to shield his thoughts from Bash.

He caught her smugness and threw a mental glare at her. Having lived with this particular issue for longer than he had she was better at shielding her emotions from Bash. What was worrying was that she was shielding something from him as well.

 _Don't worry love, it's not a bad thing just trust me_ she whispered in his head.

 _Worrying is ingrained I'm afraid_ he replied, pulling the spell book that contained silencing spells from the shelf behind his desk.

She sent an image of her pouting and he chuckled, _Not fair using that on me love you know I can't resist it_ he told her as he flicked through the book to the right page.

 _Oh really? Good to know_ she said laughing at the shock he telegraphed at her.

"Oh, bollocks" he said aloud and her tinkling laughter was joined by Bash's in his head.

Xxxxxxxxxx

"Giles! Bash wants you to tuck him in" Buffy shouted down the stairs.

 _Be right there_ he answered telepathically just as he returned the last book back to the shelf. He wondered if there was a rule he was unaware of when it came to using their telepathy versus shouting at him down three flights of stairs.

He made sure the front door was locked and turned the lights off as he made his way up to the top of the house. He paused on Buffy's floor, frowning at her closed door,

 _Buffy? Anything wrong love?_ he asked her.

 _No, go away_ she replied curtly, making him laugh.

He carried on up the stairs and walked in to Bash's room to find him sitting up in his bed holding a book. He looked at the cover and smiled,

"That's your mothers favourite" he said getting comfortable against the headboard and taking it from him.

"I know, can you read it to me?" he asked moving his teddy on to his lap and curling up under Giles' arm.

"Of course" he said opening it and thumbing through the pages to the first chapter, "Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, 'and what is the use of a book,' thought Alice 'without pictures or conversation?'" he read, looking down at Bash when he snuggled further into his side.

He carried on reading until Bash's soft snores began. Smiling fondly down at him, he placed a piece of paper between the pages and closed the book, placing it on Bash's night stand before standing and placing a kiss on his head.

 _Buffy? I'm going to have a shower, will you stay with me tonight?_ he asked kicking off his shoes and loosening his belt once he had entered his room.

 _No_ she replied and his heart lurched, _You're staying with me_ she finished causing him to breath a sigh of relief.

Buffy looked up at the ceiling with a grin when she heard the shower start and settled on her knees in the centre of her bed with her magazine. She knew he would think she was setting up her room with candles and other such romantic props but she didn't see the point. She'd showered and shaved, washed and dried her hair, that was enough effort for now.

It had been nearly two months since she had let him back in, two months of loaded glances and touches that electrified and ignited their blood with a fire that was becoming increasingly difficult to quench and she didn't want to spend time on a seduction.

She had put on the full length pale blue silk nightdress with lace cups she had seen in a shop window in Knightsbridge a few weeks before, an impulse buy because she could picture him taking it off her. She shivered as she imagined him doing just that.

She smirked when she heard the shower stop and leaned over and lit the one candle she had in her room, a jasmine and lavender one he had given her when they first arrived. A few minutes later she heard his gentle knock on the door.

"Come in" she called out, throwing her magazine on the floor and shuffling to the bottom of her bed as he opened the door. He was wearing his robe, a pair of pyjama bottoms and nothing else except for the smile that lit up his face when he saw her.

She smiled shyly at him when he stopped in the doorway and held her hands out. Tearing his eyes away from her, he shut the door and murmured something in French under his breath before turning back to her and covering the distance between them in a few long strides.

"What no candles, no flower petals, no music?" he asked as he slowly trailed his fingers up her bare arms in the softest of touches.

"I have a candle" she pouted sliding her hands under the shoulders of his robe and pushing it off, "We can do romance later, I don't need all the frills I just want you" she whispered guiding his arms around her, sighing with approval when his hands tightened on her backside and pulled her closer.

She slid her hands over his ribs and down his back into the waistband of his trousers, humming in satisfaction when she felt him gathering the fabric of her nightdress at her hips. She hissed when she felt his hands on the bare skin of her legs, his hands roughly brushing over her skin as he moved his hands to her butt, gripping her tightly.

"Enough teasing love" he whispered against her lips before taking what he had wanted for so long.

Both of them groaned as the fire in their blood erupted into an inferno and their need for each other overtook everything else. The memories of their time at the desert motel suddenly surfaced in her head and Giles grunted in agreement, ignoring the large comfortable bed behind them he lifted her up and carried her over to the wall.

She didn't even notice the impact of her back against the wall, his lips moving down her throat as his fingers slowly slid the strap of her nightdress off her shoulder.

"No" she gasped gripping his shoulders and moving against him until he moaned and thrust against her, "Romance, tenderness, it can wait, just take me Giles" she said gripping his face in her hands, nipping at his lower lip as she moved over him, "Enough waiting"

Giles growled low in his throat and gave her exactly what she wanted.

Xxxxxxxxxx

When she woke in the morning she was still surrounded by him. Their legs were tangled together and his arms were around her holding her close. Her head rested on his shoulder and her hand lay flat on his chest. She smiled and gently flexed her fingers, feeling the soft hair on his chest under them. Her smile turned wicked and she slowly shifted her head so she could place a soft kiss over his collar bone.

She continued placing her kisses over his chest everywhere she could reach and when he still hadn't moved she slowly and carefully slid down the bed and began kissing him lower, her tongue flicking out when she found his nipple, grinning when she heard his sleepy grunt.

When she reached his belly button she couldn't resist giving his stomach a gentle sucking kiss, biting her lip to stop the laugh that bubbled up when he twitched and scratched at the area, narrowly missing her nose. Trying to hold back her giggles she went lower still, breathing faster when she saw that at least one part of him was awake.

She took him in her mouth, giggling around him when he automatically thrust upwards and she heard his strangled gasp.

"Jesus" he moaned his hands gripping her under her arms and pulling her up, covering her mouth and cutting off her laughter as he rolled on top of her, "Morning to you too" he said with a grin when he pulled back.

"I wasn't finished" she said flipping them so she straddled him.

"By all means, continue" he said groaning when she licked then gently bit down on his nipple as she slowly made her way back down.

He shouted in surprise when she blew a raspberry on his stomach and pulled her back up, "What was that for?" he asked kissing her chin, his hands squeezing her backside and pulling her down over him.

"The burning has gone" she whispered, gasping when he lifted his head and pulled her nipple into his mouth as she gripped his shoulder with one hand and flattened her other hand on the wall.

"So it has" he said guiding her movement, slowing her down when she wanted to speed up and grinning when he heard her mewling whimper in protest.

"Guess that means we can kiss each other without wanting to jump each other" she gasped against his mouth as she tried to get him to move faster.

He swallowed and nodded his agreement, incapable of further speech when she flexed her muscles around him. They both felt the flicker of Bash slowly waking up at the same time, both looking at each other with something akin to horror until Giles quickly flipped them over and took control, throwing slow out of the window.

"God Giles...that was intense" she gasped as he rolled off her ten minutes later, collapsing on his back beside her.

"Yes wasn't it just" he said turning his head to look at her as she shifted to her side and propped her head up on her hand, "Although I'd rather not do that under pressure again".

Buffy giggled and dropped her head onto his chest, listening to his heart beat slow into his normal rhythm "So what do you think it means, the burning being gone?" she asked sighing in contentment when he twitched the covers back over them and wrapped his arms around her.

"Could just mean that we're right where we're supposed to be" he mumbled against her hair, his hand moving slowly up and down her back, "We held back for so long, were apart for so long, the bond is probably just satisfied"

"I know I am" she said happily and lifted her leg over his, cupping her hand around his cheek as she nuzzled her head into his throat under his chin.

They had just started to drift off into a light doze when they felt Bash wake up fully. They looked up at the ceiling when they heard his feet hit the floor a few seconds later, both grinning when they heard him use the toilet, Giles nodding in approval when they heard the tap turn on before the toilet flushed.

Buffy quickly got up and pulled on the extra large shirt she had left on the bench under her window as they heard him run across the hall, jumping back into bed with a giggle just as they heard his mental 'huh' when he saw Giles' bed empty. They both grinned when they heard his feet pounding down the stairs.

"3..2.." Buffy whispered making Giles chuckle just as Bash threw open her bedroom door and ran into the room, leaping onto the bed.

"Morning" Bash said continuing to bounce on the bed, not at all fazed to find his parents in bed together.

"Good morning to you too" Giles said laughing at him when he flopped onto his side over their legs with a giggle.

"Bash go downstairs and watch your cartoons for a bit, we have to shower before we can make breakfast" Buffy said reaching down and poking him in the side until he shifted off of their legs.

"Okay" he chirped and rolled off the bed, landing on his feet and sprinting from the room.

"Where on earth does he get his energy first thing in the morning?" Giles asked sitting up and looking around for his robe.

"Skittle poop probably" Buffy said completely straight faced holding it out for him.

Giles barked out a laugh as he swung the robe over his shoulders, slipping his arms into the sleeves as he stood and tying it closed as he walked over to her. He bent his head and gave her a soft kiss.

 _Eeww don't do that_ Bash called out and they both laughed again.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Xander and Willow exchanged an amused glance when Buffy dropped down onto Giles' lap, handing him his tea as she sipped from hers.

"So I take it you two managed to work things out then?" Xander asked, grinning when Buffy looked down at Giles with a blush.

"Explain to me how that's any of your business Xander" Giles said fixing him with a glare when he laughed.

"That's a yes, way to go G-man" Xander said laughing harder when he saw Buffy blushing into her cup.

"Knock it off Xander" Dawn scolded him, handing Bash another pencil when he asked for it.

"They kiss a lot now it's gross" Bash said absently as he coloured his drawing.

Xander threw his head back and howled with laughter, Willow giggling into her own cup of tea while Dawn fell sideways onto the floor, her arms wrapped around her waist as she laughed as well. Buffy lifted her arm and wrapped it around Giles' shoulders, giving his arm a supportive squeeze and dropping a kiss on his cheek when he groaned.

It had been three weeks since they had re-kindled their relationship and they had finally found their place together. Their bond was stronger now, the urgency to touch each other having faded completely after the first week, but the need to be closer had grown and Giles had moved all of his things into her room, ignoring her protests about moving too quickly.

"Bash it's time for your bath, put your things away please" Buffy said after half an hour of catching up with Willow and Xander, finding out how their trip to the states had been and laughing when Xander grumbled about Ethan telling them he'll be visiting when he could. She shifted slightly, deliberately giving her hips a tiny wiggle on Giles' lap and grinned when he squeezed her hip in warning.

"But I wanna shower" Bash moaned starting to put his pens and pencils away in his pencil case.

"Then you can have a shower, as long as you wash properly I don't mind which one you have" Buffy said standing, taking Giles' empty cup from him and collecting the others too.

"Hey Buff? You going on patrol tonight?" Dawn asked pushing herself to her feet and dropping down next to Willow on the sofa.

"Yeah, Hope and Sam asked me to tag along on their patrol around the clubs" she called back to them over the sound of the tap running, "They probably just wanna see me in action like the others did".

"Well you are _the_ Slayer" Xander said trying to grab Bash as he walked past him, laughing when Bash poked his tongue out and danced away from him.

"No I'm not, I'm just _a_ Slayer now, have been since Kendra was called really" she said throwing the dish towel over her shoulder and onto the counter behind her.

 _Daddy can you help with shower?_ Bash asked, his voice echoing in both their heads as it usually did.

"I'll be right up Bash" he called out, pushing himself to his feet, "Are you going now?" he asked Buffy pulling her to him for a hug.

"Soon, I'll tuck Bash in first" she said softly, "best go before he tries to climb up like he did the other day"

Giles dropped his head and kissed her softly before walking away and up the stairs, Buffy watching him go.

"Must have been a good night huh Buff" Willow said with a smirk, coming up behind her with her coat on.

"Yeah, good morning too" she said with a secretive grin.

"Good I'm glad you had fun" Willow said then blushed, looking up at Buffy her eyes wide with embarrassment, "I..I meant, uh, I mean I'm sure fun was had but, uh, I didn't mean it like that I just, uh, you've been so tense and grr lately and, oh! Oh, I didn't, that didn't come out right…"

"Will, it's okay, I know what you meant" Buffy said with a giggle, stopping her before she really picked up steam "It's been a long time since I've heard you nervous babble"

"She did her nervous babble thing last week when she walked in on me and Chloe in the kitchen" Xander said waggling his eyebrows at them, Willow giggling at the look on Buffys face.

"Eeww Xander that's gross, I was in that kitchen three days ago" Buffy said grimacing.

"Don't worry I cleaned down the surfaces I'm not a heathen" Xander said still grinning as he shrugged into his jacket.

"Still gross" Buffy said giving into the giggle that had been building since Willow had started, "Wait a minute Chloe's one of my girls, how long have you been seeing her?"

"Few months, it's not a problem is it?"Xander asked looking a little worried now.

"Why would it be a problem? I just had no idea that's all" Buffy said giving his hand a squeeze.

"Well you've been kinda preoccupied since you moved Buff, didn't wanna distract you" Xander said his eyes flickering between her and Willow.

Buffy sighed and threw her arms around him, "I'm sorry I haven't been there for you guys" she said pulling back and bringing Willow into the hug, "Maybe we should set up an old fashioned Scooby night one day soon and have a proper catch up"

"Good idea Buff," Willow said, her voice muffled by the hug, "Hey why don't we join you and the girls on patrol tonight, show 'em how we did it back in the day?" she asked pulling back.

"Na, you guys head on home" Buffy said waving them off, "I'm only heading out because they asked me too otherwise I wouldn't be doing it"

"Buffy, Bash is waiting for you to read to him" Giles said coming into the room, "Are you three heading home?" he asked seeing Dawn take her coat from the rack by the door.

"Yeah, but we'll be back at the weekend for movie night with Bash" Dawn said hugging Buffy from behind, "You stay safe tonight" she said giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Hey you know me, I'll be fine" Buffy said rubbing her arm.

"Okay we're gone, see you later G-man" Xander said waving from the door.

"Safe journey" he said, his concern diminished slightly by the glare he gave Xander.

Xander just grinned and ducked out the door, Willow and Dawn following soon after. Buffy waved at them as she headed up the stairs to carry on reading from where Giles had left off the night before.

Half an hour later she came bounding back down the stairs dressed in black with a messenger bag bouncing at her hip, a familiar clacking sound coming from within.

"Okay I'm heading out," she said leaning over the back of the couch and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Do you have enough stakes?" he asked her gripping her arm and leaning his head against her cheek.

"Of course. I even have a couple of daggers and bottles of holy water and I have my council ID so the coppers don't haul us in for carry weapons if they do a spot check" she said kissing his cheek, "don't worry Watcher, you trained me well" she whispered before standing and looking down at him.

He tilted his head back and looked up at her, "Just come home unharmed love, that's all I ask" he said.

She could see the worry in his eyes and walked around the sofa, leaning down to give him a proper kiss as she slid onto his lap. She pulled back and touched his forehead with hers, looking into his eyes.

"I love you" she whispered smiling when she felt his joy, "Don't wait up okay, I won't be long"

"I love you too" he whispered back, letting his hands drop from her hips not even trying to hold her back and watched with a rising dread as she stood and trotted over to the front door.

She smiled at him as she opened it, blew him a kiss as she walked through it and shut it carefully behind her.

He stared at the closed door for a long time before turning everything off except for the lamp by the door, leaving it on for her to guide her home, and headed up to bed.

When he reached the top of the stairs he heard a whimper coming from Bash's room. He stood still and listened, waiting to see if it would grow into anything more but after a couple of minutes of silence he continued on into their room.

 _You need to stop worrying so loud Giles, it's distracting_ he heard Buffy say and he grinned.

 _I'm sorry love, I don't know how to not worry about you while you're on patrol. I have been doing it for a long time now after all_ he replied as he pushed his trousers down his thighs.

 _I know and I'm not asking you to stop just...can you do it quieter fo…_

 _Buffy!_ He shouted her name, fear squeezing his heart in an unrelenting grip.

 _Sorry, Vamp_ she said and he sagged in relief, gasping in a breath when the tightness released it's grip, _Are you okay?_ She asked softly and he barked out a bitter laugh.

 _Sometimes being able to see, hear and feel the things you can is not the blessing it is usually_ he said and he felt a pulse of love surge throw the bond, _Thank you my love, now go and do what you do better than anybody else._

He grinned when he felt her happiness and lay back on the bed to try meditation in the hopes he wouldn't distract her anymore tonight.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

 **Rating: T**

Chapter 13

Giles woke up feeling a chill against his skin. He cracked an eye open and groaned when he realised he was still laying on top of the bed with only his boxers on. Lifting himself up onto his elbow he tugged the covers back and flopped back down. He opened his eyes again as he pulled the covers back over himself and blinked at the display on the alarm clock, narrowing his eyes at it in annoyance when he saw that it was only four thirty.

He reached back for Buffy, still not quite awake, and frowned when he touched empty space. He sat up and looked down at the empty bed, touching her pillow and finding it cold. He tried to feel her through the bond and came up against what felt like white noise, his own brain beginning to grow fuzzy before he shook it off.

He immediately started to go through all the possibilities of why she wasn't there and none of them were good. With his heart beating rapidly he threw back the covers and ran from the room, heading up to Bash's room first.

Not finding her there, or in his old room, he ran back down the stairs, giving each room a once over before he got to the ground floor and saw her curled up against the fire, the blaze dancing merrily in the hearth.

"Buffy? What is it? What's wrong?" he asked rushing over and dropping to the floor in front of her. Her stillness scared him more than the silence did and he had to refrain from gripping her shoulders and giving her a shake.

"Hope's dead," she said still looking into the flames. Her voice was flat, emotionless except for a slight tremor "Sam's in the hospital, Jacobs wanted me to stay too but I didn't want you to wake up alone and worry"

He narrowed his eyes at her and, slipping into his Watcher persona in an attempt to dampen the panic clawing at his chest, looked her over. He noticed the rip in her jeans to the side of her knee, disappearing under the blanket that she was holding around herself, and he saw a hole in her top, the white of a dressing poking through beneath it.

Not bothering to hold back the panic any longer he gripped her chin, wincing when she hissed in pain, and made her look at him, not able to hide the pained gasp when he saw the butterfly stitches lined up along her cheek bone holding a nasty cut together, the bruise already forming around it.

"What happened to you?" he asked, swallowing past the lump that had formed in his throat. He took in the black eye, the bruise on her jaw, claw marks on her throat and the butterfly stitches over the gash in her eyebrow, "Where else are you injured?" he asked, gently wiping away the tear that trickled down her cheek.

"Arms broken, legs all clawed up," she sniffed and let go of the blanket, showing him the rest, "Chest got a few swipes and I twisted my ankle of all things but other than that I just feel so cold"

"You're in shock" he said pushing himself to his feet and walking over to his liquor cabinet.

Pouring her a small measure of scotch, no more than a mouthful, he wiped away his tears. Taking a deep breath he turned back to her and saw her shivering despite being so close to the heat of the fire. He knelt back down in front of her and handed her the glass, encouraging her to drink it.

"Let's get you in the shower love" he said tucking her hair behind her ear, "I'll check and redress all of your injuries and put you to bed, you need to sleep"

"They came out of nowhere, down behind the clubs" she whispered, still staring at the flames, the now empty glass clutched tightly in her hand "Vamps and demons, working together, haven't seen that since Adam ya know. There was so many of them, so many..."

Giles listened without making a sound, taking the glass from her before her grip shattered it and he just held her hand, ignoring his own tears and fighting the urge to pull her into his arms knowing that she needed to tell him what happened, that she needed the therapeutic release that talking about it brought her.

"Hope was great, she fought really hard but it didn't matter, they tore her apart…right in front of us, I couldn't save her" she said, her voice so low Giles had to strain to hear her, "Me and Sam, we...we went back to back until we couldn't anymore. I can remember getting swiped a couple of times," she said her eyebrows drawing together in confusion, "but it was when the demon slashed my leg that's when I went down. I had twelve stakes and I used them all. Luckily Sam managed to send out the S.O.S when it all started and the demon who was choking me dropped me and ran off when the girls ran into the alley"

She looked up at him then and his heart broke for her, the pain in her eyes was devastating, "You're alive Buffy" he whispered fiercely, "You came home to us" his voice wavering slightly.

She let go of his hand and wrapped her arm around his neck, hissing when he shifted forward and wrapped his arms around her tightly, "Yeah, my ribs took a bashing too"

"Why didn't you come up stairs and wake me?" he asked her as he awkwardly helped her stand then swept her into his arms when she stumbled.

"Couldn't make it up the stairs, Smythe and Hollingbrook helped me get this far then left" she said pitifully, tightening her grip on his shoulder and burying her face in his chest as the tears finally came.

He carried her up the stairs and into the bathroom taking care not to jostle her too much. Sitting her on the toilet, he pulled the first aid kit out from under the sink and opened it while she wiped her eyes and blew her nose. Taking the scissors out, he cut her top up the seams and slid it off her, gritting his teeth at the bruises on her upper arms and at how big the dressing was on her chest.

He looked at the temporary splint on her arm then stood and disappeared, leaving her sitting on the toilet staring at the empty doorway in confusion. He reappeared a few minutes later holding the cellophane box in his hands. He knelt in front of her as he pulled the tube from the box and began wrapping the cellophane round her arm as carefully as he could.

"How come you're awake so early?" she asked him, watching him with a tender almost wistful expression on her face.

He glanced up at her and blushed, "I fell asleep on top of the covers and caught a chill, and you weren't there" he admitted in a whisper, rolling his eyes at her pleased grin.

Once he was sure her arm was completely covered, stable and waterproof he reached around her back and unclipped her bra, sliding it off her arms and dropping it on top of the pieces of her shirt. She unbuttoned her jeans and stood, using his shoulder to balance herself as he slowly pulled off her jeans.

He couldn't stop the sob that burst from his throat when he saw the stitches in her leg and the bruise over her hip that was creeping up her abdomen. She gingerly sat back on the toilet and cupped his cheek, rubbing her thumb over it and brushing away the lone tear that had escaped his lashes.

"Don't Giles, I've had worse" she said softly, closing her eyes and trying not to vocalise the pain she was feeling as he pulled her jeans down over her knees.

"I know and I was a mess then too" he said gruffly, tugging her combat boots off and pulling her jeans over her feet, dropping them on the pile of ruined clothes next to him all the while reliving every moment she had been hurt. Superficially or seriously it didn't matter, it had always felt like he had failed her.

"Jacobs might be calling later," she said biting her lip against the pain when he pulled off her dressings, gasping when he prodded her ribs. She could hear his internal self flagellation and wanted so much to tell him that it was never his fault, that it was just a part of her life, that it was okay, but she didn't dare open her mouth and she was expending just as much effort to not scream in her head as well.

"Not broken, just bruised" he muttered as he carefully lifted the tape off her chest, "God Buffy" he moaned when he saw the dual claw marks, almost deep enough to see bone. He slid her panties off then stood and helped her into the shower before stripping out of his t-shirt and boxers.

He joined her just as she turned the spray on, the water only just above body temperature. He reached behind her for the wash cloth and carefully washed away the dried blood around her injuries, gently rubbing at the cuts themselves with his fingers making sure he didn't disturb any of the butterfly stitches or re-open any of the wounds.

After she was dried, her wounds covered in fresh gauze and she was dressed in one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers, he carried her across the hall and lay her in the bed. Fussing with the pillows and quilt until she caught his hands in hers and told him to stop.

"There's some pills in a paper bag by the door, I think, can you get them?" she asked him, shifting her hips so she wasn't putting too much pressure on her leg. She knew he needed to be doing something, anything to keep his mind occupied and giving him something to focus on that would help her was the best way to do it.

"I'll bring you something to eat as well" he said pulling his hands from hers and walking from the room a little faster than he normally would.

Giles came back fifteen minutes later with a plate of toast in one hand and the paper bag with her painkillers, antibiotics from the hospital and the special antibiotics the Witches cooked up for when the girls got injured by demons and a sports drink in his other hand. When he walked into the room he looked furious but his eyes softened and a tender smile lightened his gaze when he saw she was starting to fall asleep.

Giles woke her then helped her sit up against her pillows before handing her the toast and the sports drink, "Eat, even if you don't feel like it, you can't take any of your pills on an empty stomach" he told her when she looked like she was going to argue with him.

She rolled her eyes and picked up a slice, tearing off a bite and chewing it while scowling at his smug look. He sat at her side, double checking her dressings and took the plate from her when she was done.

"These painkillers are quite strong, do you only want one for now?" he asked her reading the label.

"Yeah, one should be enough" she said still shivering a little, "What about the antibiotics? How many of them do I need to take?"

"Two of each" he said handing all five pills to her having already shaken them from their bottles.

"Ugh" she moaned, grimacing as she held her hand out for them.

She threw them into her mouth one at a time, swallowing them with a mouthful of the sports drink, finishing it with the last tablet, "Hate taking pills" she grumbled giving him back the empty bottle.

"Now lay down and sleep" he told her sternly, amusement leaking into his voice at her grumbling.

"As long as you lay with me" she said wincing as she shifted down the bed.

Giles held the quilt up until she was settled then covered her before walking round to the other side of the bed and crawling in behind her, gently pushing his arm under her neck and carefully wrapping it across her chest to hold her against him.

"I wanna go and see Sam later" she mumbled, gripping his arm with her good hand.

"We'll see how you are" he murmured in her ear before dropping a kiss onto her shoulder.

"She shouldn't be alone" she said then yawned.

"She won't be" he said tightening his hold a little, "Jacobs, the arrogant little pillock, said he'll be round to take your report as soon as he could"

"Did he say what kind of demons attacked us?" she mumbled.

"Shargal Beasts, demons well known for their tendency to act as mercenaries for the highest bidder" he said, "Enough about that for now, sleep, let your body heal"

"What about Bash?" she asked stubbornly keeping her eyes open.

"I can keep him occupied," he said moving his hand over her stomach, soothing her when he felt her tremble "distract him with some new spells he can learn, ask Dawn to take him to the park"

"Okay, I'll sleep now" she mumbled, smiling at his chuckle.

He hummed in her ear as she drifted off, a very bad feeling taking root deep in his gut making him feel a little sick.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Buffy healed with no lasting effects, submitting to the forced bed rest for the first few days only because Bash refused to leave her. Even when Giles and Willow bribed him with some new spells he wouldn't budge. He sat either on the floor at her side with his toys or in the bed next to her until she was well enough to get down the stairs without help then he sat with her on the sofa, chatting happily away about school, which had started a few days after she had been hurt, and who he played with at break time.

Giles fussed over her, obsessively changing her dressings twice a day, making sure she had whatever she wanted or needed and standing guard when Jacobs wouldn't take no for an answer, stating he needed to hear her version of what happened in that alley before he could deliver the report in its entirety to the board. That made Buffy laugh seeing as how Giles was a senior member of the board.

It took a week before her nightmares started, usually a replay of what had happened twisted by her own fears. Willow concocted a tea for her to drink before bed so she could sleep without the dreams affecting her. When she started being sick the mornings after she had needed to drink it Giles took the tea away, giving it back to Willow claiming she might be allergic to the Mugwort.

A couple of weeks after he had found her by the fire Giles gave in when she couldn't stand staying still any longer and pushed the furniture to the sides of the room on the first floor, helping her train until he was satisfied she was completely healed. Bash laying on the sofa happily watching them even though he wanted to join in, clapping happily when she let him do some yoga with her. After a week he then agreed she could go back to the training facility to resume her classes.

He returned, almost unconsciously, to acting like her Watcher, diving head first into research and shutting himself in his study. She had to pull him away most nights, forcing him to stop looking for ways to find the Shargal Beasts or who had hired them so he could sleep or eat. Some nights she failed to tear him away so she left him to it, recognising his need to keep her, and Bash, safe.

She stood in the doorway of his study now, a soft smile on her face as she leaned against the door frame and folded her arms, "You looked at that book already today" she said doing her best to hide her amusement.

"I might have missed something important" he muttered turning the pages, his hand holding a pen over a notebook already cluttered with his notes.

"So I guess the three times you looked through it last week means you didn't actually read it then either huh" she said, smiling when he stopped flicking through the pages and looked up at her.

"Ah, it's entirely possible that I've exhausted all of my resources, here at least" he said looking around himself at the piles of books stacked on his desk and floor almost as if he was surprised to see them there.

"You know I miss you right, Bash misses you too" she said, slowly making her way over to him, stepping over the books that were on the floor next to his desk, "You're starting to obsess over this honey and that's never good"

She finally reached his side and straddled his lap facing him, forcing him to look at her, "Hiya lover" she whispered, grinning at his dazed expression.

He shook his head and rubbed his hands up and down her thighs a few times before resting them on her hips, "I'm sorry I've disappeared on you love" he said softly, resting his forehead against hers, "but I have to make sure they can't get to you again".

She shook her head, smiling at him, "Not possible" she said with a grin, "That's never been possible and you know it"

"But..." he began, sliding his hands back down to her thighs.

"No, no buts, you've discovered all there is to know about the Shargals, even more than the so called 'expert' at the council who, by the way, didn't even know what they were, that was all you. The girls on patrol duty have been briefed and my classes have included the best ways to kill them quickly for the last month" she said combing her fingers through his hair, "What else is there to do?"

"I need to know why they attacked you and why they were working with vampires" he said closing his eyes when she started to massage his neck and shoulders, her nimble fingers finding and releasing the knots.

"I didn't think you were the miracle type love" she whispered rubbing her nose along his as her hands stopped massaging his shoulders and moved down over his chest, "coz that's what you'll need to answer those questions". She sat back and grinned at his flushed face, "Well that or a Shargal Beast bound and gagged so you can torture the info out of it".

"That would be helpful" he agreed with a chuckle. He looked at her and sat back with a resigned sigh, "You're going back out there aren't you"

She tilted her head at him and smirked, "Not tonight I'm not" she said lifting herself off of his lap, "Tonight I'm going to make sure you eat a proper meal, spend some time with your son and sleep in a bed instead of in your chair"

He allowed her to pull him from his chair then yanked her back so she fell into his arms, "Do you know how much I love you?" he asked her before bending slightly and placing a soft kiss on her lips.

"I have a pretty good idea" she said giggling against his mouth when he lifted her until she lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist.

He let go of her and brushed the hair back away from her face, pulling her head down to brush a sweet kiss across her lips, loving the way she melted against him at that brief touch, "What's for dinner then love?" he asked when she unhooked her ankles and slid to the floor.

"Bash wanted spaghetti bolognaise with garlic bread so that's what I made" she said bending down to pick up a stack of books from the floor and pushed it onto his already overcrowded desk, "I did ask you what you fancied but after the third grunt I realised you weren't listening" she said grinning at his blush.

"I have been somewhat preoccupied the last few weeks" he said following her from his study and down the hall to the kitchen.

"Uh, yeah, just a little seeing as how you've been hold up in here for at least a month and a half" she said smirking at him over her shoulder, "kinda like old times though, when you would go into 'research mode' in Sunnydale"

"But I was your Watcher then love, research kept you alive" he said his mind travelling back to the days she was talking about.

He bumped into her when she stopped in front of him, turning to stare at him, the look on her face unreadable.

"So you're not my Watcher now then, is that what you're saying?" she asked trying not to let the shock she felt at his innocent words show on her face.

He frowned at her, confused by the mixture of emotions he was feeling from her, "Not at all, I will always be your Watcher" he said putting his hands on her shoulders and ducking his head to look her in the eye, "The difference between then and now is that you are not just the Slayer I care a great deal for. Now you are the mother of my child, my northern star guiding me with your light when all else seems dark"

She smiled up at him, her eyes shining with the happiness he could feel pulsing through the bond, and pulled his head down to hers to pour all of what she couldn't put into words into a kiss that left him feeling breathless.

"Eeww they're kissing again" the heard Bash moan, Dawns giggle floating down the hall straight after.

Buffy laughed against his neck when he growled a little in annoyance, "Down boy, we can play later" she whispered, earning another kiss, this one a promise of what was to come as he pressed her against the wall.

"Ah man, I don't wanna see that," Xanders voice echoed from behind them, "It'll ruin my appetite" he moaned pushing past them with a cheeky grin on his face.

"If exploding Shax demons don't put you off of food then Buffy and Giles smoochies ain't gonna do it" Willow said with a giggle following Xander past them.

Buffy brushed her thumb over Giles' lips removing the slight smudge of her lipstick before following after them, catching his hand and pulling him along behind her into the kitchen. Willow and Xander had already sat themselves at the table with Dawn and Bash who were waiting for Buffy to dish up the dinner she had left warming on the stove.

After dinner was over with and all that was left of the chocolate cake Dawn and Bash had made was crumbs in the sink, Giles spent the remainder of the evening with Bash. He played with him or listened to him talk about his day at school, listening to him read his book and learn his spellings.

Buffy washed up while chatting with the guys, laughing at Xander as he told them about his assignment with Andrew in Bristol and dealing with a completely incompetent group of Vampires trying to steal kittens from cat shelters.

After finding the only place yet to have been robbed, they had both stayed after everyone else had gone home and waited for them to show up. Xander told them that Andrew couldn't focus because he was sneezing so much, not realising he was allergic to cats.

"Although I don't know why it was such a surprise, he's allergic to everything else. Luckily for him my aim with a crossbow is still good or he'd have been dinner" Xander said taking off the lid of the biscuit tin and helping himself to a cookie.

Buffy watched with a grin when the lid floated up and snapped itself back into place before the whole tin floated off the table and into the living room.

"What the...?" Xander said his eyes wide as he watched its flight from the room.

"My cookies!" Bash shouted a few seconds later.

"Good lad" they heard Giles' proud voice say and Buffy and Willow laughed at Xander as he swallowed the cookie he had been chewing with a guilty grin.

"He's getting stronger" Dawn said turning in her chair and watching as Bash made the cookies dance over his and Giles' heads showering them and the floor in crumbs.

Buffy shook her head at the same time Willow spoke, "Not stronger just more controlled, he's already strong enough for a four year old"

Buffy nodded in agreement, "Plenty strong enough, last week he made his toy dinosaurs come to life then melted the tyrannosaurus because it bit him" she said shaking her head with a smirk.

Xander threw back his head and howled with laughter, Dawn and Willow giggling at the image of a mini tyrannosaurus chasing Bash around his room.

Buffy finished the washing up, occasionally joining in the conversation between the others, then made everyone a hot drink; hot chocolate for her and Bash, tea for Giles and Willow and mochas for Xander and Dawn, and followed the others out to the living room with them all on a tray to settle in for a film.

Later that evening when Bash had finally gone to sleep and long after the others had left, Buffy lay peacefully in Giles' arms, sleepy and extremely satisfied.

"Giles?" she asked stroking her fingers lightly along the arm laying over her stomach.

"Hmm?" he responded, his face still buried in the pillow next to her head.

"I have to ask you something" she said still tracing lines on his arm.

"What is it Buffy?" he asked lifting his arm away from her stomach when he felt her nervousness and gripped her chin, turning her face to look at him.

"Will you marry me?" she asked looking straight into his eyes, a half smile twitching her lips when she felt a black hole of shock through the bond.

She turned over to face him properly and lifted her head a little to give him a kiss, his lips responding to her touch automatically even though he was still staring at her blankly. She dropped her head back down and waited for his shock to subside, pressing herself up against him as she made herself comfortable.

"Well that's, uh, that's unexpected" he said haltingly a few minutes later, a happy smile growing on his face and rubbing a hand down her back waking her from the beginnings of her slumber, "I thought it was traditional for the man to ask his woman?"

She blinked at him a few times unsure how to react to the 'his woman' comment, before turning away from him and laying on her stomach with her arms under her pillow, "Since when does 'tradition' have anything to do with us" she muttered, frowning at the very strong emotions coming from him and the thoughts that seemed to jumble in together and were starting to give her a headache.

Giles bent his head and kissed her back, right between her shoulder blades, "Can you promise me a few things before I answer?" he asked whispering in her ear making her giggle.

She turned her head to look at him, "Go on" she said her voice muffled slightly by her pillow.

"No more patrolling alone" he said, pausing with a grin when she nodded her agreement, "Full contact training with the girls if or when you get pregnant again will stop" he paused again only this time frowning at her shrug.

"Nope, not promising that, not now anyway" she mumbled with her eyes closed.

Giles sighed in defeat, "I reluctantly agree" he said stroking a hand down her back, lightly smacking her backside when she gave him a smug grin.

She yelped and growled at him, opening one eye to give him a half hearted glare, "What else? I know there's more I can feel it" she said closing her eye again.

"No actively searching for more of the Shargal Beasts when you do patrol" he said watching her face go carefully blank, the bond rippling slightly before she managed to calm it.

"That's an easy yes" she muttered, a faint blush rising on her cheeks.

"Don't lie to me" he snarled and she lifted her head to glare at him properly.

"I'm not, I won't actively search for them but, if one shows up, I'm not exactly gonna let it off with a stern warning am I" she said heatedly then dropped her head back down on the pillow.

"Then I come with you on every patrol" he said gritting his teeth in frustration.

"Fine by me but we'll have to get Dawn to move in so she can look after Bash while we're gone" she said pulling a hand out from under her head to scratch at an itch on her side, holding back the smug grin that wanted to assert itself because she knew he would never agree to that.

"How long have you known?" he asked brushing her hair away from her face so he could see her properly.

"Known what?" she asked nuzzling deeper into the pillow.

"That you wanted to marry me?" he asked smiling softly at her.

"What's the time?" she asked confusing him.

"Eleven fifty three" he told her after a quick look at the clock.

"Then I've known for exactly ten hours and thirty seven minutes" she replied with a grin at his mental eye roll "I watched you flicking through all those books and it hit me, I wanted to be your wife and not just your live in lover".

"You are not just my live in lover!" he said sharply trying to get her to roll over and look at him.

She moaned and whimpered at him until he gave up and just lay next to her with his face right in front of hers, "Chill Giles I don't mean it in a bad way. Bash nearly told you at dinner"

He blinked at her in shock, "Bash knows? How?"

"You really asking me that?" she asked opening her eye and staring at him in disbelief, "This is the kid who knows who it is on the phone before we answer it".

Giles just tutted and shook his head, "I suppose I should really find out just how much precognition he has"

"I still want an answer" she mumbled finally shifting to her side and curling into him.

His smile almost split his face, "Of course it's yes my love" he whispered shifting so he could pull her tighter against his body.

"Good we can start planning tomorrow" she muttered sliding her hand over his hip and giving his butt a little squeeze, "Sleep now please".

He yawned as he nodded and wrapped his arms around her. Tucking her head under his chin he fell asleep combing his fingers through her hair.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

 **Rating: M**

Chapter 14

"It's about time you two sorted things out, and just in time for Christmas" Ethan said when she rang to invite him to the wedding at the beginning of November "I'm already out fifty bucks because you two failed to consummate in the first two months after your move".

She could hear the grin and the familiar cockiness that seemed to pour out of him no matter what the situation was and she rolled her eyes, "You coming or not?" she asked testily and sighed at his laughter echoing down the line.

"My dear I wouldn't miss it for the world, I'll be there with bells on" he said cheerfully, privy to a juicy bit of information thanks to a seer who recently visited his club, "Oh and tell Rip that he will be having a stag do even if I have to drag him out of the house".

Buffy snorted in amusement and covered the mouthpiece with her hand, "Giles!" she called away from the phone.

 _What?_ He replied tersely making her giggle. He was in his study pouring over a manuscript the translators at the council were having trouble with and all she had gotten from him today was one word answers and grunts.

"Pick up the phone for a sec" she called back then listened for the click telling her he had picked up his receiver.

"What is it?" he asked and she smiled in anticipation.

"Ethan tell Giles what you told me" she said still grinning.

"Any plans for your stag night Rip?" Ethan asked a little less cocky now.

"Not having one. Why?" Giles asked sounding wary and Buffy heard the soft clunk of a book cover hitting the surface of Giles' desk. She could picture the confused frown that was almost definitely on his face as he stared at the wall of his study waiting for Ethan to answer.

"You are having one old boy and I will drag you out of the house if I have to. It's a sacred night for blokes especially when I've been planning yours for nigh on thirty years" Ethan said trying to sound commanding.

Giles snorted in amusement, "Like you could drag me out of the house"

"What do you mean you've been planning his bachelor party for thirty years?" Buffy asked at the same time. Visions of Giles being engaged to some tall, super intelligent, tweed wearing Watcher chick filled her head and she started to feel the old familiar stirrings of inadequacy that Riley had planted once upon a time and Spike had later amplified after her return from the dead.

"Back in the good ol' days before Eyghon he was seeing this bit of skirt that lasted longer than six months and we got off our nut one night and planned out a bachelor party. But then we summoned Eyghon and you know the rest" Ethan said a bit of nostalgia leaking into his voice, ignoring Giles' attempts to shut him up.

"Oh and what exactly did you two plan?" Buffy asked with a grin at the thoughts she was getting from Giles.

"Wouldn't you like to know kitten?" Ethan purred and laughed when Giles growled threateningly at him. "Would love to go ahead with the plan but I'm afraid it might kill us now" he finished regretfully, grinning at her laughter and Rippers discomfort.

"You know what, I don't think I do want to know after all," she said around a giggle, "you're guaranteed to live if I don't" she added menacingly.

Ethan just chuckled darkly, "Your threats don't work on me anymore lovey" he drawled.

"Mine will" Giles muttered, his attention slowly returning to the parchment in front of him.

"Sorry to say Rip but not even you can threaten me into silence anymore" Ethan said his voice leaking smugness.

"I'm going to hang up now before you both start acting like five year olds" Buffy said, her amusement at the situation obvious, "Let me know when you get the invite Ethan"

"I know your secrets Ethan so I'm willing to bet I can shut you up you berk" Giles muttered still only half of his attention on the conversation.

"And I know yours Rip. In fact I'm willing to bet you don't remember all you confessed the last time I was in Sunnyhell" Ethan said smugly.

Buffy sighed, half amused and half infuriated at the current childish display between the two men.

"Ethan I'm warning you!" Giles said angrily his full attention now on Ethan, "Not another word"

"About what? Julia? Or shall we move on to the other woman you saw yourself marrying, Jenny?" Ethan said having more fun than he had in a while. Needling Ripper always cheered him up "Or shall we talk about how neglected you felt that year and that you were thinking of going home to England?".

Buffy moaned and hung up the phone, her thoughts spinning around her head too fast for Giles to follow but the guilt and darkness spreading through her was all too clear.

"Why can't you think before you open your mouth you fucking idiot!" Giles roared slamming his fist into his desk and wishing it was Ethans face, "She didn't know about any of that!"

"Ah, I'm sorry Rip, I didn't know" he murmured sounding genuinely remorseful "but before you decide to tear me a new one I'm going to go, I'll see you in the Summer" Ethan said quickly hoping to distract him from the verbal beating he was sure he was going to receive.

"The summer? The wedding is in the spring" Giles said distractedly, focusing harder on Buffy and the increasingly dark mood that was taking her over.

"…but you aren't listening to a single word I'm saying so maybe I should just hang up and save myself some time trying to tell you that things are going to be a lot more interesting for a few months"

Giles' focus returned to the voice buzzing in his ear and he blinked in confusion, "What are you prattling on about?" he demanded irritated at how his day had turned out

"You'll find out soon enough" Ethan said around a grin, "be seein' ya Rip"

Giles sighed as he replaced the handset and stood, his translation forgotten for the time being as the more important matter of the darkness emanating from his love took priority.

"Buffy?" he called through the closed bedroom door, "Can I come in?"

"Sure" she called back, the lifeless tone of her voice making his insides flutter with fear.

He pushed open the door and saw her sitting on the bench under the window, her legs tucked up underneath her, her elbow on the windowsill and her fist under her chin as she stared out at the street, her other hand lay over her abdomen until she lifted it and wiped away a stray tear.

"What is it love?" he asked her in a gentle voice as he sat opposite her and lay his hands on her knees, "I'm sorry I never told you about any of, well, any of what happened that year, or about Julia I just didn't think it was important"

Her head turned towards him and she stared at him in surprise, a flash of hurt passing between them before she controlled it, "Is that what you think is bothering me? I don't care about an old girlfriend Giles" she said in a voice barely louder than a whisper before turning back to the window.

"Then what's wrong? I can feel...darkness and guilt...I don't know how else to describe it love" he said still in that same gentle voice as if he was trying to coax a suicidal person back from the ledge, "Talk to me Buffy, please?"

Her gaze flicked to him and then back to the window before her face crumpled and the tears began to flow in earnest, "I've hurt you so much...why do you love me?" she whispered before covering her face and sobbing harder as he tutted and pulled her into his arms.

Understanding lit his features as he held her, shifting into a better position as she crawled onto his lap, "Jenny was never your fault love" he murmured, "and I've hurt you just as much, if not more..." he trailed off when she violently shook her head and sat up, sliding off his lap and wiping her face on the bottom of her t-shirt.

"You haven't... you couldn't... after Bash there's nothing you could do to hurt me like that" she said haltingly looking down at her tightly clenched hands in her lap.

He silently agreed with her and flinched at the mental slap she sent his way having forgotten, just for a split second, that she heard everything, "Sorry love" he said coaxing her hands to lay flat against his before linking their fingers, "Why is this affecting you so badly all of a sudden, we've spoken about Jenny and everything that happened in Sunnydale at length and you didn't react like this..." he trailed off when he caught the almost successfully obscured thought that flitted through her head.

"Don't get excited it's just a thought" she said bluntly when he gasped in pleased surprise.

"Truly? Is that what could be causing the nightmares and the, the..." he jumped to his feet and raced from the room, "I'll be back soon" he called over his shoulder and she sighed as she pulled her phone from her back pocket.

She flipped it open and opened her call list, selected the number she wanted and lifted the phone to her ear and waited as it rang.

"Hey Buff, Bash is fine but then you'd know if he wasn't coz of your mind link thingy" Dawn answered and Buffy grinned at how happy she sounded, the sound of Bash giggling drifting over the line had her shaking her head in amusement.

"Wanna have a sleep over with him? Things have happened and I want the night for just me and Giles" Buffy said cryptically as she wiped the last vestiges of tears from her face.

"Mum's having another baby" she heard Bash say and laughed at Dawns spluttering as she felt him give her a mental hug.

"Seriously?!" Dawn shouted in Buffy's ear making her wince.

"Thanks for that Dawn" she said switching the phone to the other side as she wiggled her finger in her ear trying to get rid of the ringing, "And until the munchkin said that I wasn't sure, Giles has gone to buy a pregnancy test. But I have a feeling I am and I think it's a boy and not a girl but..."

"Buff? Stop babbling, I'll have him for the night, gives me an excuse to eat my weight in ice cream and cookies" Dawn said happily, "we can watch Iron Man so I can drool over Robert Downey Jr and he can work off the sugar trying to copy the fight scenes. I'll bring him back around three".

"Don't want a brother" Bash grumbled loud enough that she heard it and both Dawn and Buffy snorted with barely suppressed laughter.

 _Love you munchkin_ she said and blew him a mental kiss, "Have fun guys, I'll see you tomorrow afternoon then"

"Oh I want a phone call if Bash is right, like as soon as you take the test" Dawn demanded sounding like an excited teenager again and Buffy felt the dark cloud returning when she realised it wasn't just Giles she hurt by not telling anyone about Bash.

"Count on it squirt" she said with false cheer then hung up, staring at the phone in her hand as it lay on her lap.

She sank back against the windowsill and sighed, making sure she put her walls up so Bash couldn't feel her guilt and worry. If there was one thing she truly hated about their shared link it was not knowing whether she was damaging her son by exposing him to her thoughts, feelings and memories.

 _You're not love_ Giles whispered in her head and she smiled.

 _Yeah? Even when I'm like this?_ She asked him, wincing because even her mental voice sounded detached and lifeless.

 _He knows you're sad, that's all, he wants me to make you happy again_ he said and she felt his voice wrap around her like a caress, soothing her the way it always had.

 _Talking about me huh? Okay, you best hurry home with that pregnancy test then coz I have a feeling seeing you do a happy dance will put a smile on my face_ and she smiled when she heard his chuckle.

 _I'll be as quick as I can_ he said and she felt the darkness that had settled over her dissipate slightly when his excitement at the prospect of another child broke through the haze.

She stayed connected with him partly because he wanted it but mostly because she did as well. His ability to give her comfort not lessened by the fact he wasn't even there.

She smiled at his response to her thoughts and stood, feeling the need for ice cream and chocolate.

When he walked through the front door twenty minutes later he saw her sitting on the floor next to the coffee table with his tub of strawberry cheesecake ice cream open in front of her and a spoon halfway to her mouth dripping chocolate sauce onto the hand she held underneath it while she watched a film on the TV.

"Is there any left for me?" he asked, dropping his keys on the end table along with the pregnancy test.

She grinned around the spoon her eyes flashing with amusement, "Not a lot no" she mumbled around the ice cream, giggling when he stood in front of her and lifted the nearly empty carton, tipping it up to see what was left while she licked the sauce from her palm.

"You owe me another tub" he said taking the spoon from her and scooping out the last syrupy spoonful for himself before dropping to the floor next to her and leaning forward for a sweet but sticky kiss.

"No I don't" she mumbled against his lips, "I'm giving you another kid, my debts are paid" she said standing and looking down at him with a smug grin on her face.

The burst of happiness that shot through him at those words made her grin widen into a dazzling smile and she felt his eyes on her as she picked up the test and walked towards the stairs. He pushed himself to his feet and followed her, waiting in their bedroom for her to finish in the bathroom.

"Well?" he asked when she walked through the door.

"It takes two minutes" she said walking past him and putting the plastic stick on her bedside table before crawling onto the bed behind him and wrapping her arms around his shoulders, "You'll have to wait".

"What happens if you are pregnant?" he asked and she heard the slight trace of fear in his voice he was trying to hold back from her.

She bent her head and kissed the side of his neck, "I make an appointment at the doctors and then comes the scans and pre natal vitamins and check ups and blood tests and more scans and check ups and then the birth" she said grinning when she felt his heart rate speed up.

"And what do I do during all of that?" he asked rubbing a hand over her arm.

"Just be you love," she said resting her chin on his shoulder, "be there for when I'm feeling weepy or fed up and be willing to go get me food at any time of the day and night coz the cravings can be a real bitch" she said with a resigned sigh.

She shifted until she was straddling his lap and combed her fingers through his hair, trailing them down to his shoulders and giving him a gentle massage to help release some of his tension. "Tell me I'm beautiful even when I resemble a blimp and definitely don't take my mood swings personally"

Giles smiled when her softly spoken words brought images to life in his minds eye. Images that were easily fabricated thanks to the pictures she had provided when she was pregnant with Bash.

"I'm entirely sure you won't resemble a blimp but you will be beautiful to me no matter what you look like my love" he said opening his eyes and looking up at her, frowning when he noticed the tears falling from her lashes, "Buffy? What is it?"

"Two blue lines" she whispered sliding off his lap and rushing over to the bed side table. She laughed and spun towards him holding out the test so he could see for himself, "I guess the pill stopped working" she muttered when he took the little plastic stick from her and stared down at it in awe.

"This time I get to see it all for myself instead of in pictures" he muttered. He was so completely focused on the two blue lines confirming that a second child would be joining their family that he missed the wave of guilt that crashed through her at his words.

Sure she new he hadn't meant it to hurt her but it did anyway, the voice in her head telling her it shouldn't hurt this much that something was wrong was easily ignored. Sighing softly to herself she slipped from the room while he was absorbed in the sight of a positive result and silently made her way downstairs. She had pulled on her sneakers and gently retrieved her keys before she heard his voice call out for her.

She concentrated for a second before she pulled a shield up and around herself, keeping him out while she silently slipped from the house. She could still hear him calling for her, still hear the worry in his voice but she didn't have it in her to respond.

It was taking everything she had just to keep from crying as she ran down the street and away from their house.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Stop it! I did what you asked, now leave her alone" Ethan shouted at the robed figure in front of him, pulling against the ropes that bound him to the chair he had been forced into "She doesn't deserve this, she's done nothing to you!"

"You know nothing of what they have or haven't done" the figure growled, anger dripping from every word as the image of Buffy running through a park and dropping down behind a large tree glittered in the air above the cauldron in front of them, "They need to pay for the life they took from me. Her suffering will cause him pain which is enough until I can cause it myself" the figure muttered flicking their fingers and making the image change to Giles frantically searching the house, the expression on his face a mixture of fear and worry. The figure chuckled before turning around and facing him, "Get him ready for transport, we're going back to England".

"You won't get away with this, they'll figure…" pain exploded through his head and he groaned, fighting the blackness that was inching it's way across his vision.

"Oh I hope they do figure it out, it's more fun if they do" the figure said with a laugh.

Ethan rolled his head back on his shoulders and looked up at the person standing in front of him as they slowly lowered their hood, his eyes widening with recognition when he finally saw who was hiding behind it.

"Oh bollocks" he mumbled before the blackness finally took him.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Dawn, has your sister called you?" Giles asked as he paced the length of the living room, his gaze constantly moving between the clock and the front door.

"Yeah about half an hour ago to ask me to have a sleep over with Bash and to tell me she might be pregnant" Dawn said sounding miffed, "She said she'd call me when she knew for sure"

Giles closed his eyes and wiped a hand down his face, "She left and I can't reach her, where's Bash?"

His question was answered by the sound of his son crying out in pain and fear. The sound of Dawn leaping from the sofa and dropping her phone, a bowl shattering as it hit the floor echoed down the line and he gripped his handset tighter as he heard Bash calling out for his mother in his head.

"Holy shit!" he heard Dawn shout then a few seconds later he heard her scrambling for the phone, "Giles?!"

"What happened? Is he alright?" he asked doing his best to push back the panic that was ripping it's way through him.

"He...he vanished" Dawn muttered and he heard her running around her living room, the sound of things hitting the floor echoing down the line, "He said Mama hurt then vanished, did you know he could do that?"

"No I...oh god Buffy" he cried when he felt Bash in his head calling for him, the image of Buffy laying at the base of a large sycamore filling his head, "She's at the park near us, Dawn..."

"I'm on my way" she said cutting him off.

He threw the phone down onto the sofa and ran from the house, the sound of his son crying echoing in his head.

When he reached the spot Bash had called him to he saw his son kneeling next to his mother, pushing on her shoulder and pleading with her to get up. He skidded to a stop next to them, his hands working on automatic while his heart stuttered erratically in his chest.

"Giles!" Willow called out his name as soon as she appeared next to them, catching Bash when he jumped up into her arms, "Dawn called, what happened?".

"She's breathing, her colours good, there's no injuries, it must be magical" Giles mumbled to himself, running his fingers through her hair against her scalp again.

"Giles take Bash, let me help her" Willow said rubbing her hand up and down Bash's back trying to offer what comfort she could.

Giles looked up and blinked in surprise when he saw Willow kneeling opposite him, her face a mask of total calm belying the fear and panic shining from her eyes. He looked down into the face of his son, staring at him with wide eyes filled with fear and confusion, tears rolling down his cheeks with his fingers in his mouth as he hiccuped around them and he nodded.

He held out his hands to Bash who scrambled over to him, climbing into his lap as Giles sat back against the tree to give Willow more room and wrapped his arms tightly around his neck, twisting his head around so he could see his mother and what was happening. They both watched Willow as she waved her hands over Buffy, her eyes closed in concentration.

"Oh God, what happened?" Dawn asked breathlessly as she came running up to them, "And where is...anybody else? This place is usually packed" she said looking around them at the emptiness of the park. Over the years she had realised that if she focused on the insignificant, the trivial, she didn't fall apart when the badness happened.

"There is a fair at the other end of the park today" Giles said tonelessly, his arms tightening around Bash when he whimpered. He put his hand on his head and tucked it under his chin, hoping to keep him from watching Willow work on his mother.

Buffy suddenly gasped and sat up, grasping at Willows hands as she tried to calm her enough to focus, "What...how..."

"Buffy!" Giles cried, awkwardly lurching forward with Bash in his arms, not seeing the panic and confusion in her eyes.

Both he and Bash wrapped their arms around her at the same time, "What happened?" she asked pulling away from them and looking around herself at Dawn and Willow, "Who are you people? Who am I?"

Giles clamped down on the pain that ripped through him at her words and looked at Willow for an explanation.

"Someone cast a really powerful memory charm on her, I was trying to figure out which one when she woke up" she said with a frown. She looked at him and answered the question she knew he would ask as she slowly shook her head, "Without knowing which one was cast I could do more harm than good if I try to remove it"

"What's going on?" Buffy asked, getting to her feet and backing away from them. Her eyes darted to the little boy holding onto the man's hand and her heart lurched at the tears she saw on his face. She wanted to take him in her arms and console him but she didn't know why.

"You collapsed, do you remember anything?" Dawn asked gently.

Buffy frowned and looked at each of them, "All I remember is two blue lines, what does that mean?"

Giles moaned and dropped his chin to his chest, he had seen no recognition, no love in her eyes, the significance of what seemed to be her only memory not lost on him. Bash let go of his fathers hand and walked up to Buffy grinning at her.

"You're my Mum" he said without hesitation.

"Am I?" she asked in surprise then smiled and dropped to her knees in front of him, "I would most definitely remember being your Mom sweetie, are you sure?"

"Yep, I'll help you remember" he said then gripped her head between his hands.

Giles lurched forward as Buffy tried to push Bash away, fear overtaking every other emotion currently tearing him apart at the thought of what she might do to him. He stopped and blinked rapidly in surprise as Buffy weakly dropped her hands and sat back on her heels, Bash walking forward with her until he was nose to nose, still smiling widely.

After a few minutes a glow started to emanate from where he was touching her and everyone took a step back as it began to grow brighter. Willow quickly cast a diversion spell on the air around them so that if anyone passed by and saw them they wouldn't realise what they were seeing and would just carry on walking.

Giles couldn't see or hear anything that was going on and it was making him uncomfortable. He had grown so used to being connected to his son and his lover in such a short time that being without them made him feel lonely.

"Hey didn't Angel say Cordy did something like that for his kid?" Dawn whispered to Willow, her eyes glued to the ball of bright blue light that had consumed her sister and nephew.

"Kinda like that but not the same" Willow muttered fascinated by what Bash was doing.

Giles was only half listening to them mutter, his brain going through the connotations of Bash's ability to teleport at the age of four, at the power he obviously possessed to be able to do something like this. At the same time he went over everything that had happened in the last few days, re-examined everyone they spoke to or came into contact with.

The only person with the knowledge and skill to pull this off was Ethan and the growl that rumbled through his chest made Willow and Dawn squeak and take a step back in surprise.

 _I'm going to kill him_ he thought venomously.

 _No you're not_ he heard from Buffy and he moaned out in relief, dropping to his knees as the light disappeared and he saw Buffy hugging Bash.

He crawled over to them and grabbed her face between his hands. He looked down at her for a few seconds, looking for the recognition and the love he had missed before. Finding it he pressed his lips to hers sobbing in relief.

"Take me home" she said when he had pulled back.

Bash, who had slipped from his mothers lap and run over to his Aunt, giggled and said, "I still stay Aunty Dawns right?"

"Yeah, we still have ice cream and popcorn and sugary treats to eat" Dawn said with a giggle at a dancing Bash.

"Buff we need to figure out what happened and make sure it can't happen again" Willow said smiling down at Bash who had gripped her hand and was looking up at her with a serious face.

"It was Uncle Ethan" Bash said sadly, "He in trouble, bad lady make him do stuff"

"What bad lady son?" Giles asked lifting him into his arms as they started the walk back to the house.

Bash shrugged, "Dunno just bad lady, she knows you and Uncle Ethan and Mum though" he said then pushed against his fathers shoulders and wiggled to be let down.

Buffy slipped her hand in his and laid her head against his bicep, her other hand curling around his forearm, "Someone all three of us knows?" she murmured with a frown, "Is there someone we all know?"

Giles looked down at her and pulled his arm free of her grip, wrapping it around her shoulders and pulling her against his side, "Not to my knowledge but we can talk about that later, I want to know why you snuck out of the house" he said in a whisper.

She replayed the moment he had taken the stick from her and he felt her shudder when she remembered what he had said, "I don't get why it hurt so much, I had been thinking that exact same thing while you were gone and how different it was gonna be so..."

"We were manipulated love" he said as they stopped at the bottom of the stairs leading to their front door, "Everything you were feeling was being magnified to make you vulnerable"

"Still, I'm sorry I scared you" she said turning in his arms and facing him, "Why don't we go inside and do our best to erase the last hour, starting with a bath" she purred, her finger tracing an imaginary line down the centre of his chest.

Giles blinked and shook his head to dispel the images she had evoked, lifting his hand to brush his knuckles over her cheek, "Sounds like a plan love" he whispered bending his head to place a kiss on her smiling mouth.

He had intended it to be a sweet, loving kiss, an affirmation of their bond and the love they shared but she shifted slightly and ran her hands up his chest, pressing herself more firmly against him and the kiss shifted into one of promise and desire.

"Oh gross, get a room guys, seriously"

Dawns voice brought them back to reality with a jolt and they pulled away from each other with guilty grins on their faces.

"Sorry Dawn" Buffy muttered as she climbed the steps and slipped past her into the house, Giles just grinning unrepentantly as he followed his future wife.

"Sure ya are" Dawn said with a smirk as she shut the front door, "So Buff, wanna tell us what the two blue lines are?"

Buffy sat on the sofa with Bash and Willow, a secretive smile on her face, "What are you talking about Dawn?"

"Don't play dumb, it doesn't suit you" Dawn said sternly, fisting her hands on her hips and glaring at her sister.

Bash giggled at his Aunt as he slipped off of the sofa and ran over to his Dad, climbing up onto his lap. Giles lifted him up and positioned him more comfortably, his smile growing when he saw her happiness.

"Yeah ok," Buffy said and sighed, "I'm pregnant"

Giles and Bash both flinched when Willow and Dawn screamed in delight and threw themselves at Buffy, crushing her in a hug.

XXXXXXXXXX

Thousands of miles away a scream of rage and frustration echoed through an empty club, light bulbs exploded above their heads sending the Vampires running for cover and the Shargal Beasts warily watching the sorceress. The attempt had failed and the backlash of the spell breaking had left a feeling of weakness that would take days to recover from.

"Bloody kid, why didn't you tell me he was that powerful?" she asked Ethan, turning towards him when she didn't get a response. She stomped over to him and grasped a fistful of his hair, "Well? Answer...bollocks you're unconscious" she said letting go of his hair and smiling with satisfaction when his head thunked against the floor.

"I guess I'll just have to take him out too" she said watching the celebration unfold in the haze above the cauldron, "enjoy it while it lasts Ripper, your family won't be happy for long"


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

 **Rating: T**

Chapter 15

Buffy was getting grouchier by the minute lately something that Xander took delight in teasing her about whenever the opportunity arose which amused Bash to no end. Since she had been banned from patrolling by the girls, who refused to let her join them since she started showing, and Giles after a near miss with some more of the Shargals when he was with her, she was suffering from a build up of energy and no real way to release it. So she snapped at people, she was snarky and her patience was almost nonexistent.

She sighed and looked down at her bump, running a hand over it when she felt the little flutter that meant baby was moving. She was five and a half months pregnant and Bash, who had gotten upset that she was having another boy, refused to look at scan pictures when they brought them home or even listen to them talk to him about it, huffing in annoyance and sulking when they tried to include him.

Giles had been giddy since the night she told him she was pregnant and, still feeling a little residual guilt over Bash, she had let him have his way a lot more than she felt she would have under different circumstances. Letting him help her with the chores even though she didn't need it. laying on the sofa so he could sit and talk or sing to her stomach each night and she agreed to let him rub the cocoa butter cream into her skin after every shower so she could avoid the stretch marks.

She didn't really mind that bit though, well any of it really, but that bit was special because it would always end up with a full body massage which would inevitably lead to a mind blowing orgasm. She also allowed the progress pictures he wanted to take to document this pregnancy the same way she had done with Bash, standing there trying not to laugh at the awe on his face when he would flick through the ones he had already taken. But she drew the line at him telling her that she should be eating healthier food.

She grinned to herself at the memory of him backing away from her plate of spaghetti, sausages and chicken pie, his hands held high in surrender with a grin on his face, Bash giggling hysterically at him when she told him if he came between her and her food she wouldn't be responsible for the damage. The fact that she had fisted her fork and was glaring at him as she said it didn't factor into it, he knew she wasn't serious.

He was out now with Bash being all secretive and was evasive whenever she asked what he was doing. She huffed out an annoyed sigh when she tried to see inside his head again and came up against the annoyingly familiar jumble of thoughts and memories he was using to keep her out.

"Giles still blocking you?" Willow asked, grinning when Buffy scowled and nodded in confirmation.

"He still won't tell me what's going on" she grumbled, rubbing her forehead, "Do you know what he's up to?"

"Nope but even if I did I wouldn't tell you," Willow said grinning gleefully now, "It's a surprise"

Buffy narrowed her eyes at her in speculation, her scowl deepening when she realised Willow was lying, "Fine don't tell me, I'm going out"

"Uh, Buff?" Xander said from across the room, his head lifting from the arm of the sofa and turning towards her and away from the TV, "Giles said you're not supposed to leave the protection of the house and the wards the coven put up"

Buffy fixed him with a glare as she stood and he lifted his hands in surrender, "I'm bored!" she snapped stomping over to the shoe rack, "I need to get out of this house. I'm going nuts!" she muttered angrily, slipping her shoes on.

"Giles is just being protective guy Buff" Willow said calmly hoping to placate her.

"I know that!" Buffy snapped then grimaced apologetically and blew out a breath "I know, it's just..."

 _I just want to keep you safe love_ she heard his soft, gentle voice whisper calmly in her head.

 _I get that but there's keeping me safe and there's keeping me a prisoner. Guess which one you're doing?_ She replied lifting her messenger bag from the coat rack.

"The attacks seem to be only focused on you Buff," Xander said, oblivious to the conversation happening in her head. Swinging his legs off the sofa and, with an exaggerated groan, pushed himself to his feet, "except for that one time with Bash and Dawn..." he trailed off with a nervous gulp when she glared at him.

"I'm going out," she said twisting her hair into a messy bun and securing it with a hair tie, "Come with or don't it's up to you but I'm buying lunch"

 _Buffy, please stay in the house_ Giles begged her, Bash's wordless plea echoing around his words.

 _No, I'll see you later_ she said then imagined a door slamming in her head, using the only effective way to keep him out.

"So, lunch? I want burgers" she said pulling open the door and jogging happily down the steps ahead of them.

Willow glanced at Xander, a smirk twitching her lips, as she pulled the door shut. Both of them thinking the same thing; Giles was a genius.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Mum's mad ain't she Dad?" Bash asked with a smile.

"Yes I believe she is" Giles said grinning back at him as he strapped him into his car seat, "And it's _isn't_ not _ain't_ "

Bash giggled and kicked at the seat in front of him as Giles tucked the bags onto the seat next to him, "Mum's going to be sooo surprised isn't she Dad" he said kicking happily.

"Stop that" Giles said before shutting the door and walking around to his side of the car.

Bash ignored him, reached down into the big bag and took the box from the little bag inside it wanting to see the sparkle again. He shut the lid with a snap and shoved his hand down the side of his leg as Giles got into the car, grinning innocently at him when he looked back at him.

"Yes that is the idea son" Giles said, replying to his earlier comment, "I just hope I haven't pissed her off too much"

"Uh oh, Dad said a bad word" Bash trilled trying to look stern like Giles did when he told him off.

Giles huffed out a chuckle as he pulled his seatbelt out and pushed it into the clasp, "You're quite right Bash, my apologies" he said stuffily, grinning at Bash's giggle.

"She happy right now though, eating burgers" Bash said resuming his rhythmic kicking against the passenger seat.

"Burgers? As in more than one?" Giles asked twisting in his seat to push Bash's feet back down.

"Yup, two of them" Bash muttered, his fist tightening around the little box and hoping he wouldn't notice. He would need to wait until they were at home before he put it back now or he would get into trouble for touching it.

Giles sighed and turned back to the front, putting the key in the ignition, "Shall we go home and pack then little one?" he asked as he started the car.

"Yay! We going on holiday" he cried excitedly lifting both his hands in the air, the box left safely beside his leg.

"It's not a holiday Bash, it's just a weekend away so your Mum can relax and you can run around without worrying about another bad man scaring you" he said as he pulled out of the car park and indicated to get back onto the road.

Bash giggled, "Bad man made funny noise when I made him fly"

Giles chuckled, shaking his head at the memory. A vampire had made an attempt to grab him while he was walking home with Dawn the previous week but instead of being scared he had laughed and made him float, making it easier for Dawn to stake him.

Dawn had walked through the front door with Bash on her back proudly telling them he had scored his first assist, Bash excitedly telling them what had happened at the same time, both oblivious to the anger emanating from Buffy.

Giles had tried to calm her but she wasn't having any of it, pacing angrily up and down the living room as Bash watched from his Aunts lap, ranting and spewing savage threats to anyone that would threaten her baby.

It wasn't until Bash had jumped into her arms and showed her his memory of the attack that she stopped and calmed down, wrapping Bash tightly in her arms as she dropped into an armchair with him. She had shared a terrified look with him before turning her attention back to Bash and making sure he was really ok.

"Yes, well, hopefully that won't happen again" he said looking at him in the mirror, "It wouldn't be good for your Mum to go on a murderous rampage through London in her condition"

Bash nodded and looked back at him seriously, "But she gonna need to fight soon"

Giles' gaze flicked to his son as he did his best to hide the shock that ripped through him at his words, "Why will she need to fight?" he asked dreading the answer.

"Bad lady coming" Bash said scowling out of the window.

"When is she coming son?" he asked him, the atmosphere in the car noticeably cooling a few degrees.

"Don't know, soon" he said then resumed kicking the back of the chair.

Giles watched him until the light turned green and he had to focus back on the road, "Stop that" he snapped, ignoring Bash's devious giggle as a block of ice cold fear settled heavily in his gut.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Xander watched in awe as Buffy tucked into her second burger, "Hungry Buff?" he asked before lifting his milkshake and absently sucking on the straw.

"Yeah, was with Bash too" she mumbled around her mouthful of food then swallowed and grinned at him, "in a couple of months you'll get to see me finish off two large stuffed crust supreme pizzas if you're lucky"

"Two pizzas!" Willow spluttered, choking on her soda, "what the hell have you got cooking in there, a garbage disposal?" she asked, giggling at Xanders shocked but impressed expression.

Buffy rolled her eyes at Willow and shook her head, "A boy and as we both know boys can easily consume twice their body weight in one sitting" she said trying not to laugh at Xanders spluttering.

"I did that once!" he said indignantly. His expression turned sheepish when Buffy and Willow just gave him knowing looks, "Ok, yeah, maybe it was twice...three times but that's all I'm admitting to" he said giving the girls an embarrassed grin when they started to laugh.

"Figured out what you're calling sprout yet?" Willow asked as she started gathering the remnants of their lunch, stacking the empty cartons together on the trays.

"Giles and I agreed on a name last week" she said adding her rubbish to the pile.

"Well, what is it?" Xander asked when Buffy didn't elaborate.

"Oh, we're not telling you guys, not yet anyway" she said, smirking at their identical looks of disappoint.

"Why not? It's not like it's bad luck or something" Xander whined before noisily finishing his milkshake. He saw Buffy look down at the table to try and hide her grin and pushed the straw out of his mouth, "Oh God, I'm right aren't I, it is bad luck"

Buffy looked up at him with a laugh and shook her head, "Of course it isn't, we just want to keep it to ourselves that's all"

"But it's us" Willow pouted, "We're family and you're supposed to tell family the names of unborn children and when you're actually planning to marry your forever guy" she said with a sly grin at Xander when he nodded his agreement.

"Wedding won't be happening until we find Ethan and get rid of whatever, or whoever, is doing their damnedest to get me. And Bash and Giles" she added with a frown, their involvement more troubling to her than her own, "and as for the name, it's something that's just for us at the moment, you get that right?"

"Sure Buff we get it it's just, well, we wanna know" Xander whined, looking at her with big puppy dog eyes.

Buffy laughed at him and stood up, leaning forward to take the tray and dump it in the bin, "Tough, you're gonna have to wait" she said then shook her head in resignation and walking away when Willow added her puppy dog look to Xanders.

Buffy walked back to their table and collected her bags just as Bash called for her in her head.

 _Come home now Mum_ he told her and she smiled at the tone he had learned to mimic from Giles.

 _I'll be home in a little while, I'm just going to a few more shops_ she said rolling her eyes at Willow when she raised her eyebrows in question at her chuckle.

 _No now, you need to come home now_ he demanded and Buffy could feel the slightest hint of desperation and fear to his thoughts.

 _Ok baby, I'm coming, be there as soon as I can_ she said, clenching her jaw when he telegraphed his relief and her heart rate jumped up a notch.

"What is it Buff?" Willow asked, seeing the panicked look in her eye.

"Bash wants me to come home, I think something's happened or is happening, he sounded weird" she said spinning around and walking the other way without warning.

Willow and Xander exchanged a secretive smirk before rushing after her, their expressions suitably worried by the time they caught up with her at the car.

Half an hour later Buffy charged through her front door, tensed for an attack or a fight or the sight of a paint can knocked over with its contents spread in a circle over her floor. Nothing would have been a surprise to her thanks to an overactive imagination and a learner driver holding them up on the drive home that had given her time to panic and worry.

What she didn't expect was to find Giles and Bash standing in the middle of the room, next to their suitcases, smiling happily and not a hair out of place. Buffy stared at them in shock for a few seconds before she bent over and gripped her knees, her head swimming as adrenaline surged through her blood.

"Buffy!" Giles cried, quickly putting Bash down before hurrying to her side, "What is it? What's wrong?" he asked her, clamping down on the protective instinct that had grown exponentially since the night they had found out she was pregnant, as he guided her to the couch.

He looked over at Willow and Xander who had come in after her and were standing just inside the door with baffled expressions on their faces, "Did anything happen while you were out?"

"Buffy ate two double whoppers that's about it for anything out of the ordinary happening" Xander said glibly, taking Bash's hand when he held it out for him and walked over to the sofa where he saw a new copy of a comic he had gotten Bash interested in.

"Yeah, nothing bad happened, didn't even get sore feet" Willow said trying not to giggle as she watched Giles trying not to panic.

"Bash sounded scared and a little desperate" Buffy said looking over at him then back up at Giles as he hovered over her, "I thought something was attacking you"

Bash ducked his head trying to hide a small grin when Giles turned to look at him, "I told you not to scare her Bash" he said with a disapproving frown.

"She wasn't gonna come home, you pissed her off too much" Bash said his chin jutting out stubbornly.

"Sebastian!" both Buffy and Giles snapped, both wearing almost identical expressions of shocked outrage.

Xander slapped a hand over his mouth when a muffled giggle escaped his tightly clamped lips and Willow quickly ducked from the room, unable to stop her own giggles. Bash watched them with a baffled expression wondering what was going on as he looked back at Buffy and Giles.

"Dad said it!" he muttered mulishly, looking at them stubbornly.

Buffy's head whipped around to pin Giles with a glare and smacked at his arm, connecting with the tips of her fingers, "Thank you for teaching him that" she said acidly, "Now, would you like to explain why our suitcases are sitting in the middle of the living room?"

Giles, who had been rubbing the spot on his arm that she had connected with, cleared his throat and sat down next to her on the couch, "I've booked a weekend away at Leeds Castle in the Knight's Cottage so we can have a few days where Bash can run around and explore and you can stop worrying about being attacked" he said running a hand up and down her arm. He could feel her start to relax and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Wait a minute, why didn't you just contact me, why get Bash to do it?" she asked leaning back to look at him, her eyebrows lowered in confusion, "Why are you still hiding stuff from me?" she pouted at him, a grin taking over when she heard his silent sigh and subsequent chuckle.

"Ah, well, I have a surprise planned you see, wouldn't do for you to get a glimpse before I'm ready" he said with a pleased grin when he felt a surge of curiosity flow between them.

"Oh" she shifted deeper into the chair and tucked her feet under her, "ok then" she said with a dignified nod.

Giles laughed and bent to place a tender kiss on her lips, grinning when he heard her humming the song she said was theirs in her head, "Why are you humming my love?" he asked out loud and she frowned up at him in confusion.

"I'm not, I thought that was you" she said laying her head against his shoulder with a blissful smile on her face, finally relaxed enough to be happy about going away for a few days.

Bash, still sitting across the room with Xander reading one of his new comics, wrinkled his nose and stared at Buffy, his confusion turning into a scowl, "Shut up Lucas" he said loudly making Buffy and Giles jump apart and stare at him in shock.

"Bash! That was a secret!" Buffy snapped rubbing a hand protectively over her stomach. Her hand stopped midway down when the humming in her head stopped, staring up at Giles in shock at the same time he looked down at her, "HE was humming?!" she said loudly looking down at her bump in surprise.

"No it sounded like you, he was just replaying a memory" Giles said as he slipped to the floor, staring at her stomach in awe.

"His name is Lucas?" Willow asked coming into the room with a tray holding mugs of tea and a hot chocolate for Bash.

"Yeah, Lucas Alexander" Buffy said, her face shining with happiness, her grin widening as she glanced at Xanders reaction.

"Seriously?" Xander said, surprised that they were using his name.

"We both agreed" Giles said bending his head and kissing Buffys stomach, "Clever little one aren't you" he whispered and Buffy brushed her fingers through his hair, smiling tenderly at the scene he presented.

"Lucas is gonna be a pain in the butt" Bash muttered, still scowling at his parents.

Xander heard him through the stunned fog that had settled over him and he looked down, a half smile on his face, "Brothers are supposed to be a pain in the butt" he said to him, ruffling his hair, "I had a best friend when I was a kid who was like my brother and we would constantly annoy each other"

"Where is he now?" Bash asked lifting another comic from the pile.

"He died, not long after I met your Mom" Xander said mournfully.

Bash looked up at him, seeing the sadness in his eyes and the slight lift to his lips as a memory pulled him away from the present, and patted him on the arm to get his attention.

"Sorry little man, where were we?" he asked smiling for Bash's benefit as he lifted the comic back onto his lap.

"I'm sorry you lost your brother Xander" he said softly, accepting the one armed hug Xander gave him, "Do you want mine?" he asked with a cheeky grin, laughing when Xander fell against the back of the couch with a deep barking laugh.

Willow, having seen and heard the entire conversation, smiled fondly at them as she sipped her tea. She turned her head and watched Giles and Buffy being sweet with each other, grinning when Giles gasped in shock at the movement he felt under his palm, pushing himself to his feet and sitting back at her side.

Buffy, having had at least ten years of her life scared off of her by Bash, was now enjoying the simple pleasure of seeing Giles' face when the baby kicked hard enough to allow him to feel it as well.

"He's got quite a kick for his age hasn't he" Giles said, his voice still barely above a whisper as he pushed an arm behind her head and pulled her into his side.

"Ouch!" Buffy grumbled, rubbing her side, "Yes he does"

"We were fully utilising the bond when we conceived Lucas, I wonder what advantages that would give him as simply being bonded gave Bash his enhanced abilities" Giles said his mind already travelling down the paths he thought would lead him to answers.

Buffy twisted her head around and narrowed her eyes at him, her own mind conceiving ways to keep him from disappearing into a pile of books. She felt his hand absently tracing patterns on her hip and shuddered at the memory of him doing that with his tongue on other parts of her body the night before.

"Oh shit" she muttered, dropping her head back and smacking her forehead when the implications of the humming sunk in.

"What is it love?" Giles asked having missed her thought process altogether.

 _He can hear me humming_ she said telepathically after a nervous glance around the room told her that Willow was watching them.

 _I know and it obviously soothes him enough that he thought it would soothe you_ Giles replied unable to hide his confusion, or his pride.

Buffy looked at him and rolled her eyes, _If he can hear the humming then what else can he hear?_ She asked patiently, waiting for the penny to drop.

Giles reached the conclusion she had arrived at and looked down at her in horror, _Dear God_ he said looking at her stomach.

 _Don't you dare suggest we stop having sex Rupert Giles!_ she said angrily, glaring at him as he looked away from her trying to hide the grin that had erupted on his face at her words.

 _I wasn't going to suggest anything of the sort_ he said dropping a kiss on her lips.

 _Good coz I would've just used that voucher Faith sent for my birthday, bought some toys and made you watch as I had fun to tempt you into joining in_ she said teasing him with a few images.

 _Can we do that anyway?_ he asked laughing when she shoved him away and stood up.

"Am I right in thinking you two are staying here so no whack jobs or beasties can break in and leave a nasty little surprise for us?" Buffy asked looking at Willow and Xander.

"Yup, that's the plan" Xander said without looking away from the comic resting on his and Bash's laps.

"Dawn's gonna stay too so it'll kinda be like the sleep overs we'd have back in highschool when you would be off on a long patrol" Willow said with a little happy bounce in her chair.

Buffy giggled at her excitement and crouched down in front of the bags, laying one flat and tugging at the zipper.

"What are you doing love?" Giles asked, watching her over the back of the couch.

"Checking you've packed everything" she said, smirking at his eye roll.

"I'm hurt that you think I haven't" he said with a grin, pushing himself to his feet.

"Remembered my body cream? My conditioning hair mask? Where's my body pillow?" she said still trying to tug the zip down,"Why won't this thing open?" she muttered getting frustrated.

"My suitcase" Bash said running over and sitting on it, "You can't see inside, it's a surprise".

Buffy leaned forward and tickled him, "Ok monster, I won't look" she told him, sitting back on her heels and watching him run back to Xander.

"As for your things," Giles said pulling her to her feet, "They are all packed. Your body pillow is in the car along with the cushion you use to sleep and your blanket" he pulled her closer and rested his chin on her head when she lay it on his chest with a contented sigh.

"When do we leave?" she asked, nuzzling her cheek against his sternum.

"In about an hour, hopefully we'll get a head start on the rush hour traffic" he said sliding his hand down to the small of her back as he started to sway, "Finally found what I've been looking for" he sang softly, delighting in the happy giggle she gave when he started dancing with her.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"So they're going on a little trip are they" the woman purred happily, "what an absolutely, wonderfully considerate thing for Ripper to do"

"That's Rip, he's always been considerate like that" Ethan mumbled sarcastically, his swollen lip making it harder for him to talk.

"I'm not sure I like your tone" she said spinning around and gliding over to him, tilting her head and admiring the way he hung from the chains. She laughed when he jolted back and forth after one of her Shargals hit him across the face.

Ethan spat out the blood that was pooling in his mouth thanks to what felt like a split in his cheek and glared at her, "What more could you possibly do to me?" he asked trying to sound disdainful but it came across as more of a whine thanks to pain in his jaw.

"Oh I don't know" she said thoughtfully, poking a finger into the puncture wound on his bicep, laughing at the grunt of pain he gave, the chains squeaking in protest when he tried to get away from her touch, "I could invite one of my Vampires to play with you some more" she said beaming at the way his face drained of colour, "That's what I thought now shut up and let me think"

She spun away from him again and Ethan breathed a sigh of relief. He couldn't understand what had happened to her, what had changed the sweet little girl he had known into the psychotic bitch that was revelling in the dark arts and enjoying the torture just a little too much.

Between them, he and Rip had made sure she had been homed with a good family and arranged a savings account for her so she could go to college, learn to drive, whatever she wanted to do she had enough money to do it. And then the shit hit the fan and Randall had died, Rip had gone back into the Watchers Council and he had embraced the euphoria of chaos.

"He used to take me for ice cream sometimes" she muttered still watching the image of Buffy and Giles dancing in their living room, "Or he'd take me to the fair with his niece and nephew and win us all a teddy bear"

"I didn't know he still did that" Ethan muttered, surprised that he would after he was let off the hook.

"Why? Because you told him he wasn't my father you thought he would just stop caring?" she asked him, turning to face him with her lips curled up in disgust, "Whereas you, my actual father, preferred to just watch from the shadows"

"I wanted you to have a life away from magic" he whispered, hanging his head in shame, "safely away from me and the damage I caused"

"And it worked," she said turning back to the images, "until he left to be with her" she snarled, "No more weekly dinners, no more checking up on me to make sure I was ok".

"That's why you hate Buffy? Because she was chosen?! You were twenty three years old when that happened, a grown woman, and still you blamed a sixteen year old with no control over her fate?" Ethan asked in disbelief, his chains rattling as he strained against them, "She didn't do it on purpose you fucking psycho"

"That's not very nice Daddy" she pouted, grinning evilly at him before snapping her fingers. Laughing when he flinched as a Shargal Beast came forward, she watched as it lifted him off of the hooks he was dangling from then dropped him on the floor at her feet, "Wanna play a game with me Daddy?"

"Not particularly no" he said seriously as he pushed himself to his knees.

She huffed out a chuckle, "We're going to play the question game again" she said brightly, clasping her hands in front of her as she gave a little bounce, "Remember it?"

Ethan paled at her words, the memory of the last time she played that 'game' all too fresh. He still had a twinge in his knee from where she had kicked it when he had refused to answer.

"Ah I see that you do, good maybe it will be easier this time round then" she said her eyes flickering over his shoulder a second before he was lifted to his feet by the same Shargal Beast who had been manhandling him all afternoon, "Although I really hope you refuse to play along"

Ethan gulped, hissing in pain when the Shargal squeezed his arms tighter. He watched her walk towards him, the image floating in the air behind her of Buffy laughing as Rip spun her away from him then pulled her back so he could kiss her gave him a reason to fight her, no matter how much it hurt.

"Do your worst luv" he said, an insane grin splitting his face as he winked at her. As long as she was busy with him then she was leaving Buffy and Rip alone.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Bash was diving all over the back seat trying to see everywhere at once and calling attention to things he thought were cool as they drove through the countryside towards the cottage.

"Mum can I climb that tree?" he asked eagerly, tapping the glass in the direction of a particularly old and very gnarled oak tree.

"I suppose so, as long as you don't try it by yourself and provided you are allowed to climb it" she said looking at it before turning back to face the front. "So what's the surprise then?" she asked Giles again, still trying to catch him off guard enough that he'd answer without thinking, or he'd think about it before answering.

"Nice try love," he said around a chuckle as he pulled into the parking space that was theirs for the next few days, "but you've been thinking about asking me that for the last ten minutes"

She scowled at him trying unsuccessfully to hide a smile before taking off her seat belt and pushing open her door. Bash had already jumped from the car as soon it had stopped and was doing cartwheels in the front garden by the time they had started to unload the car.

"Come on Bash, take your bag so we can get something to eat" Giles said pulling the handle up on Bash's small suitcase and pushing it towards him.

Bash took his case and ran after Buffy who was unlocking the front door, his suitcase skipping over the ground as he dragged it along behind him. Giles stood there staring at them, lost in the vision of his family laughing and completely at ease, no sign of the stress that had been weighing so heavily on Buffys shoulders as she set her cushion on top of Bash's head, clapping when he managed to spin whilst keeping it on his head.

He saw her smile falter slightly and a shadow pass over her face as she watched him run into the house, whooping loudly.

 _What is it my love?_ He asked tucking her body pillow under his arm then reaching up and pulling the boot door down.

 _That feeling's back_ she replied turning to face him, her eyebrows drawn together managing to convey a mixture of confusion and worry.

He mirrored her worried frown and started up the path towards her, _Do you believe it is Ethan reaching out to you?_

She shook her head, resting her forehead on his chest when he stopped in front of her, _He can't. We tried once when I was going out on patrol and it didn't work. I don't know what this is but it feels like fear, I feel afraid._

 _Has Willow been performing the cleansing spell once a week as usual?_ He asked guiding her into the house and shutting the front door.

 _Yeah like clockwork_ she replied looking up at the ceiling with a grin when she heard Bash's excited shout that meant he had chosen his room. "Why? Do you think someone is trying to cast a spell on me?" she asked aloud, taking her pillow from him and putting it on top of her suitcase at the bottom of the stairs.

"No, thanks to the bond that isn't possible" he said brushing her cheek with his fingers in the lightest of touches, "I'm more worried about the possibility that your feeling is a warning, a bleeding of Bash's talent through the bond, because I can't feel your fear".

She looked up at him in surprise and found him looking down at her, his soft smile slipping from his face when their eyes met. And just like that his barriers dropped sending a wave of emotion over her and she felt everything he had been protecting her from. All of his worry, all of his fear, his constant need to do the impossible and keep her safe from harm.

"I'm not going anywhere" she said reaching up and gripping the back of his neck, pulling him down to press her forehead against his, "I'm not going to die. Bash isn't going to die. You aren't going to die. And Lucas is definitely not going to die" she told him, following the most obvious trail of his thoughts and punctuating each sentence with a soft kiss to a different part of his face.

He turned his head and caught her lips, his fingers tangling in the hair at the back of her head, pulling her closer at the same time he pressed her against the wall, pouring out his love, his fear, his desire to keep her safe, into a kiss that was as much passionate as it was brutal in its urgency.

She whimpered against the onslaught, giving him access to every corner of her mind as she opened herself up to him in the hope she could assuage his fears, ignoring the tears that were spilling over her lashes and onto her cheeks, his pain permeating every part of her.

When she started to trail her hands down his chest towards the waistband of his jeans, Giles gripped her head between his hands and pulled away from her, smiling as she tried to press forward for more.

"Later my love," he whispered, his thumbs brushing the tears from her cheeks, "First, we should eat and then there is the small matter of your surprise"

She blinked away the haze of passion that had descended over her and swallowed heavily, "Weirdly enough I'm not hungry anymore" she said grinning when he flushed.

"Sebastian" he called up the stairs, closing his eyes when Buffy placed a gentle kiss on his cheek as she passed him, yelping in surprise when she smacked him on the backside.

"Coming" he called back and Giles heard his feet padding across the floor a few seconds before he appeared smiling at the top of the stairs, "you and Mum finished being gross?" he asked and Buffys tinkling laughter echoed from the kitchen as he flushed in embarrassment.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Buffy lay in front of the fire wrapped in Giles' arms, the sound of his deep breathing behind her accompanying the popping of the logs in the hearth in front of her was creating a cocoon of comfort and safety around her. She stared at her hand and the diamond that now adorned her finger, watching it sparkle in the firelight as she gently trailed her fingers up and down the arm that was wrapped around her.

She felt the tears gathering again when the moment he had given it to her replayed itself, her eyes closing as she saw it play out in her minds eye. The way he had snatched her attention with sweet words and a tender kiss allowing Bash to sneak up on her so he could hand her the little box that had been hidden in his suitcase. The look on his face when he had lifted Bash up onto his lap and pulled the ring from the box would forever be one of her favourite memories; happy, hopeful, a little fearful nervousness as if he still wasn't sure of her response but above all she could see the love he felt for her.

Giles tightened his arm around her and she shifted slightly to accommodate him when he burrowed his face into the side of her neck. She shivered when the warmth of his breath brushed over her skin, lifting her hand to swipe at the tears that had fallen during her little daydream.

She'd lied to him when she said that everything would be fine and the lie had settled in the pit of her stomach like a lead weight, leaking guilt into her bloodstream like poison. She shifted in his arms and turned to face him, nuzzling her face against his chest, tightening her hold on him as she fought to control her emotions and the sobs that wanted to tear out of her.

She had seen it in a dream, one she was sure had come from Bash, one that Giles hadn't seen which meant that it had been directed to her and her alone. At first she dismissed it as just a bad dream, the fears a five year old had of losing a parent and nothing more, but then something that she had seen happened in reality. The exact words he had said along with the book he had knocked off his desk as he stood, every little detail played out exactly as she had dreamed it and she started to believe it was a vision.

What she had seen had torn her heart in two. Giles unconscious, being dragged away by Shargal Beasts, bleeding because he had dived in front of her, protecting her the way he always did. That's why she was able to allay his own fears of losing her.

She already knew she was going to lose him.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

 **Rating: T**

 **A/N:** Sorry it's taken me so long to update but life got in the way, you know how it goes. 

Chapter 16

 _Buffy looked around at the fog that surrounded her in confusion. She had just been sitting in the Pump in Sunnydale, a big mug of mocha with extra whip and sprinkles on the table in front of her and Giles up on stage singing to her. In the nude._

" _Hello" she called out as she moved slowly forward, one hand held up in front of her just in case she bumped into something._

" _Hello kitten" she heard Ethan mutter sadly behind her._

 _She whirled around to face him but he wasn't there, "Ethan? Where are you?"_

" _Here, there, everywhere, always watching, never seeing"_

" _We're looking for you Ethan, we have everybody looking and we will find you" she said turning in a circle then rushing forward only to stop and move in a different direction._

" _Won't find me, it's the wrong time, out of time, no time at all"_

 _She frowned at his words, fear settling in her gut like a stone as she rushed forward again. She gasped and skidded to a stop when the fog suddenly cleared._ _S_ _he saw Giles kneeling on the floor facing Ethan who was in a similar position, both of them staring at the other and muttering strange words under their breath. Between them was a table with a sleeping baby lying on top of it that neither of them_ _paid any attention too_ _._

 _She tried to move towards them but couldn't, she tried to scream but when she opened her mouth all she could do was wheeze. She could hear their words clearer now as the baby started to cry after waking suddenly._

" _Was verloren ist kann gefunden werden._

 _Außerhalb der Zeit, überall und nirgendwo._

 _Die Kraft liegt im Blut"_

 _All I hear is German, she thought as they repeated the same words, over and over, getting louder and louder until they were shouting, drowning out the cries of the baby. She covered her ears and stared as they stood and turned towards her, pointing at her as wounds appeared on their faces, blood spreading over their torsos from wounds she couldn't see._

 _Her eyes darted from them to the baby and back again, wanting to run but still feeling as if she was stuck and no matter how much she jerked her legs she stayed routed to the spot. To try and get away from the horror in front of her she crouched down and bent her head to her knees, trying to make herself smaller. Their voices were louder now, inhumanly so, and she started shaking her head in an attempt to lessen the pain she was starting to feel._

 _Suddenly Giles lunged forward and grabbed her arms, yanking her to her feet and shaking her, the blood dripping from his face on to her skin as she tried to push him away._

" _Buffy! Wake Up!" he shouted at her._

She opened her eyes with a startled scream and lurched away from the hands holding her.

"Buffy?" Giles asked, his worried face coming into focus as the last vestiges of the dream disappeared.

"Just a dream" she whispered with relief, pulling herself into his arms with a sob, "It was just a dream"

"Tell me what happened" he ordered gently as he twitched the quilt back over her trembling body.

She told him everything she saw and heard, replaying the scene of the shouting, bloody, versions of him and Ethan so he could hear it for himself, not wanting to say that part out loud and needing to keep it more dream than reality for now. They both rubbed at her stomach when Lucas started to stir, the distress in his mothers voice causing him to roll and stretch making her hiss when he delivered a particularly strong kick to her spleen.

"What were you saying?" she asked as she flinched and rolled over, pulling his arm around her and using him as a shield against the ghost of the images in her head.

"What is lost can be found. Out of time, everywhere and nowhere. The power is in blood" he muttered rubbing his thumb back and forth over her shoulder, his other hand making soothing circles over her stomach, "will you tell me why you were crying last night now?" he whispered in her ear.

She gripped his arm a little tighter, wincing at the memory of his hurt when she refused to tell him what was bothering her the night before then sighed and relaxed her body, "That dream I had that you didn't see, that feeling I keep getting that you don't feel, well you were right, it was a premonition or whatever they are" she admitted, her eyes closed as she replayed the dream in her head, taking his hand when she got to the part where he was dragged away from her bleeding heavily.

"Ah, I see" he said blankly, his thoughts not hidden nearly as well as he thought they were. "At least now it is clear why you kept it from me".

The slight touch of sarcasm twisting his words along with the flavour of his thoughts had her closing her eyes on the fresh tears that threatened to spill on to her pillow.

"You were already so worried," she whispered, lifting his arm off of her and sat up at the same time she swung her legs over the edge of the bed, "You worry too much, mostly about things you can't control and it makes me worry you're gonna give yourself a heart attack"

"Buffy..."

"No Giles, I get it," she said, slipping her arms into her dressing gown, "but it pisses me off that you're allowed to do any fool thing you wanna do when it comes to protecting us but I'm not allowed to keep one little secret because it's my turn to try and protect you. I'm still a Slayer and it is still in the job description to protect the world from every kind of creepy that tries to do bad to it and everyone in it and that means everyone I love gets extra special Buffy protection" she babbled almost to herself, tying the sash above her stomach with a little more force than necessary.

"Where are you going?" he asked, his eyes closed against the sight of her standing there with tears on her face as she moved away from him, physically and emotionally.

"Downstairs" she snapped before angrily striding across the room and pulling the door open, walking through it without looking back at him.

He dropped back with a sigh and shoved his hand through his hair, staring up at the ceiling and fighting the impulse to go after her. He followed her thought process as she made herself a cup of tea, gently adding his own ideas when she hit upon a plausible possibility behind the meaning of the dream. He distracted himself when she called Willow, not entirely surprised that she was awake at this hour, and told her about the dream.

 _You gonna hide in bed all day or come down and join me?_ She asked him acidly maybe ten minutes later.

He sighed and threw back the cover, pulling his t-shirt and sweat pants on before answering her, _Is it safe to join you or am I just going to be blessed by more of your sharp comments?_

 _Coward_ she thought back and he grinned at her teasing tone.

She only ever called him that when she was feeling less annoyed with him so, still grinning, he walked down the stairs and joined her on the patio.

"I'm sorry love" he said lifting her feet from the bench before sitting in their place and pulling them back down onto his lap, giving them a gentle rub when she flexed her toes.

"I don't understand why it's ok for you to go all protective guy on me and Bash but I can't do the same" she muttered, reaching her hand across the back of the bench and twisting her fingers with his, "I'm the Slayer, a Slayer, whatever," she said with a frown and a little shake of her head, "Slayer is still who I am and protecting people is still what I do"

"Buffy, I uh, well quite frankly..." he started, stuttering like he used to do when he was embarrassed.

"Oh God, it's some kind of macho bullshit isn't it" she said giving him an amused but annoyed shake of her head.

"It's not macho," he told her softly, rubbing her legs when she huffed a chuckle and sipped at her tea with a roll of her eyes, "You have been my whole life since I was ten years old and my father told me what I was to become. Granted I didn't know you or that I would ever be given a Slayer but I have been trained for one purpose; to be a Watcher. I never knew that we would be blessed with the bond or that I would fall in love with you but I don't know how to turn off the worry I feel when I know there is something or someone out there wanting to cause you harm" he said with a small smile at her pleased grin, "Even so I regret nothing, not even a moment of it and I wouldn't change a single second lest I lose what I have now"

"So what's with the over protective worry crap going through your head right now?" she asked swinging her feet off his lap and standing up, "Lucas is up again" she said when he stared at her in puzzlement at her actions.

"Ah" he grinned in understanding and crossed his legs, watching as she paced and rubbed a hand over her stomach, "The 'over protective worry crap' as you so eloquently put it is quite simply a reflection of how much I love you" he looked up at her with a smile and shook his head at her soppy thought, "It is my desire to keep you safe that leads me to want to keep any negativity away from you and our boys"

"Stupid" she muttered with a pleased grin, "still think it's just your caveman instincts going crazy"

He chuckled and stood, standing in front of her with a relieved sigh, "Maybe you're right," he whispered cupping his hands around her face, "and I will try not to go so overboard if you promise to tell me about any more feelings or dreams that you get"

She nuzzled against his hand and closed her eyes with a grin, "I told you about the feeling this time" she said, her grin widening into a cheeky smile when he sighed in defeat.

"No more half truths then" he whispered before ducking his head and giving her a gentle kiss. She sighed happily as she turned and leaned back against him, biting back the laugh that bubbled up when he groaned in regret at the flicker of Bash's consciousness awakening.

"Want me to cook some breakfast?" she asked when he propped his chin on top of her head.

"I'll do it. Eggs and bacon?" he asked rubbing at the apex of her stomach with the tips of his fingers.

"Sure" she replied making no effort to return to the house. Instead she tightened her grip on his arms and hummed in contentment as they both watched the sun peek over the horizon.

"You two done with the couple-y stuff?" Willow's voice suddenly echoed around them making Giles squeak in surprise.

"Sure Will, what'd you figure out?" Buffy asked with a giggle, turning to watch Giles walk back into the house with a shake of his head.

"I'm more concerned with what you heard" Giles grumbled loudly causing both girls to give into a giggle fit.

"He's grouchy" Willow said happily.

"No he's not, stop stalling and spill" Buffy said with a grin as she waved at Bash when he bounded over to the door and flattened his face against the glass. She pulled the phone from her pocket, tapped the speaker button and lifted it to her ear.

"No need to translate thanks to Super Librarian but the references to blood mean a locator spell that uses a genetic connection to find the lost" Willow said and Buffy heard the sound of pages rustling as she flicked through a book.

"And seeing as how none of us have a genetic connection to Ethan..."

"Thank God!" Xander called out cutting her off.

"How exactly will we find him that way?" Buffy continued ignoring Xander, her brow furrowed in confusion.

 _The dream wasn't about finding Ethan love_ Giles whispered in her head.

She turned to face him and saw his sad smile, _Not going there_ she snapped and turned back to the garden.

 _Buffy…_

 _No! Not going there!_ she said again, this time more firmly.

She heard Giles sigh with a mixture of annoyance and frustration and blocked him out. "So Will, why are you guys up so early anyway?"

"We went out for a drink last night and ended up tracking a Shargal Beast sighting" she mumbled around a yawn, "So we will all be mainlining coffee and trying to stay awake all day because technically we haven't been to bed yet"

"Did you manage to find any?" Buffy asked, walking further away from the house in case Giles was listening.

"Any what?" Willow asked tiredly.

"Shargals? You said you were tracking a sighting" Buffy said, biting back the impatience she felt at Willows absent mindedness.

"Oh! Yeah we did, Becca is in he hospital, so is Lucy and Anita" Willow said sadly, "No one died though so, good news"

Buffy huffed a chuckle and shook her head, "We need to come home"

"No!" Willow said loudly, sounding very awake now, "Don't you dare! It's not like you can do anything and the girls will be fine in a few days anyway"

"But Will..."

"No Buff, we're good, it's good, hey..."

"Buffy if you come home then I'll ground you" Dawn said sternly over Willows indignant grumbling.

Buffy giggled at the tone she was using and at the grumbling sounds Willow was making in the background, "Oh yeah? And how will you manage that?" she asked.

"I'll tell Bash you need to be kept safe" she replied smugly and Buffy could picture her standing there with a hand on her hip and a stern expression on her face.

Buffy scowled at the phone, "Whatever, fine we'll stay, Bash wants to climb this ginormous oak tree on the grounds anyway"

"Good" Dawn said smugly then hung up on her without a goodbye.

"Bitch" she muttered with an affectionate smirk then tucked the phone back into her pocket and turned back to the house, her smirk growing at the sound of Bash singing along to the radio and the sight of Giles twitching his hips in front of the cooker, dancing along to the music he vehemently insisted he hated.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Did she buy it?" Xander asked, lifting the ice pack from his head to stare at Dawn and Willow.

"Yeah" Dawn said, lowering herself to the sofa with a wince.

"She is gonna kill us when she gets home though" Willow muttered, limping over to the remains of the mantle and bending down to pick up the photo frames, the tinkle of glass echoing in the silence as it fell from the frames.

"I don't care, she doesn't need to see this or go through the stress until we can calm her down with some good news" Dawn said, Xander nodding his head in agreement.

"We'll get it tidied up before she's due back then break it to her gently that they attacked the house looking for them" Xander said, tossing the now spent ice pack onto the remains of the coffee table.

"Kayla rang just before all of this and told me that their latest attempt at a locator spell using the hair in Ethan's apartment failed spectacularly" Willow said softly, looking down at the picture of a happy, smiling Giles and Bash hugging an extremely content Buffy, "Wanna draw straws to see who tells her that Giles might be taken soon?"

"Nope, you can tell Giles and _he_ can tell her" Dawn said sadly, "She'll only listen to him anyway"

"Yeah, maybe" Willow muttered as she stood the picture in her hand up on the breakfast bar.

"Are we really believing a vision from rat girl?" Xander asked, his expression clearly showing his distrust.

"Don't call Amy rat girl" Willow said distractedly, "But no, we're not. That doesn't mean we should ignore it either just in case"

"Just in case she isn't still petty revenge girl and acting as judge, jury and executioner for crimes against the world" Dawn said sarcastically.

"Exactly" Willow said seriously then grinned at them, "because if she isn't on the up and up then I get to deliver her to the coven and they will strip her of _her_ magic and punish her for _her_ crimes against the world"

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Where is she!" Annabelle screamed, sending sparks from her hands into the air.

Ethan chuckled weakly, "What's the matter my dear? Having trouble with your magic?"

"Shut up!" she shouted swiping her hand through the air, turning her back on him when he grunted in pain, "I know where they were supposed to be going, I heard him tell her where he was taking her, but I can't find them! Why can't I find them?"

Ethan kept his mouth shut, his nostrils flaring when he started breathing heavily through the pain. He narrowed his eyes at her when she screamed in frustration at his stubborn silence and stormed from the room he was being kept in, relaxing ever so slightly against the wall next to his bed when he was alone.

He knew that his sending had worked and finally allowed himself to hope that his ordeal was close to it's end. Being considered as inconsequential had been unexpectedly profitable, hearing her plans to attack and abduct Ripper had spurned him into action and had inspired his attempt at contact.

He curled onto his side when he felt the need for another coughing fit, groaning as he pushed himself back into a sitting position. He stiffened when he heard voices outside his door, relaxing when they moved away, his ears straining to hear what was being said. He gave up when the voices faded completely and leant back against the wall, closing his eyes and bringing up a few of his more delightful memories to pass the time.

What felt like a few minutes later, but could well have been a few hours, he was startled out of his daydreaming by his cell door crashing open. He bit off the terrified yelp and glared up at the Shargal Beast that was now filling the doorway.

"What does she want now?" he asked knowing he wouldn't get an answer.

The Shargal Beast just grunted and unclipped his chains, snapping them tight and forcing Ethan to either stand and stumble along after it or be dragged down the corridor like last time. He chose to stand, paying more attention to the details of his prison than he had the last time he was dragged out of his cell and trying not to think about what was waiting for him at the end of his forced march.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Sebastian!" Buffy shouted up at him as he started swinging on a very high branch, "Stop it!" Bash's joyful giggle drifted down to her and she sighed in defeat, _I'm coming up to you now, don't go any higher without me_

"Excuse me miss?" a soft feminine voice sounded behind her.

She turned slightly, still keeping Bash in her eyeline, and saw a groundskeeper standing a short distance from her with a disapproving frown on her face. "Sorry, is he not supposed to be climbing the tree?" she asked innocently while rubbing her stomach.

"No he is not but I was just wondering how he got that high, has he no fear?" the woman asked her, her disapproving tone lightened slightly by what Buffy thought was awe.

"Not really no" she said with a sigh, "Sebastian! Get down!" she shouted giving her full attention back to the tree and her wayward son.

"But the tree wants me to go higher" he shouted down happily before pulling himself up to another branch.

"The tree wants him to go higher?" the groundskeeper asked sounding, and looking, completely baffled.

"Ignore him" Buffy said with a roll of her eyes, _Bash, human down here who has no idea about the supernatural_ she said to him silently.

 _Sorry Mum, bet her face was funny_ he said back, the happiness he was feeling leaking through their connection.

She was almost successful in biting back the laugh his words created but a little snort escaped anyway causing the grounds keeper to look at her, "Sorry, remembering what he said the last time he wanted to do something"

"Ah, very much a typical boy I take it" the groundskeeper said with an understanding smile.

"Definitely" Buffy agreed turning at the sound of footsteps approaching, "Hey honey" she greeted Giles, offering him her cheek when he stepped up beside her.

"Hello love," he said giving her a kiss and handing her the keys to the house, "Where's Bash?"

"Where'd you think" Buffy said, pointing up at the tree as she tucked the keys into her back pocket.

"Sebastian, come down please" he calmly called up and Buffy frowned at the tone of his voice, "I'm so sorry about this but he won't be doing it again" he said to the groundskeeper with an easy grin.

"Will he need help getting down?" she asked, shielding her eyes as she craned her neck to stare at Bash as he started to make his way down, "You know what, forget I asked" she said waving as she walked away.

"Spill" Buffy demanded as soon as the groundskeeper had moved out of ear shot.

"Cars packed ready for the morning, only things left to add are the essentials we need tonight," Giles said pulling her into his side and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"What's wrong Giles?" she asked slipping out of his grip and standing in front of him, making him look at her.

Bash looked down at his parents as he straddled a large branch, frowning as he listened, through Lucas, to Dad talking about the phone call from Willow telling him about the demons attacking their house. Mum was taking it well and he giggled when Dad sighed in relief.

He took a moment to reassure Lucas that it would be alright then finished climbing back down the tree, laughing happily when the nymph that lived in it started to sing her goodbyes, thanking him for being the first person to climb her home in years. He paused and patted the bark of the trunk in sympathy when she mournfully told him how she missed the laughter and joy of the children as they swung from her branches.

"Hey, Mum?" he shouted happily when he neared the bottom, "Can I jump down now?"

She looked up at him with a frown on her face, gauging the distance with an experienced eye then nodded, "Sure, just be careful" she said before turning back to Giles, frown firmly in place, "So why shouldn't we just leave now? Our house was attacked because they couldn't find us, by the way you will have to tell me how you pulled that off..."

"I didn't cast any spells love, I promised you I wouldn't without telling you because of what happened last time" he said earnestly, taking a step closer and gripping her shoulder, ducking his head slightly to look her in the eye.

Bash giggled as he remembered the scream Mum had let loose when she accidentally broke a ward Dad had set up to protect the house. This particular ward let out a shrill cry that, as Mum said, sounded like the battle cry of a thousand demons. He'd thought it was funny when she made Dad sleep in his old room that night and laughed about it for days.

He jumped gleefully from the tree and landed noiselessly on the grass, dropping into a roll like he saw Mum's students do then ran at his parents.

"Did you see that?!" he called excitedly, jumping around them as they swivelled their heads to watch him.

"I did yes, nice roll" Buffy said taking his hand and turning towards the house, "We're going out for dinner tonight munchkin so you need to have a quick wash when we get back to the house"

"Do I have to have a bath?" he asked looking up at them with a frown.

"No, quick wash in the shower should be fine" Giles said taking his weight when he swung between them.

"Cool," Bash said with a grin, "Race ya!" he shouted just before he ran off in front of them.

"Wonder what's going to happen when we get home" she muttered to Giles as they watched Bash do a cartwheel and then a handstand.

"I'm not sure I want to guess knowing our track record" Giles muttered back, lifting his arm when she leant into his side, "about the house..."

"I don't care about the house or the damage Giles," she said in a soft whisper cutting him off, "it can be fixed"

"Good to know but that wasn't what I wanted to say" he said smirking down at her when she looked up at him.

"Oh, what were you going to say then?" she asked grinning up at him, lifting her hand and absently running it over her belly.

"Just that Willow is going to use magic to set it to rights and that we shouldn't worry about doing anything when we get home" he said grinning widely as he lifted his head and watched Bash trying to walk on his hands, "Be careful Bash!" he called out.

"Figured out what dream Ethan was rambling on about when he said 'it's the wrong time, out of time, no time at all' or his here, there and everywhere bit?" she asked him as they both stopped and watched Bash running around.

"Yes actually," he said on a sigh, "unfortunately it doesn't help us as where he is being held is extremely difficult to get to"

"Where is he then?" Buffy asked pulling away and staring at him expectantly.

"He's being held between time and reality, in the shadow realm that exists just beyond sight" Giles explained, his hand resting on the gate to their front garden.

"You mean he could be right here with us and we wouldn't know it?" she asked looking around as if she expected Ethan to just pop into existence.

"No, it is more likely that whoever it is that is tormenting us has a lair..."

"All the creepy villains do" Buffy muttered with a shake of her head.

"That is hidden much the same way we seem to be" he finished as if she hadn't interrupted him.

"Then how will we find him?" she asked, flapping her hand near her ear to drive off whatever it was that was buzzing next to her head.

"By letting your vision play out" he said sadly.

"Not gonna happen" she gritted out, the buzzing now a vibration in her head. She groaned when pain blossomed through her brain.

"Buffy?!" Giles asked, his face paling when he felt her pain, "What is it? Is it Lucas?"

"No, no, it's my head, it really hurts" she gasped out then forced herself to take a deep breath which helped.

"Mum? What's wrong?" Bash asked when he saw how pale she was.

"Nothing sweetie, your brother is playing soccer with my bladder that's all" she said smiling down at him as Giles opened the front gate and ushered her through it.

"Want me to tell him to stop it? He listens to me now, sometimes" he said and both Giles and Buffy stood still in shock, Buffys pain forgotten for the moment.

"You talk to him?" Giles asked trying to convey interest and not the fear he was feeling at what he was telling his brother.

"Well, yeah," Bash said looking up at his parents, "he can tell when Mum is upset but doesn't know why so I tell him it'll be ok and he calms down"

Buffy sunk to her knees and wrapped her arms around her baby boy, "When did you grow up on me?" she asked with a soggy chuckle.

She felt his discomfort at being squashed by his Mum and gave him an extra squeeze because of it, biting back the groan when the action caused a fresh wave of pain to surge through her.

"Muuuumm!" he moaned, fussing and wriggling until she dropped her arms and sat back with a grin, ruffling his hair, "Stop that!" he glowered at her then looked up at his Dad, "You said you would stop her doing that when she got soppy"

Giles barked a laugh while Buffy spluttered in shock, "Excuse me?!" she asked pushing herself to her feet with a wince, "I do not get soppy"

Bash rolled his eyes and skipped the few feet to his father, "Yeah you do, don't she Dad" he said looking up at him and grinning at the eye roll he got for his words.

"A little yes and I said I would try to stop her but you know how futile that can be" Giles said taking his hand and walking forward, ignoring Buffy who was stood with her mouth wide open, staring at both of them in a daze.

"Yeah I know, like stopping the weather from doing what it wants" Bash said with a put upon sigh.

"That's it!" Buffy snapped and lunged forward making Bash squeal in surprise and dodge her hands.

"Come get me Mum!" he cried out with glee as he bounded away across the garden.

Buffy gave chase, laughing as Bash shrieked in delight while dodging her grasping hands. Giles watched them for a few seconds before lifting his hand and checking his watch.

"We have reservations in an hour love" he called out, his smile growing when Buffy used an old training technique to catch Bash and swing him around.

"Come on munchkin, let's get you cleaned up so we can eat" she said swinging him around so he could cling to her back.

"Buffy be careful" Giles said as she walked back through the front gate and handed him the keys to the house.

"Stop worrying" she said affectionately with a shake of her head, gripping Bash's legs and pushing him further up her back with a little bounce.

"Never" he whispered as he bent slightly and kissed her sweetly.

"Yuck" Bash muttered making a face and sliding down to the ground, "Don't do that" he said glaring at them with a grimace on his face before running into the house and up the stairs.

Chuckling they followed him inside hand in hand, the buzzing and pain Buffy had felt completely forgotten.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"That should have worked!" the sorceress screamed, watching a blurry, distorted image of Giles and Buffy getting ready to go out with growing frustration.

"You can't do that" Ethan bit out through the pain, his eyes fixed on Annabelle as he tried not to smile in triumph, "her bond with Ripper prevents any spell affecting them"

"It started to work," she turned around to face him and showed him the little poppet in her hands, "A very good friend taught me that sometimes dolls are very effective ways to bring down your enemy and this one has some of her hair woven into it"

Ethan gaped at her in disbelief and yanked his hands forward, pulling his chains tight, "She is not your enemy!" he shouted, "Leave her and Bash alone!"

"Tut tut dearie"

Ethan's head whipped round towards the sing song voice that echoed behind him and he shrank back against the post he was chained to in resignation.

"It's not nice to shout, it hurts my ears"

Drusilla stopped by his head and stroked a hand over his hair, "I think you should apologise to my dolly" she said softly, gripping his hair in her fist and pulling it tight, yanking his head back.

"Crazy bitch, go to Hell" he spat venomously, jerking his head away from her hand when she released his hair.

"That's not very nice" she pouted and walked over to Annabelle, "Are you sure I can't bite him dolly?"

"Yes, Dru, I'm sure, we need him alive for what comes next" Annabelle said, giving her a one armed hug, "When everybody is here then you can play with your toys"

Drusilla's smile grew and she stared at Ethan hungrily, "I can't wait" she said then glided away from them, leaving the way she came.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

 **Rating: T**

Chapter 17

"Bash!" Dawn cried happily, running down the stairs to scoop her nephew into her arms before the car had even stopped moving.

"What are we, invisible?" Buffy grumbled with a grin, watching them giggle at each other as Bash threw his arms around his aunt.

"Sorry, who are you people?" Dawn asked completely straight faced as she let Bash drop to the floor.

"Piss off" Buffy scowled at her as she shut her door and walked around to help Giles unload the car.

Bash and Dawn giggled as they each took something and ran up the stairs with it, nearly running into Xander and Willow who were making their way down to help.

"Why so grumpy Buff?" Willow asked taking a suitcase from Giles.

"She didn't get much sleep last night and Bash was too excited to allow her to get any sleep in the car" Giles said softly, tugging the handle of his suitcase up before shutting the boot.

"No it's not that" she muttered wiping her eyes, "I just can't seem to shake this feeling that something bad is gonna happen"

She looked around warily as if expecting something to jump out from behind the hedges that bordered their neighbours house. Shrugging off the unease that seemed to be growing she walked forward and took her suitcase, tugging it down so she could pull it along, smiling at Bash as he came bounding back down the stairs to take her pillow and cushion.

"Maybe it is just a lack of sleep, I don't know," she sighed and rubbed her face, "I'm so tired"

Willow took her suitcase from her and put an arm around her shoulders, "Then sleep, we'll be fine and we can catch up later"

"But what if something happens?" she asked around a yawn, "I need to be there just in case the Shargals attack again"

"We've fought them off before we can do it again" Xander said with a proud grin, "but if it makes you feel any better then we'll call a couple of Slayers to come and babysit while you abandon the love of your life to get some beauty sleep"

Giles sighed and straightened with a murderous look on his face at the same time Buffys face fell and her eyes filled with tears, "Thank you for your input Xander, as always your contribution is appreciated" he said caustically, trying to get Buffy to look at him while Willow gaped at Xander in disbelief, "Don't listen to him love, nothing is going to happen to me today"

She looked up at him and his heart broke at the pain in her eyes, "But what happened this morning happened in my dream, it's getting closer I know it is"

Xander decided that he had helped enough with this part of the conversation and took their suitcases into the house, silently berating himself for his usual foot in mouth problem.

"What's getting closer?" Willow asked, gulping past the lump that had formed in her throat at the lost little girl expression currently wiping away everything strong in her best friend.

Buffy sighed and leant against the car, crossing her arms over her chest, "Giles is going to be taken by whoever it is that's tormenting us" she admitted in a whisper, her eyes on Bash and Dawn who were sitting on the top step sharing a bag of gummy bears.

"How do you know about that?" Willow asked in surprise, her eyes widening even as a guilty blush spread across her cheeks.

"How do _you_ know about that?" Buffy asked her pushing away from the car and standing closer to Giles, her eyes following the black van that was driving slowly past them.

"Amy called out of the blue," Willow admitted as Xander came back, "told me about a vision she'd had about Giles being dragged away bleeding but we weren't sure if she was being helpful or spiteful so we decided not to tell you until we knew if it was a legitimate warning"

"Well it is." Buffy said, scowling at the thought of having Amy Maddison involved in their lives again "How did Amy get your number?"

"Oh she didn't contact me directly, she went through the coven" Willow said in a whisper so Bash couldn't hear her.

Buffy scowled at that then decided that it was a problem she would deal with after she'd gotten some sleep and brightened as she called to Dawn, "Wanna come clothes shopping with me and Will?"

Dawn looked down at her with an excited grin and nodded, "Definitely, I've wanted to update your wardrobe since you started to use an elastic band to keep your jeans shut"

"Bite me" Buffy grumbled as Xander and Willow giggled behind their hands and Giles turned his laugh into a cough, "I'll take your credit card for that mister" she said digging his wallet out of his pocket.

"But you've got your own money" he whined as he watched her pull his credit card out with dread and hand his wallet back to him.

"And I'll use that for dinner, make up and shoes" she said with a grin.

"But Aunty Dawn, you said you'd play Mario Kart with me" Bash said sadly as he watched her come back out of the house with her jacket and bag.

"We won't be that long monster and I can play it with you before bed ok" she said crouching down and dropping a kiss on his head.

"Ok," he said sullenly.

"Hey Bash, wanna push the furniture to the side upstairs and have a little game of soccer?" Xander asked him with a grin.

Bash's eyes lit up and he nodded, "It's football not soccer" he said as he stood, waving bye to Buffy.

"Soccer" Xander said, poking his tongue at him when Bash shook his head.

"Football" Bash replied with a frown, his lips twitching with a smile.

"Soccer"

"Football"

"Soccer!"

"Football!"

Giles sighed and bent to kiss Buffys cheek, "Have a good time dear and hurry back".

"Make sure you take all the breakables out of that room" she said trying very hard to suppress the laugh that had bubbled up when Bash and Xander started arguing.

"Will do" he told her before running up the steps after them, desperate to get to the cut crystal vase that had belonged to his mother before it was smashed by a ball.

"Kinda wanna stay and watch Giles have a nervous breakdown now" she said to the girls as they stood and waited for her to unlock the car.

All three of them cringed and rushed to get into the car when they heard a crash and Bash's voice yelling that he didn't do it, the laughter exploding out of them as soon as the doors were shut.

"I hope that wasn't his mothers vase" Buffy managed around the laughter.

"Oh it wasn't," Willow said cheerily as she buckled her seatbelt, "I put an unbreakable charm on it after the first time Xander got the ball out"

"Yeah turns out Harry Potter had a few spells that were really good ideas" Dawn said wiping the tears off her cheeks as Buffy pulled away from the curb.

"Does Giles know you've done that?" Buffy asked signalling to turn at the end of the road.

"And miss the reactions he gives whenever they decide to play?" Willow said with an evil grin. After a few seconds her eyes widened and she glared at Buffy, "He knows now though doesn't he"

Buffy grinned unapologetically at her, "Yep"

"You know sometimes I hate that bond" Willow grumbled, slouching in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest with a pout, doing her best to ignore the still giggling Dawn in the backseat.

Buffys smile slipped from her face, "So do we" she said in a whisper and Willows face softened in understanding, Dawns laughter stopping mid giggle.

"Do you feel everything through that bond?" Dawn asked a little while later, unable to stand the uncomfortable tension any longer.

"Yeah," Buffy said softly after a few minutes of contemplative silence. She glanced at Will as she turned the wheel to the right and slid into the traffic, "Right now he's torn between amusement and frustration as he's watching Bash trying to tackle Xander"

"Isn't that weird though?" Willow asked her, turning in her seat so she was able to see both Dawn and Buffy.

"Yeah, it is, but it's kinda cool too" Buffy said with a smile, "ever wonder why we don't argue?"

"You glare at each other though, is that your form of an argument?" Dawn asked, watching Buffys face flush a little in embarrassment.

"Not really, it's us responding to our feelings and wondering what we've done to annoy each other" she said then giggled suddenly and flicked her eyes up to Dawns in the rearview mirror. "He's wondering why it took you guys this long to ask these questions"

"So you can listen in on each others conversations too?" Willow asked, her interest in the subject rising.

"Yes and no," Buffy said checking the review before moving into the next lane, "we can press mute or pause, at least that's what I call it, when we need to, like when he's meeting with the board or we're having girls night but it gets uncomfortable, like we're trying to remember something we've forgotten. Giles told me he felt off balance like half of him was missing when I had him blocked off"

"I get that," Dawn said, "I mean you guys are so cute together and it seems like this bond is helping rather than hurting your relationship"

"Without a doubt, that's not why we hate it sometimes," she said pulling into the last parking space in the row. She switched the engine off and turned to face them, "we hate it because we can't keep secrets from each other"

"But that's a good thing, right?" Willow asked hesitantly.

"Definitely but try surprising someone for their birthday when you have to wall up a part of your mind, imagine how exhausting it is doing that twenty four seven" she said with a shake of her head and a roll of her eyes, "That can sometimes lead to an actual argument because of the stress we're under trying to keep it a secret"

"Wow" Dawn said unbuckling her seat belt and scooting forward so she could grip Buffys shoulder, "That must really suck"

Buffy huffed out a humourless chuckle and nodded, "Just a little bit yeah, but even though we can get rid of it completely we don't want to, I'm just glad that our connection with the boys isn't as strong and we can turn off their side of it"

"Yeah Bash hates when you do that" Dawn said popping her door open at the same time they did. Standing, she straightened her shirt and lifted her bag over her head, "but did you know he listens to you talk through Lucas?"

Buffys head snapped round and she stared at her in shock, "He what?!"

"Oh yeah, he likes having a brother now and he 'mind melds' with Lucas sometimes when he wants to know what you're saying, not for long though because Lucas doesn't really have words in his head just sounds and memories of you guys" Dawn told her with a grin, "most of the time he thinks what he hears is funny but he's passed on some juicy gossip by doing that"

"It's how we knew about that huge diamond on your finger" Willow said with a giggle.

"That little devil!" Buffy said walking away from them, "I had wondered why you hadn't gone all mushy over the ring"

 _Did you hear that Giles?_ she asked him as the girls dissolved into fits of giggles

 _Yes and I will be having a word with the little bugger_ he replied and she could feel his annoyance but also a little pride.

 _Yes I know, he's not shying away from his gifts and it's great that he's already getting along with his brother but he can't keep doing it and you know it_ she told him with a scowl.

 _Oh I completely agree and rest assured I will be looking into ways we can stop it from happening again but we may have to converse like this from now on, at least until Lucas is born._

 _Ok, I guess that's all we can do,_ she said with a resigned sigh, _I'm gonna put you on mute for a bit, ok love? But only the visual and sound, you will still feel me_ she reassured him when she felt his reluctance to allow it.

 _How long will you be?_ he asked her and she smiled at his attempt to suppress his protective instincts.

 _Not long, I promise, it's not like I can shop in many places now and you know how uncomfortable I get when I'm on my feet too long_

He laughed and she blew him a mental kiss before turning to the now silent Willow and Dawn, "What?" she asked, the blush rising on her cheeks when they gave her knowing looks.

"Finished yapping to Giles?" Willow asked as she linked arms with her and Dawn.

"Yeah and is he on mute?" Dawn asked, delighting in making Buffy squirm.

"Yes and yes," Buffy said with a shake of her head, "Let's just get this over with"

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Is Buffy alright?" Xander asked, pausing in mid stride when he saw Giles' concerned expression. Bash whooped in delight and took the ball from him taking advantage of his distraction.

"She's fine but I'm afraid Sebastian is in trouble" Giles said levelling a stern look at his son.

Bash looked up at him with wide eyed innocence, "What did I do?" he asked picking the ball up and staring at him warily.

Xander chuckled and took the ball from him, giving him a little nudge forward, "My guess little man, is that your eavesdropping has been rumbled"

Bash swallowed audibly and rushed to defend himself, "But I just wanted to know what was going on that's all, I don't listen all the time, only when you or Mum looks weird, you never tell me anything and I wanna know"

Giles let him talk and waited until he was finished before sighing and removing his glasses, "Be that as it may, we don't tell you for a reason, a very good reason..."

"Yeah I know coz I'm just a kid and don't need to know stuff" Bash muttered mulishly, looking at the floor as he shuffled his feet.

"Not at all," Giles said, smiling slightly when he whipped his head up to stare at him in surprise, "We don't tell you everything because we want to protect you from the darker side of our lives Bash"

Bash snorted and rolled his eyes causing Xander to clamp his mouth shut on a snort and turn away, "That's dumb, I already see it don't I, already know Uncle Ethan is hurting and scared coz bad lady is playing bad games with him"

Giles couldn't stop the widening of his eyes or the colour leaving his face at that and reached forward to pull Bash onto his lap, "Just because you see it doesn't mean you should have to deal with it the way your mother and I have to" he said in a gentle voice, brushing his hair back as he ducked his head to look him in the eye, "It is our job to protect you as much as we can from whatever we can. We can't stop you seeing it and we don't want to but we can take the weight from your shoulders and share it between us"

"But I have to help, you need me to help when you go that's why I'm listening so I know how I can help" Bash told him tearfully and Giles' heart lurched painfully in his chest at his sons admission.

His pain reached Buffy and she slammed back into his mind without warning, the image of her standing in a changing room half naked with Dawn standing behind her with a dress in her hands, her eyes wide in what he assumed was surprise accompanied her panic.

 _We're ok my love, Bash has just revealed he knows what is about to happen to me which is why he has been listening in on some of our conversations_ he told her while rubbing his hand up and down Bash's back trying to soothe him as he cried into his shoulder.

 _Oh baby_ Buffy whispered, the sound echoing as it did when she spoke to Bash.

"Mama" Bash whimpered and Giles felt Buffys heart lurch with the need to hold and comfort him.

"Mom will be back soon Bash, she just needs to find her dress for tomorrow night so she doesn't look like an over inflated balloon animal" Xander said with a wink when Bash looked at him with a giggle.

 _I'm gonna kill him_ Buffy said only half seriously and Giles sniggered along with Bash.

"Shall we tell him?" Bash whispered loudly making Giles grin as he wiped the tears from his cheeks.

"No I don't think so" Giles whispered back then looked over at Xander and laughed when he saw his face pale.

"I'm dead aren't I" Xander gulped out.

"Yep" Bash crowed happily, sliding to the floor and grabbing the ball, his tears forgotten along with the last few minutes of revelations.

Giles watched him run around Xander laughing, grateful he seemed to be able to cope with his burdens despite his age.

 _That's my boy_ Buffy thought as she finished trying on the dress Dawn was helping her with, _Should I come home?_

 _Definitely but only when you are finished_ he told her as he stood and made his way down the stairs to his study, _I like that dress by the way, you look radiant in blue._

 _It's a little tight around the belly though and it's not meant to be s_ he said sadly, twirling in front of the mirror while Dawn nodded behind her, _I'm going again, now I've settled on a colour the right dress isn't far behind_

Giles chuckled when his mind went silent and pulled down a few books from his shelves, for once embracing the silence that meant he could get his research done all the more efficiently.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Buffy kicked the car door shut and dragged herself up the stairs, awkwardly opening the front door because she didn't want to let go of the bags. She staggered inside and put them down behind the sofa before walking back to shut the front door.

"Hello Pet" a familiar voice said and she took a step back in surprise.

"Spike? I thought you were staying in America with Angel and Illyria" she said scowling at the vampire.

"Faith sent me, said you might need a hand," he said with a cocky smirk, "Any chance I could crash here for a bit?"

She shrugged off her jacket and hung it up before dropping the keys in the bowl under the mirror. She turned back to face Spike and sighed, "Come in Spike" she said and shook her head when he gave her a triumphant grin and stepped over the threshold.

"Thanks pet, where am I staying? And hows that rugrat of yours? Still running you in circles?" he asked as he shut the front door behind him.

"Downstairs, fine and yes" she said tiredly.

"Don't tell anyone I'm here till the morning ducks, wouldn't want to cause your old man a heart attack..."

"He knows you're alive Spike, he's the only one who knows though," she said showing him to the basement stairs, "don't look at me like that I had to tell him about Wes which meant I had to tell him about you and Angel"

"Fair enough pet, which room's mine?" he asked, shrugging off the irritation he felt that she hadn't kept his existence a secret.

"Take the one on the right, Xander always takes the one on the left and his car's still here which means he'll probably stay the night" she said rubbing her eyes and yawning.

"You might wanna get some sleep, you look like crap" he said before he made his way down the stairs.

"Tell me about it," she muttered, heading into the kitchen for a glass of water.

She stopped dead when she realised there was no noise. Even though it was late Bash usually stayed up so she could tuck him in. But there was no giggling or Xander crowing in triumph when he won a race. No Giles muttering about the music from Mario Kart. Nothing. Just silence.

She realised that she still had the mute switch on and let them back in. Still nothing. Panicking now she raced up the stairs in search of her son, one hand on her belly as she took the stairs two at a time. She rounded the corner and skidded to a stop in Bash's doorway her breath rushing out in a relieved sigh.

Bash was curled up under his quilt with his dog tucked tightly under his arm and his thumb in his mouth sleeping peacefully. Xander was asleep sitting up against the headboard, his head back and his mouth open with a comic book open on his lap, his hands still lightly clutching it.

Buffy huffed out a chuckle as her heart rate slowed slightly and stepped forward, taking the comic book from Xander and giving him a gentle shake. He came too with a snort and stared at her blankly for a few seconds before awareness of where he was registered.

"Sorry Buff," he whispered, gently sliding off the bed so as not to disturb Bash, watching as Buffy brushed a hand over his hair, pulled the cover up a little more and kissed his head. "You're back late" he said as they walked from the room and down the stairs.

"Yeah, we got a little carried away" she admitted sheepishly, glancing apologetically over her shoulder.

"Holy shit!" Xander said a little louder than he meant to when he saw the pile of bags sitting along the back of the sofa, "A little carried away!" he looked at Buffy in disbelief, "I'd hate to see you go overboard Buff"

Buffy laughed and gave him a shove, "Shut up Xand" rolling her eyes at his stunned expression as he got a good look at how many bags she actually had. "You staying here tonight?"

"If you don't mind" he said looking up at her with the Ann Summers bag in his hand.

"Put that down if you enjoy the use of your arms" she growled, rolling her eyes as he laughed at her blush.

"Is Giles in for a treat later then?" he asked her with a grin and a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Go to bed Xand, I have to go and find Giles" she said rolling her eyes and walking away from him towards the study.

"Night Buff, I'll make pancakes in the morning" he said as he made his way down to the basement flat.

"That'll be great, thanks Xand" she said turning to wave at him as she stopped outside the study.

She shook her head at Xanders ability to go from asleep to awake in less than thirty seconds and pushed open the study door. She stopped in surprise at the sight that greeted her then burst out laughing.

Giles had fallen asleep sitting on the floor. Or at least she assumed that's where he had started because he was now curled up on his side, his face pressed into a sheath of papers. At her burst of laughter he snorted and sat up, a piece of paper stuck to the side of his face.

He hastily brushed it off and blinked up at her in confusion, "What's the time?" he asked hoarsely, clearing his throat as he painfully got to his feet.

"A little after ten" Buffy said, amusement still colouring her voice.

"Bash!" Giles said looking at her with a guilty expression on his face, "Is he safe?"

"As houses, Xander put him to bed" Buffy said still smirking at him.

He sagged in relief and dropped into his chair, "I'm sorry love, I got caught up trying to find a solution to his eavesdropping habit and I must have dropped off"

"Hey it's all good," she said sitting on his lap, bringing his hand up and laying it flat on the side of her stomach, "Lucas is up"

Giles smiled happily and kissed her as he felt his son stretching, "I thought you said that you weren't going to be long?"

"We got a little carried away with the clothes shopping" she said lifting herself from his lap and walking around the desk to the door, "Come on, I need sleep"

He smirked at her and shook his head as he stood with a groan, rubbing at the hip that had been in contact with the floor. He followed her footsteps, opening his mouth in shock when he saw the amount of bags she had amassed then frowned at her when she picked up half of them and made her way up the stairs without a word, wondering what she was hiding that was making their connection flutter like an angry butterfly.

He went through his usual routine of making sure everything was off and locked then followed her upstairs with the rest of the bags. He entered their room ready to ask her what was wrong when she just blurted it out.

"Spike's here"

He scowled and sat next to her, "For how long?" he asked not bothering to hide the flare of insecurity that rose up inside of his mind.

"No idea, apparently Faith sent him, told him I might need a hand for a bit" she replied, ignoring his feelings for now. She had already had this conversation with him and didn't have the energy to repeat it right now.

"I didn't know you still spoke to Faith" he said getting up and removing his shirt.

She frowned up at him as she kicked off her shoes, "Of course I do, why wouldn't I?"

He shook his head with a sigh, "No reason I'm just surprised you've never mentioned it"

Her frown deepened as she stood and started to get undressed, "I write a report of the business side of our phone calls and give them to Jacobs every Friday afternoon ready for the board meeting"

He looked at her in surprise, "I have never seen them" he said standing there with his trousers in his hand.

Buffy shrugged and yawned, "Can we finish this conversation tomorrow? I need a shower before I pass out"

Giles' face softened and he nodded, "You get the shower started and I'll join you in a second" he told her dropping a kiss on her head as he took her clothes and bundled them with his in the wash basket.

"Oh yeah, I nearly forgot" she said as she grabbed the t-shirt she slept in. She dropped it on the bed and stepped over to the bags she had put in front of the wardrobe, "We found a little shop that does custom t-shirts and I got you this"

He took the t-shirt she handed him and opened it up, laughing at the image on the front, "I can't wear this in public love, what will people think of me"

She smiled at him, happy that he liked it, "You ever wear that in public and I will leave you" she said seriously, picking up her shirt and leaving the room.

He shook his head still chuckling at the 'Plunge and move on' quote emblazoned across the chest, "Why did you chose that quote?" he asked her as he walked into the bathroom.

"You've said it often enough it's like our little inside joke" she told him, opening the shower door and leaning in to turn it on.

"And you never have listened to it" he said with a grin, taking his glasses off and putting them on the sink as she slid her underwear off.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

"I think Xander found Spike" she said as Xanders voice echoed through the silent house.

"Should we..."

Before he could finish, the sound of footsteps running up the stairs cut him off and Buffy sighed, taking her dressing gown from the back of the door and pulling it on.

"Buff? Giles?" Xander called and she opened the bathroom door.

"What?" she asked not bothering to smother her annoyance causing him to step back in surprise.

"Why is Spike here? Why is Spike not dead?" he asked then looked over her shoulder into the bathroom and turned away, covering his eyes dramatically "Why is Giles in his boxers?"

"Ok one, I'm tired and want a shower which you are interrupting," she said holding a finger up, a second joining it, "two, he was brought back by the amulet that he wore when we fought The First and three," she held up a third finger, "Faith sent him to help so he's staying here"

Before Xander could start questioning them Giles stepped forward and put a hand on Buffys shoulder, "We will talk about it tomorrow, with Dawn and Willow, just go back downstairs and get some sleep Xander"

"But..."

"Please Xander? I'm wiped, I need sleep" Buffy begged him.

He blinked and looked back at her, seeing the dark circles under her eyes he nodded, "Fine, but I'm not sleeping downstairs with him, I'll bunk upstairs across from Bash" he said then turned and walked up the stairs.

Giles pulled Buffy back into the bathroom that was now filling with steam from the shower and slipped her dressing gown from her shoulders, "One more thing to do tomorrow" he said softly as she stepped into the stall.

"Two things," she said as he stepped in behind her, "I have to call Faith to ask what the hell she was thinking"

"Three things," he said with a grin at her groan, "I have to phone Jacobs and ask him why I haven't seen any of your reports"

"Four things," she said looking at him with a tired smile, "we still need to pick up Bash's surprise"

"I'd nearly forgotten" he said with a grin as he drew little circles on her stomach.

"Five things, we still need to unpack the suitcases" she murmured, enjoying the impromptu massage as his hands left her stomach and moved over her shoulders.

Giles grinned happily at her causing her to wrinkle her nose in confusion, "No we don't, I did that while they were playing football" he told her kissing her nose with a chuckle.

She brightened for a second then shook her head, "Still five things, the results of my shopping trip need to be sorted and put away"

"True but that won't take that long, at least we don't have to wash them first" he murmured, rubbing her arms and shoulders.

Buffy sagged against him with a yawn, giving in and closing her eyes for a second before pushing away from him and standing directly under the stream of hot water, humming in pleasure when he started to massage her body wash into her shoulders and back.

"What's in that Ann Summers bag?" he asked, whispering in her ear and grinning at her laugh.

"That's for me to know and you to find out" she replied, looking at him over her shoulder with a smirk.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Who is Spike?" Annabelle asked Ethan when she barged into his room, slamming the door against the wall with a bang, waking him up.

"Ask your pet psycho" Ethan mumbled, not bothering to turn and face her.

"Don't make me hurt you Daddy" she said sweetly.

Ethan sighed and rolled onto his back with a wince, "He is a vampire with a soul who helped defeat the First Evil in Sunnydale. Was brought back to life in L.A at the offices of Wolfram and Hart and later helped to defeat the senior partners. He is Buffys former enemy, ex lover and now friend and the Childe and old lover of your dear friend Drusilla and is often quite a bolshy, sarcastic prick" he said in a bored voice, watching her listen to him through swollen eyes.

"Why is he staying in their house?" she asked a few seconds later.

"Now how in the hell am I supposed to know that?" he asked, pushing himself up against the wall, "I've been chained up here for the last four fucking months" he rattled his chains for emphasis and sneered at her.

"I was talking to myself" she snarled then slapped him, "Drusilla will be pleased he is back then"

He stayed silent, watching her face as she chewed a nail, waiting for her to address him directly.

"I was actually talking to you" she said stepping forward and grinning at his flinch.

"I don't know if she will be pleased to be honest, they didn't part on good terms so I wouldn't tell her, unless you want her to go mad and ruin your plans" he said still in the same bored monotone, silently praying she would believe him and keep Spikes existence to herself.

"Hmm good point" she said distractedly. She fixed him with a glare and took a step closer, "Keep quiet Daddy, don't go thinking you can help them win by telling her"

"Wouldn't dream of it my dear" he said laying back down, "can I go back to sleep now?" he asked, trying to keep the triumph he was feeling from his voice.

"Of course, I don't need any more information right now" she said with false kindness and strode from the room, the door locking with a clang behind her.

 _That should help give them an advantage_ he thought, closing his eyes even as he smiled.

Sometimes it was good to be him.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

 **Rating: T**

Chapter 18

"So Spike never died when he and Angel fought off the senior partners?" Dawn asked, "Or is this another brought back from the dead deal?"

"And why didn't we know about any of this?" Willow asked, narrowing her eyes at Spike when he snorted and looked at the ceiling with a shake of his head before levelling a defiant stare at her.

Buffy looked at Spike and saw the shadow pass over his face, his eyes shuttering against the memory of what had happened, and she sighed. Gripping Giles' hand tighter she looked down at Bash,

"Honey, maybe you should go upstairs for a bit and play with your Lego" she said lifting her other hand and cupping his cheek when he looked at her, his mouth open ready to argue, "No arguing, you shouldn't hear this"

Xander had made good on his promise and had made pancakes, chocolate chip ones for Bash, and had even added bacon and eggs. After he had eaten he had disappeared, his car screeching away from the curb. He had returned an hour later with a grumpy and still tired Willow and Dawn, demanding an explanation to Spike as soon as he had ushered them through the front door.

Buffy had handed Dawn a coffee and Willow a tea as well as a plate of food each and had finished tidying up. Ignoring Xanders pacing and barbed comments towards Spike, who was enjoying the reaction to his presence, before sitting on the sofa with Bash perched on her lap and Giles beside her. She'd told them some of it but hadn't wanted to go into details with Bash sitting there.

"But Mum, I already know, why have I gotta go upstairs?" he whined, pinning her with his version of her pout.

"What did your Dad say yesterday about why we do this?" she asked him, composing her face into a serious expression and making every effort to not break out into giggles at Giles' silent resigned sigh at the pout.

"I dunno" he muttered stubbornly, looking down at his hands that were resting on her belly, poking at Lucas' foot when he pushed back against the pressure.

"He said that just because you see it..."

"I don't have to deal with it" Bash said softly with a sigh, "I can do it you know" looking up at her with a determined expression.

Buffy did smile then, proudly, "Oh I know but you're a little boy, I want you to _be_ a little boy for as long as possible and that means going to play while the grown ups talk about serious stuff"

"And no listening in" Giles told him sternly, taking his arm from around Buffy's shoulders and pulling him from her lap, "I want you to promise me that you won't"

"I promise" Bash said seriously as Giles let him slide to the floor, "but when you're done can I play Mario with Aunty Dawn, she did promise yesterday?"

"Oh you wanna get beat that bad?" Dawn said taunting him with a smirk.

"No I wanna beat you that bad" he said grinning at her when Xander laughed and high fived him.

He ran from the room and up the stairs giggling at her growl and Buffy shook her head at the display, waiting for the sound of his door shutting. Once she heard it she looked up at Giles and nodded when he silently asked her if she was sure.

"It was my idea to let everyone believe they had died" she said with a grim smile, "I thought it would be safer for them, we didn't know what the backlash would be, or if there even would be any"

"She showed up in the nick of time just as the last few were about to finish us off," Spike said, sniffing and shrugging his shoulders trying for nonchalant but just giving off Spike-ness, "Gunn was dead, Angel was down, I was only barely on my feet and Illyria was fighting two trolls and three hellhounds at once, we thought we were gonna die in that alley but then she showed up" he looked at Buffy and she saw the pain behind the facade.

"I managed to behead the demons pummelling him then ran over to Illyria and helped her finish off the trolls, the rest of the demons ran and they looked pretty much dead, uh, ya know apart from the dusty ending, so I let the rumour spread that they had their heads ripped off by a troll" Buffy said with a shrug, "luckily the Hyperion was still empty and Illyria and I dragged Angel and Spike there then went back for Gunn, they told me where Wes was so I...I went and got him too" she drew a shuddering breath and leaned into Giles when he tightened his hold on her.

"I found out about what had happened shortly after we went to Florida after she was injured," Giles said, stroking a hand up and down her arm and pressing his lips to her head, "and Faith knew because Buffy sent them to Cleveland to recuperate and to regain their strength"

"So why not tell us?" Xander asked, looking back at Dawn and Willow and seeing they shared some of his annoyance at being kept out of the loop.

"I asked her not to, Angel too, especially after the way you lot turned your backs on us when Fred was dying" Spike said, glaring at them.

"With what we knew about Wolfram and Hart we couldn't risk getting involved" Willow said angrily.

"And what was that goose chase your boy Andrew led us on when we went to Italy? Buffy was never there yet you had some blonde wannabe pretending to be her" Spike responded, sick of the walk down memory lane.

"Ah," Giles looked down at Buffys giggle and grinned at her, "we didn't want the fact that she had disappeared to be common knowledge so we had decoys, ones that looked enough like her from a distance, and it kept the demonic community oblivious. We weren't sure it would work until it had you two berks running in circles"

Spike snorted and slouched deeper in the chair, "Not like it mattered anymore since she had already decided to shag an old git like you"

Giles gritted his teeth and glared at him, "I've seen what you did too her, how you demoralised her, be grateful you can be helpful" he growled.

 _Don't love, it's what he wants_ Buffy told him, squeezing his thigh and looking up at him.

Giles just nodded at her and covered her hand with his. She immediately turned her hand over and linked their fingers.

"Any more questions?" he asked the others, ignoring the way Spike was staring at their joined hands and at how Buffy would occasionally run the fingers of her other hand up and down his forearm. The fact the action raised goosebumps on his skin was probably not lost on him.

"Just one; how is he gonna help?" Dawn asked pointing at Spike, her mind still reeling at the story Buffy had told them.

"We don't know" Buffy said, shifting her hips with a hiss when Lucas stretched, "We think Bash does but he won't tell us, something about..." she trailed off and concentrated on Willow, opening up the old mind link they had had in place years ago, _He says we're being watched_ she said and watched Willows eyes widen in surprise.

"I can stop that" she said then jumped up and rushed down the stairs to the basement flat.

"Where's she going? What can she help with? Something about what?" Dawn asked, looking between Buffy and Giles.

"You'll find out in a minute" Giles said, stroking a hand over Buffys stomach, attempting to calm Lucas.

"Ow, you're gonna have to talk to him" she said flinching at a punch to her bladder.

"I'll do it!" Bash shouted and he thundered down the stairs a few seconds later.

"What did I say about listening in?" Giles said sending a little hairy eyeball in the direction of his son when he ran around the back of the sofa.

"I wasn't, I promise!" Bash said jumping onto the sofa next to Buffy, "I just checked to see what you were talking about coz I'm bored"

"What are you lot talking about?" Spike asked, watching in fascination as Bash lay his head on Buffys stomach, giggling when his head moved with the force of the kick from his brother.

"Telepathy" Giles said with a smile, watching Bash start talking to Lucas about the house he was building with his Lego.

"What, you can all do it?" he asked in surprise.

"Yeah, me and Giles can do it coz of the bond and Bash and Lucas can for sorta the same reason" Buffy said smiling down at her son when he giggled at another movement, "Good job sweetie, he's slowing down"

"He likes me telling him stuff" Bash said, looking up at her with a proud grin, "I think I'll like having a baby brother when he gets here"

Buffy opened her mouth to respond then blinked at the sudden flash of light and looked at Giles to see him doing the same thing, "What the hell was that?"

"Willow must have succeeded with a cloaking spell," Giles said taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes, "a little warning would have been nice".

"Oh that won't work," Bash said sitting back, scrunching his eyes shut and shaking his head.

"Why not?" Xander asked pushing himself off the sofa and walking towards the kitchen, empty coffee mug in hand.

"Coz of the shadows" Bash said, sliding off the sofa and running over to his aunt, climbing up onto her lap for a hug.

"What shadows?" Giles asked, replacing his glasses.

"The ones she put in you and Uncle Ethan so she can see and listen, doesn't work when you're on your own, spell only works when you're with Mum" Bash said, looking at him with a confused expression, "but Willow's spell will make it so she can't hear you, so you can talk about her if you like"

"How the bloody hell do you know so much?" Spike asked, staring at Bash with a mixture of fascination and confusion.

"I dream it, don't know why, I think someone whispers it to my head" he said looking at his Dad, "Do you know why?"

"Haven't the foggiest" Giles said shaking his head with an impressed smirk, "but if she can't hear us then you can tell us how you managed to hide us when we were on holiday"

Bash's eyes widened in surprise, "You knew I did that?"

"Well it wasn't me and Willow was preoccupied with what happened here and it definitely wasn't your mother..."

"Hey! It could've been me, I know stuff" she said pouting at him.

"True, you have picked up some magic in your time alone, finally" he said grinning down at her, laughing when she lightly shoved his shoulder with hers with a roll of her eyes, "but you haven't got that much power"

"I didn't do it on purpose, I just wanted Mum to be happy and I didn't like that you were all grumpy and stuff" Bash murmured, looking down at the floor and fidgeting with the legs of his shorts.

"You're not in trouble Bash but I would like it if you had some extra lessons with the Coven to help you to control your magic" he said smiling at the excitement in his eyes when he looked up at him.

"Ok, yeah that'd be cool" he said eagerly then squealed and wriggled when Dawn started tickling him.

"Right, that should keep her from listening for now" Willow said when she rejoined them a few seconds later.

"We already figured that out Red" Spike said with a smirk.

"Oh," she said her face falling slightly. She looked at Bash who was grinning proudly and blew him a raspberry, "Way to steal my thunder squirt"

Bash laughed and slid off of Dawns lap onto the floor. He ran over to his mother when she held her hands out and pushed his way between his parents.

"How long will the spell last Will?" Buffy asked her, shifting slightly to accommodate Bash and shaking her head at his inability to stay still for longer than five minutes.

"Should be permanent" she said sitting down next to Dawn.

"So Bash can tell us what he knows about her then" Xander said coming back with an armful of drinks, handing them out to everyone, "And I thought that you couldn't be that far away from Giles when you were pregnant because of the sick feeling you got, so how did you manage to go to LA without the vomiting every ten minutes?"he asked.

"No" Buffy said taking a bottle of water, "We, as in me and Giles, will talk to him later. He's five, I don't want him interrogated and how'd you think I found out about it? Angel was the one who told me I was pregnant actually, heard munchkins heartbeat and told me, that was fun" she said with an eye roll at Giles' smug thought and chuckle.

"It's ok Mum, I can tell them why Spike's here" Bash said, twisting his head to look up at her.

"Ok you can tell them that..."

"And I know her name" he interrupted, sucking at the straw to his drink carton.

"And you can tell them that but that's it" she said shaking her head in disbelief at his unconcerned attitude.

"Ok," he said happily, "Spike's here coz Dru is and her name is Annabelle".

Buffy looked up sharply when she caught the expletive that shot through Giles' head and watched the colour drain from his face, frowning when his mind shut off from hers.

"Drusilla?! She's back? Fucking wonderful" Xander said sitting up in shock.

Buffy whipped her head round and pinned him with an angry glare, "Xander!" she hissed, "Language!"

"Oops, sorry Buff" he said trying not to smile at Bash's giggle as he jumped up onto his lap.

"What's Dru doing involved with all this?" Willow asked, shaking her head at Xander who was now playing thumb war with Bash.

"My guess is she wants to make you lot suffer for taking me away from her" Spike said with a smug grin, "last I knew she was off in some corner of the world talking to the stars and enjoying herself after Darla left her"

"Wonder if this Annabelle sought her out so she had insider bad guy knowledge" Dawn mused, sitting back and watching Buffy try and get Giles to look at her with a frown on her face.

"'Insider bad guy knowledge' do you actually hear yourself lil' bit?" Spike asked with a chuckle.

"Why are you still here?" she asked him angrily, "Shouldn't you be tucked away in the shadows downstairs, brooding?"

"I'll have you know I have never brooded in my life" he said with mock outrage, "I leave that for the great poofini"

"True, you prefer hiding in basements spewing crazy at the walls" Dawn said innocently.

Buffy tuned their squabbling out while she tried to get Giles to talk to her but he wouldn't meet her gaze, "Hey Giles, we still need to go and get that thing, should we go now or should I phone and reschedule?"

"Hmm?" he intoned looking down at her blankly for a few seconds before he shook his head and blinked, "No, we can go now, would you three mind watching Bash for an hour or so while we go out?" he asked Dawn, Willow and Xander.

"Sure"

"Not a problem"

"Can we play Mario?"

They all replied at once and he smiled at Buffy when he caught her relief that he was talking.

"What thing? Where are you going?" Bash asked his parents, looking at them with an almost feral curiosity.

"You'll have to wait and see, it's a surprise" Buffy said with a wide grin, sliding to the edge of the sofa before pushing herself to her feet.

"But I wanna know now" he whined, dropping to the floor and crossing his arms over his chest with a pout.

"Come on Bash, let's play Mario" Dawn said turning the TV on and grabbing one of the controls.

"Go on, you can play until we get back" Giles said bending at the waist and lifting Bash to his feet, "You can even have one of the doughnuts in the kitchen if you like"

Bash smiled and ran off towards the kitchen, squealing with excitement when he found his favourite chocolate cream, "Thanks Dad" he shouted.

Giles shook his head in disbelief at his sons mercurial moods and opened the front door for Buffy. He followed her down the stairs to the street, watching her walk around the car and trying to appear unconcerned by the revelation of who was tormenting them. The storm raging inside was proving a little more difficult to hide. They climbed into the car and set off in silence.

"Pull over" Buffy said a few minutes after they had left their street.

Giles sighed and did as she asked. He knew the silence was a sign that he was in for the third degree and had made bets with himself on how long it would take before she started questioning him. He had lost by two minutes.

"How do you know Annabelle and why did you act like you'd just been told you were dying?" she asked him once they had stopped, shifting on the seat until she was facing him.

"First, how do you know her?" he asked, turning the engine off and staring out at the street in front of them with his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly, dreading her answer.

"She was at my pregnant yoga class in England, she tried to get me to drink this foul smelling herbal tea and way overreacted when I turned it down" she told him with an unconcerned shrug.

"She's Ethans daughter" Giles muttered, releasing the steering wheel and staring at her with a frown, "did you eat or drink anything she gave you?"

Buffy shook her head, narrowing her eyes at his relieved sigh, "I didn't know Ethan had a kid"

"She was the result of our time spent with Randall, Thomas, Philip and Deirdre..."

"And Eyghon" Buffy muttered closing her eyes in understanding.

"Yes. Deirdre was her mother and for a time we didn't know who her father was, but based on...well it came down to either Ethan or myself. We made sure she was placed with a loving family, not connected whatsoever to the world we inhabited and organised a trust fund for her" he stopped and sighed in defeat, his face flushing with shame, "I kept track of her and made sure that I was involved in her life just in case I was her Father. I also took her out with my niece and nephew every once in a while but only because I wanted to keep a closer eye on her. She had already started to show signs of having magic but she had also started to show signs of instability. I needed to prevent a problem from developing so I, uh, I gave her a, uh, potion that blocked her gifts for long enough that I could find something else to, to help her or stop her..."

Buffy smiled at him and covered his hand with hers, "It's ok Giles, I get it".

"When Ethan told me that I wasn't her Father, that it was him, I felt relieved. But I was also terrified," he rubbed a hand over his face and sighed, "Ethan being who he was, Deirdre not being the most stable and the fact she was conceived during a demonic rite I worried that she was doomed to become something awful, something I would have to report to the council who would only deal with it one way..."

"The wet team" she muttered looking horrified.

She had found out that Giles and the rest of the board had had to use the wet team to remove the threat of a few unstable Slayers that had started to show a willingness to use their gifts for evil. He had told her that it wasn't a decision he had taken lightly and she had confessed to killing a couple of girls she'd come across who had become assassins for hire, revealing the warning that Whistler had left for her about the possibility of her having to do it. Both of them finding the absolution they needed in each other and inadvertently strengthening the bond even more in the process.

"Yes and they wouldn't have waited until she became that problem. So I kept up weekly visits under the pretence of caring how she was, it ate at me especially with how attached she seemed to get but I couldn't just walk away, not with the threat that I thought she could become" he said looking stricken, his eyes locked onto Buffys understanding gaze.

"And then you were called to Sunnydale for me" she whispered, dropping her head and looking at her hands, "That's why she's gunning for me, she blames me for you leaving her"

"Yes, I assume so. After I arrived I never really had the time to keep up the contact, you were more important. Keeping the Hellmouth from consuming us alive took priority and I may have been eager to put her and the burden of her possible decline behind me" he said reaching over and covering her hands with one of his. "I'm so sorry Buffy, if I had known..."

"Shut up Giles" she said without heat, "You are not responsible for what she has done or how she turned out"

"Maybe I should have told the council of my fears, let them take responsibility of her" he said shaking his head in regret.

"No." she said softly. "Giles you wouldn't have been able to live with yourself if they dealt with her as a child, she deserved the chance you gave her" Buffy told him firmly, lifting her hand to his cheek and rubbing her thumb under his eye, smiling when he nuzzled against it.

"Come on, let's go and get his puppy" she said, shifting so she was facing forward again.

Giles smiled, grateful that she was his.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Bummer for you love" Ethan said trying not to grin at the pained expression on her face.

"How did they know?!" she shrieked and threw her glass across the room.

Ethan watched the shattered glass fall to the floor and bit his cheek to keep from smiling, "At least you can still see them," he said trying to sound sympathetic, "maybe you should learn to read lips"

"Shut up!" she shouted and stormed from the room, "take him back to his cell" she growled to the Shargal at the door as she whisked past it.

Ethan held up his hands and smiled at the Beast, "C'mon then mate, what are you waiting for?"

The beast grunted and unclipped the end of the chain attached to the wall then violently yanked it making him jerk to his feet and stumble forward before falling onto his face.

He rolled to his side and glared at the Beast, "Now that was uncalled for, I was being cooperative" he grumbled as he pushed himself to his knees.

The Beast just glared at him as he awkwardly pushed himself to his feet then started walking, jerking the chain every so often to get him moving quicker. When he arrived at his cell he sauntered through the door with a cocky grin and sat on his bed, waiting until the Beast had clipped the chain to the wall, undid his manacles then clip the chain to his ankle cuff and walk out before turning and laying down, bringing his hands up behind his head and grinning happily at the ceiling.

 _Nice one Rip, that boy of yours is a genius_ he thought and resisted the urge to laugh out loud at the way things were starting to work out.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"You couldn't have given me a heads up?" Buffy asked as she moved her dress, still in its bag, from inside the wardrobe to the outside of the door.

"Didn't really think about it to be honest B" Faith replied not sounding the least bit sorry.

Buffy sat on her bed with a sigh and rubbed her forehead, "How's things on the Hellmouth?"

"Same old same old," Faith said sounding stressed, "might come and help out myself, I need a break I think"

"You're always welcome, you know that" Buffy said with a grin, "There's enough Slayers and Watchers in Cleveland that it won't implode if you leave for a few weeks, might even do them some good to do it without you"

"Maybe," Faith muttered distractedly, "Any news on the lovable perv?"

"We have a way to get to him," Buffy said mysteriously, standing and staring at herself in the mirror, twisting to the side and smiling at her reflection as she rubbed a hand over her bump, "I just don't like how it will happen"

"How will it happen then?" Faith asked and Buffy heard the low thunk of a knife hitting a target.

"Giles will be taken soon, by Ethans kid" she admitted in a whisper.

"Tell me everything" Faith said after a few minutes of stunned silence.

Buffy sat back on the bed and told her everything they knew, including the vision dreams she'd had and everything Bash had told them about Annabelle, which wasn't much more than what Giles already knew. He still wouldn't tell them why Spike could help which just made her anxiety level rise along with her frustration and feelings of helplessness.

"Fuck B" Faith said twenty minutes later, "Why didn't you tell me sooner, I could be there already"

"That's why I didn't tell you, you're trying to keep Cleveland from being consumed by all the demons Hell can squeeze through its mouth and that's more important" Buffy said smiling up at Giles when he entered the room.

"We need to be there in two hours love" he said taking his suit from the wardrobe door where she had left it, staring at her dress bag in curiosity.

"That G?" Faith asked.

"Uh huh," Buffy said into the receiver then dropped it away from her mouth, "I know, I'm nearly done and it won't take me long, see my hair is already in the curlers" she told him pointing to her head and making a face at his eye roll.

"Tell him I said hi" "Faith said, the grin obvious in her voice, "I'm gonna go and sort out things on my end so I can come visit for a while, I'll let you know when I book my flight" she hung up before Buffy could say a word as usual.

"Faith's coming to visit" she told him, dropping the phone onto the bed behind her.

"Is she able to?" he asked as he brushed a lint roller over his jacket.

"Well yeah, the demonic bomb doesn't go off for another few weeks so I guess she'll come help afterwards and there are more than enough capable Slayers and Watchers to manage the usual madness" she said, grinning when he bent over to retrieve his shoes, "Nice butt love"

He straightened with an embarrassed splutter and looked at her with a pleased blush spreading over his cheeks, "Please get ready, I don't want to be late"

She rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to respond when she was interrupted by Bash bursting into the room with his new German Shepherd puppy chasing him.

"I know his name" Bash told them excitedly, bending to pick the yapping pup up off the floor and giggling when he immediately attacked him with his tongue.

"What's his name then?" Buffy asked with a wide smile, watching the puppy wiggle to be let down.

"Bear" Bash said when he had put him down then ran back out of the room calling for his puppy who ran after him with a gleeful bark.

"You know I'm really not surprised he's bonded with him that quickly" Buffy said standing, stretching slightly before walking over to her vanity table and sitting on the stool.

"Nor am I," Giles said undoing his shirt, "it seems an affinity for animals may be one of his gifts"

"We knew that already thanks to the stray cat he used to pet," she said lifting lipsticks out of the draw and checking the colours, "and that thing was evil, hissed at all of us but when he got close it would purr and weave through his legs"

"I meant that he knew the dogs name" Giles said smiling at her as she turned and gave him a puzzled frown, "Bear seems to be the dogs true name judging by how he immediately knew to follow when he was called. It usually takes a while before an animal learns that"

"Oh, well that too then" she said turning back to the mirror and continuing with her preparations.

"What do we do about him love?" Giles asked, watching her apply her foundation with smooth practised strokes of a brush.

"What can we do?" she asked, looking at him from the mirror, "It's who he is"

"But his power..."

"Is worrying but not a bad thing," she said, putting the brush down and turning to face him, "We're doing everything we can to help him manage it, he has Willow and a whole coven of Witches to help him understand and use it, what else is there to do?"

"What about his being a child?" he asked sitting on the bed opposite her, his dress shirt hanging limply in his hands as his face tightened with worry.

"Is that what you're so worried about?" she asked with an amused smirk. She tutted and stood, walking the few paces to him and sitting next to him, "Listen" she told him smiling.

He gave her a puzzled frown then cocked his head and did as she instructed, looking back at her with a happy smile on his face when he heard the faint sound of his sons laughter accompanied by the sound of a puppy barking.

"See, he's just fine" she told him with a grin standing again, kissing his cheek before moving back to the vanity, "he's not Annabelle love" she told him with a knowing glance in the mirror.

His eyes widened even as he blushed at her insight, "No, he isn't" he smiled at her eye roll and continued to dress for the annual board dinner. "May I ask you something?"

"Sure" she said distractedly as she concentrated on applying her eyeliner.

"How can you be so sure that he won't be tempted by the darker aspect of the craft?" he asked, pulling on his trousers and fastening the button before pulling up the zip.

She stopped what she was doing and focused on him without turning, "Ethan spoke to him" she told him in a whisper.

"Why did he speak to him? What happened?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at the way she frowned at him.

"Why do you always assume something happened?" she asked with a sigh, "It was after the demon attacked me on the beach, he sat him down and explained as well as he could to a two year old that there is good and bad, that Bash and I were good and that he was trying to be good after a long time of being bad" she smiled at the memory and Giles watched it play out in her head.

"He told him he wished he had never given in to the pull of chaos," Giles said in an awe filled voice, "I never thought he would ever say that"

"Yeah, shocked me too, but he told him that even if he felt better when he did something bad it wouldn't last, that he would start to feel empty and cold inside and he told him that if he started to be bad he wouldn't be able to hug me anymore because I fought the bad guys"

"He said that" Giles said angrily, the muscle in his jaw twitching as he clenched it.

"Yeah I know, I yelled at him for that after Bash went to bed," she said with a shake of her head, "but it worked. He always talked to Ethan after that and his laughter came back, Ethans too" she said with a small half smile, "That's how I know he'll be fine, because of what Ethan told him that day and since then he has never used his magic in anger or fear"

"I did wonder how a child as young as him had such a respect and understanding for the craft" he said almost to himself. He smiled at her, letting her know that he was fine now and continued getting ready.

"Ethan always spoke to him as if he was an adult and always answered his questions honestly, just like you do" she said, watching him pick out a tie, "Eww, not that one," she said, wrinkling her nose at the navy blue and pink striped one he had chosen.

"What's wrong with it?" he asked looking at it again.

"Just no Giles," she said standing and running her fingers through his tie rack, "here, wear this one," she said handing him a navy blue one with a fine silver paisley pattern.

"Why this one?" he asked putting it on, dropping his hands when she took over and tied it for him.

"You'll see" she said with a secretive smirk, "Now, out. I need to finish getting ready and you are way too distracting looking like that"

"Distracting how?" he asked with a mischievous smirk, trailing a finger down her bare arm.

"Oh no you don't" she said with a laugh, stepping away from him, "Out, I mean it" she told him pointing to the door.

Laughing he pulled his jacket from the hanger and retrieved his shoes, "I'm leaving in twenty minutes" he said as he pulled the door open.

"I'll be ready in fifteen" she said as she sat back at her vanity with a grin.

Twenty five minutes later Giles shut the car door still muttering about being late.

"Hey this time it was all you," she said as she fastened her seatbelt, "Not my fault you turned into a quivering mess at the sight of this dress"

"You could have warned me you were wearing something like that" he said as he started the car.

She looked down at her dress with a smirk. The pale blue halter neck bodycon dress with the glittery chiffon overlay showed off every inch of her bump, shimmering in the light whenever she moved. When she had seen the look on his face as she came down the stairs she knew she had made the right decision to buy it.

"Now where would have been the fun in that?" she asked innocently, taking his hand when he placed it on her knee, "Let's get this suck fest over with"

"Yes dear" he said with a grin.

Neither of them noticed the motorbike start up a few seconds after they pulled away from the curb and fall into traffic behind them, keeping a few cars between them the entire journey. They never saw it speed past them when they pulled up outside the new council offices nearly forty minutes later.

Suspecting nothing they entered the building arm in arm, smiling happily at each other as they made their way to the ballroom. They had changed so much since the fall of Sunnydale but some things were so deeply rooted in the fabric of the Watchers Council that they had had to adapt this particular tradition to fit their more modern ideas.

Now it was definitely time to party.


End file.
